Some say it started with a dispute over the ownership of a hog. Others say the ill-fated love of Roseanne McCoy and Johnse Hatfield caused it. Whatever the reason, there was bad blood between the Hatfields of West Virginia and the McCoys of Kentucky---they were feuding.
It is bad enough when two families are fussing and fighting, but it is even worse when members of the same family are going after each other’s throats.
Today we are going to look at how God wants us to deal with our family squabbles.
(James 4:1 NKJV) Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?
James begins this section of his letter with a question. Perhaps you've asked this question.
* Politicians ask this question. "Why do the nations wage war?" Korea; Iraq; Israel and Palestine.
* Parents ask this question of their children. "Why are you kids always fussing and fighting?"
* Partners in marriage ask this question. "Why are we always fighting?"
* Pastors ask this question. "Why can't the members get along?"
James asks, "Where do wars and fights come from among you?"
He then answers his question with another question: "Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members?"
James' question is meant to have "yes" for its answer.
The reason why we war and fight is because of our desire for pleasure that wages war in our flesh. We have this innate desire to please ourselves…to gratify our flesh and when someone or something gets in this way of this pursuit for gratification we show our displeasure by fighting and warring.
The word "pleasure" is the Greek word, hedone, hay-don-ay from which we get our English word, hedonism, which is the philosophy of life that makes pleasure mankind’s chief end.
This hedonistic philosophy occurs from the most simplest to the most complex of relationships.
We see this philosophy of life in children. A child sees another child with something that he wants, he will try to take it. If the other child resists, he will employ the various tactics that his physical and emotional maturity supply allow him--pulling, yanking, biting, hitting, and screaming.
If this child had the strength and maturity of an adult he would have the ability to kill to get what he wants.
James puts it this way in verse 2:
(James 4:2 NKJV) You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.
A couple of things we need to make note of here. When James uses the word "murder" he isn't necessarily speaking of literal murder although the rich land owners he spoke of in chapter five were murdering their workers because of their greed for money (5:6). The word "murder" in this context is used as a metaphor to describe the intensity of their lust to have things.
The word "covet" is used by James to describe the result of one's envy for things they see others with.
James lets us know that fighting and warring comes as a result of our lust for things that we cannot obtain.
Then he gives this profound statement at the end of verse 2: "Yet you do not have because you do not ask"
My daughter Rosie who has just turned six has a hard time asking for things. She is good at telling us what she wants. She is good at announcing to us that she is hungry or thirsty. "I want some water" or "I want something to eat." So most of the time we ignore her until she asks for what she wants and uses the "magic word:" please.
The Scripture encourages us to "ask" God for what we need:
(Psa 2:8 NKJV) Ask of Me, and I will give You The nations for Your inheritance, And the ends of the earth for Your possession.
(Mat 7:7 NKJV) "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
(Mat 7:8 NKJV) "For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
(Mat 7:9 NKJV) "Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
(Mat 7:10 NKJV) "Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent?
(Mat 7:11 NKJV) "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
Many of us are not having our needs supplied by God because we simply have not asked Him. Though we give mental assent to our needs we do not ask Him.
Some of us think that pondering over our needs is the same as asking God to meet them. "After all, He knows what we have need of," we reason.
But if truth be told, the reason we do not ask God to meet our needs is because some of us are living lives of prayerlessness. We think about our needs but we refuse to ask God to meet them. This is one of the reasons why we worry so much. Some of us need to be encouraged by the words of the song, What a Friend We Have In Jesus.
What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.
Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.
Now what happens when you ask and still do not get what you stand in need of? Well someone has said, God answers our prayer with either a "Yes," "No" or "Wait."
But there is another dimension to unanswered prayer that James deals with here in our text.
(James 4:3 NKJV) You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.
One reason a believer does not receive what he asks for is that he asks "amiss." The word "amiss" in the KJV means wrong motives. It is translated from the Greek word, kakos, kak-oce' that means, "physically or morally bad", diseased, evil, grievously, miserably, sick, sore.
The verb "ask" is in the middle voice, meaning, “ask for yourself.” It is a selfish prayer, James is saying, that will not be answered. The purpose clause that follows further clarifies, "that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
The word, “spend” could be translated “squander.” “Pleasures” is again the Greek word hedone. In other words, God will never provide for “hedonistic squandering."
This is why many of our prayers are not answered.
First of all we don't ask God. We think about our needs. Perhaps some of us even mention our needs to God but we don't ask.
Secondly, when we do ask God, we ask with impure motives in order to squander on our pleasures.
