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Summary: Today we are going to look at how God wants us to deal with our family squabbles...

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Some say it started with a dispute over the ownership of a hog. Others say the ill-fated love of Roseanne McCoy and Johnse Hatfield caused it. Whatever the reason, there was bad blood between the Hatfields of West Virginia and the McCoys of Kentucky---they were feuding.

It is bad enough when two families are fussing and fighting, but it is even worse when members of the same family are going after each other’s throats.

Today we are going to look at how God wants us to deal with our family squabbles.

(James 4:1 NKJV) Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?

James begins this section of his letter with a question. Perhaps you've asked this question.

* Politicians ask this question. "Why do the nations wage war?" Korea; Iraq; Israel and Palestine.

* Parents ask this question of their children. "Why are you kids always fussing and fighting?"

* Partners in marriage ask this question. "Why are we always fighting?"

* Pastors ask this question. "Why can't the members get along?"

James asks, "Where do wars and fights come from among you?"

He then answers his question with another question: "Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?"

James' question is meant to have "yes" for its answer.

The reason why we war and fight is because of our desire for pleasure that wages war in our flesh. We have this innate desire to please ourselves…to gratify our flesh and when someone or something gets in this way of this pursuit for gratification we show our displeasure by fighting and warring.

The word "pleasure" is the Greek word, hedone, hay-don-ay from which we get our English word, hedonism, which is the philosophy of life that makes pleasure mankind’s chief end.

This hedonistic philosophy occurs from the most simplest to the most complex of relationships.

We see this philosophy of life in children. A child sees another child with something that he wants, he will try to take it. If the other child resists, he will employ the various tactics that his physical and emotional maturity supply allow him--pulling, yanking, biting, hitting, and screaming.

If this child had the strength and maturity of an adult he would have the ability to kill to get what he wants.

James puts it this way in verse 2:

(James 4:2 NKJV) You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.

A couple of things we need to make note of here. When James uses the word "murder" he isn't necessarily speaking of literal murder although the rich land owners he spoke of in chapter five were murdering their workers because of their greed for money (5:6). The word "murder" in this context is used as a metaphor to describe the intensity of their lust to have things.

The word "covet" is used by James to describe the result of one's envy for things they see others with.

James lets us know that fighting and warring comes as a result of our lust for things that we cannot obtain.

Then he gives this profound statement at the end of verse 2: "Yet you do not have because you do not ask"

My daughter Rosie who has just turned six has a hard time asking for things. She is good at telling us what she wants. She is good at announcing to us that she is hungry or thirsty. "I want some water" or "I want something to eat." So most of the time we ignore her until she asks for what she wants and uses the "magic word:" please.

The Scripture encourages us to "ask" God for what we need:

(Psa 2:8 NKJV) Ask of Me, and I will give You The nations for Your inheritance, And the ends of the earth for Your possession.

(Mat 7:7 NKJV) "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

(Mat 7:8 NKJV) "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

(Mat 7:9 NKJV) "Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

(Mat 7:10 NKJV) "Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?

(Mat 7:11 NKJV) "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Many of us are not having our needs supplied by God because we simply have not asked Him. Though we give mental assent to our needs we do not ask Him.

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