When you ask for clothing, you just don't want any kind of clothing, you want the kind that you saw on TV--that you coworkers of school friends can compliment you about.
When you ask for transportation, you just don't want any kind of car, you want the kind that so and so is driving.
When you ask for a husband, you just don't want any kind of husband, you want the kind that will make your girl friends green with envy.
When you ask for a place to live, you just don't want shelter for your family, you want a house that will be the talk of your family and friends.
But God isn't our personal genie and He is not stupid. He gives us what we need and He answers our prayers for His glory.
(Psa 50:15 NKJV) Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me."
(Psa 91:14 NKJV) "Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
(Psa 91:15 NKJV) He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.
(Psa 91:16 NKJV) With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation."
The song may say, "call Him up and tell Him what you want" but God wants us to pray not according to what we want but according to His will.
(1 John 5:14 NKJV) Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.
(1 John 5:15 NKJV) And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.
We fuss, fight and war because we do not get what we want.
We do not get what we want because we do not ask.
When we ask and don't get it, we don't get it because we asked with impure motives to squander it on fulfilling our own sinful pleasures.
If James wasn't tough enough with these words, he gets even tougher.
(James 4:4 NKJV) Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
James uses some strong words in writing to his Christian readers. "Adulterers and adulteresses" is a strong metaphor for those who have been spiritually unfaithful to God and who have engaged in an affair with the "world."
The word friendship is the Greek word, philia, fil-ee'-ah. We get our English word Philadelphia from it (the city of brotherly love.) Philia means fondness or friendship.
The world is kosmos in the Greek and refers to that evil organized system under the rule of the devil which opposes God and His will.
James is indicting Christians who have grown fond of the world or that evil organized system under the rule of the devil which opposes God and His will. They have become friends with the world and thus are unfaithful to God.
If you have known unfaithfulness in your relationship with people who claimed they loved you, you know some of the emotions that flood the heart of Jesus when His bride befriends the world.
At the end of verse four, James writes, "Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." This unfaithfulness results in: (1) experiencing hostility or hatred toward God and (2) becoming God's enemy.
Remember James is writing to Christians. We know this because of how he addresses his readers. In five chapters he addresses his readers fifteen times in fifteen verses as brethren.
* James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials…
* James 1:16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.
* James 1:19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
* James 2:1 My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality.
* James 2:5 Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?
* James 2:14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?
But in chapter four he opens up not using the word "brethren" but "Adulterers and adulteresses!" He calls them "hostile toward God" and "God's enemy."
Are you God's enemy? Yes, I know that you are a "child of God" but according to Scripture, even a child of God can become God's enemy--even a child can become his father's enemy.
Remember Absalom, King David's son?
Absalom was the son of David's loins.
David loved his son Absalom.
But Absalom rebelled against his father's kingdom. He wanted to be king. In Absalom was found the sin of pride, vanity, rebellion, deception, seduction, treachery, and self righteousness. He ran his father out of town and would have killed David if he got the chance. Even a child can become his father's enemy.
When you and I as child of God love the world and befriend the world we cause ourselves to become adulterers. We cause ourselves to become God's enemy.
James goes on in verse five of our text to describe how the Holy Spirit feels about our rebellion:
(James 4:5 NKJV) Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, "The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously"?
This is a hard verse to interpret for some. But I believe it is best understood as saying that the Holy Spirit, who indwells believers, intensely desires their loyalty, love, and faithfulness. In other words, God is a jealous God.
In the Old Testament, God says, "You shall have no other gods before Me…For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God…" (Ex. 20:4-5)
God loves us. He proves His love each and every day by giving us the necessities of life. He further demonstrated His great love for us by sending His only Son, Jesus to be our substitute, paying the penalty for our sin with His own life.
When we, who were purchased by the blood of God's dear Son, turn our affections from Him to the world--carouse with the world, jump in bed with the world--God is intensely jealous because He intensely our loyalty, love, and faithfulness.
But on the other hand, if we who are purchased by the blood of God's Son, turn our affections from the world and from pleasing ourselves to pleasing Him, God will shower upon us His favor.
This is what James is saying in the next verse:
(James 4:6 NKJV) But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble."
Someone has said that "God doesn't bless ugly." God doesn't bless sin. When those who claim to be followers of Jesus Christ jump in bed with the world, they make God their enemy.
Earlier in his book, in chapter one, James says that the one who vacillates between faith and unbelief is double-minded and unstable in his ways and one who shouldn't suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord.
But those who wait, look to or hope in the LORD, Isaiah says, "shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint."
The Bible says, "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble."
Pride, arrogance and selfishness makes you an enemy of God. Proverbs says, the Lord hates the proud look. (Proverbs 6:17) James says, "God resists the proud…"
But humility evokes the grace of God and the favor of God in your life.
Let's see how the Bible illustrates the difference between the grace of God for being obedient and the resistance of God toward His enemies:
(Deu 28:15 NKJV) "But it shall come to pass, if you do not obey the voice of the LORD your God, to observe carefully all His commandments and His statutes which I command you today, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you:
(Deu 28:16 NKJV) "Cursed shall you be in the city, and cursed shall you be in the country.
(Deu 28:17 NKJV) "Cursed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.
(Deu 28:18 NKJV) "Cursed shall be the fruit of your body and the produce of your land, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flocks.
(Deu 28:19 NKJV) "Cursed shall you be when you come in, and cursed shall you be when you go out.
(Deu 28:20 NKJV) "The LORD will send on you cursing, confusion, and rebuke in all that you set your hand to do, until you are destroyed and until you perish quickly, because of the wickedness of your doings in which you have forsaken Me.
God resists the proud and the disobedient but gives grace to the humble or to the one who follows after Him and His ways.
(Deu 28:1 NKJV) "Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the LORD your God, to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the LORD your God will set you high above all nations of the earth.
(Deu 28:2 NKJV) "And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the LORD your God:
(Deu 28:3 NKJV) "Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country.
(Deu 28:4 NKJV) "Blessed shall be the fruit of your body, the produce of your ground and the increase of your herds, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flocks.
(Deu 28:5 NKJV) "Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.
(Deu 28:6 NKJV) "Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.
(Deu 28:7 NKJV) "The LORD will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before your face; they shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways.
(Deu 28:8 NKJV) "The LORD will command the blessing on you in your storehouses and in all to which you set your hand, and He will bless you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you.
(Deu 28:9 NKJV) "The LORD will establish you as a holy people to Himself, just as He has sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of the LORD your God and walk in His ways.
Now let me clarify something for our Bible students and theologians. These are specific promises to the nation of Israel. There were specific material blessings that God would pronounce upon His people for their obedience. These were promises to Israel, not the church.
However, we can extract from these passages and our text in James a principle that God blesses obedience and doesn't bless disobedience.
This principle is taught in the New Testament by the Apostle Peter:
(1 Pet 3:8 NKJV) Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;
(1 Pet 3:9 NKJV) not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
(1 Pet 3:10 NKJV) For "He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit.
(1 Pet 3:11 NKJV) Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it.
(1 Pet 3:12 NKJV) For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their prayers; But the face of the LORD is against those who do evil."
Even the book of Hebrews tells us that God chastens and corrects His children so that we might be partakers of His holiness. In other words, He spanks us when we are disobedient so that we might live a pure life (Hebrews 12:3-11).
The crux of the matter is this:
Some of us haven't been on the receiving end of God's blessing because of our worldliness.
Some of us have been crying out to God for days or months, even years but God has been resisting us because of our disobedience.
Again James says:
You lust and do not have.
You murder and covet and cannot obtain.
You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.
You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.
Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
So what is the cure? How can we move from being the objects of God's resistance to the objects of His blessing?
James gives us the answer in ten steps. Let me first read the context from which they are found:
(James 4:7 NKJV) Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
(James 4:8 NKJV) Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
(James 4:9 NKJV) Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
(James 4:10 NKJV) Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.
Ten Steps to God's Blessing: (I call this the "Ten Steps of Repentance")
1.) Submission to God - submit: hupotasso, to subordinate
* Submitting to God is acknowledging that you are nothing and He is everything.
* It is acknowledging that you are weak and He is strong
* It is acknowledging that without Him you can do nothing.
* It is acknowledging that He is Lord and you are His servant
* It is saying like Paul, "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God…"
2.) Resistance of the devil - resist: anthistemi, anth-is'-tay-mee; to stand against, i.e. oppose:--resist, withstand
* Being aware of his schemes and resisting them. Paul said that he was not ignorant of Satan's schemes (2 Cor. 2:11)
* In Ephesians 6:11 Paul writes that we resist or "stand against" the devil by putting on the "whole armor of God."
* Gird your waist with truth (One of Satan's weapons is lies and deception)
* Put on the breastplate of righteousness,
* Shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
* Take the shield of faith to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.
* Take the helmet of salvation,
* Utilize the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;
* Pray always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit
3.) Drawing near to God
* James is saying that you and I must pursue God on a regular basis. Not just a mental assent to God--not just acknowledge His presence but pursuing Him.
The other day, I was on my way out of the house and Debbie said she needed to talk to me about something. I said, "Okay." as I was walking toward the door and she said, "No, I want you to sit down for a moment." This is what James is saying, "Draw near to God…Sit down with Him, Make time for Him, Spend time with Him."
* James also says, "If you draw near to God, in response, He will draw near to you."
I remember hearing a message on my voicemail at church from an administrator of an organization who left me a message that he was trying to contact me to see how I was doing and to fellowship and pray with me. When I heard the message I was touched I told my wife about it and couldn't wait to get back with him for fellowship.
This is how God is. When you and I draw near to Him, He will draw near to us!
When I finally got back with this brother, I was grieved in my spirit as I perceived that I was really no more than a name on a list of pastors he was checking off as he contacted them. It was this brother's "ministry obligation." His prayer was nothing more than a perfunctory obligatory prayer--it was his "job" to contact and pray with people like me.
When you approach God, do you approach Him because it is your obligation as a Christian or do you, like Paul in Philippians 3, want to "know Him…?"
4.) Cleansing of hands - cleanse: katharizo, kath-ar-id'-zo. We get our English word catharsis, which means to cleanse, make clean, purge, purify.
* James is telling the Christian to go the restroom and take some soap and wash his or her hands. Both “cleanse/wash” and “purify” are verbs that refer to ceremonial cleansing, a figure that spoke eloquently to Jewish converts. James is referring to the cleansing from the defilements of worldly influences.
In 2 Cor 7:1, Paul writes, "…beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."
In other words, both James and Paul are telling us that we need to live the "set apart life" from the things in this world that are sinful and downright wicked.
5.) Purifying the heart
* This is connected with the previous thought. Cleansing focuses on the outside influences. "Purifying" focuses on the inside. There is defilement from the outside (2 Cor. 7:1) and corruption from the inside (2 Peter 1:4; 2:19)
The corruption begins in the heart and leads to defilement from what we do or where we go. You are not going to get involved in a particular sin unless the sin has first taken root in your heart.
Jesus says, "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man…" (Matthew 15:19-20)
(James 4:7 NKJV) Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
(James 4:8 NKJV) Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
(James 4:9 NKJV) Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
6.) Lamentation - talaiporeo, tal-ahee-po-reh'-o, to be wretched, i.e. realize one's own misery:--be afflicted.
Contrary to the worldly philosophy that has crept into the church--you know the way of thinking that says, "I'm somebody" or "I'm the greatest."
A popular song our children are being taught to sing has these words:
I believe that children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my need
A lonely place to be and so I learned to depend on me
I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow
If I fail, if I succeed at least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me, they can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all inside of me
The greatest love of all is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all
But the Word of God says just the opposite. It says the greatest love of all is God for God is love and the greatest commandment of all is to "…love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." (Matthew 22:37)
Like John the Baptist we must say, "I must decrease and He must increase." The Bible teaches the way up is down as we shall see at the end of our text where James says, "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up."
James says we must "lament" we must "grieve" we must realize our own nothingness without Christ.
Like Paul, we must see ourselves as the "chief of sinners." (1 Timothy 1:15)
Like Isaiah, we must say in the sight of a Holy God, " said: "Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The LORD of hosts."
This will lead to steps number 7 and 8:
7.) Mourning
8.) Weeping
(Psa 6:1 NKJV) O LORD, do not rebuke me in Your anger, Nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure.
(Psa 6:2 NKJV) Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled.
(Psa 6:3 NKJV) My soul also is greatly troubled; But You, O LORD; how long?
(Psa 6:4 NKJV) Return, O LORD, deliver me! Oh, save me for Your mercies' sake!
(Psa 6:5 NKJV) For in death there is no remembrance of You; In the grave who will give You thanks?
(Psa 6:6 NKJV) I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears.
(Psa 6:7 NKJV) My eye wastes away because of grief; It grows old because of all my enemies.
(Psa 6:8 NKJV) Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity; For the LORD has heard the voice of my weeping.
(Psa 6:9 NKJV) The LORD has heard my supplication; The LORD will receive my prayer.
9.) Turning
James says, " Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom." gloom (lit., “a downcast look, lowered eyes”). In other words, James is saying, a contrite spirit of confession is essential for God’s cleansing.
Psalm 34:18 says, "The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit."
Psalm 51:17 says, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart; These, O God, You will not despise."
10.) Humbling oneself in the sight of the Lord.
The way up is down. The lowly one becomes the lifted one. There is a marked advantage to humility—eventually it brings honor.
