Do You Need A Boost?

DO YOU NEED A BOOST?

We could all use a little more encouragement in our lives, right? We get run-down, we get disheartened. We wonder if what we’re doing really matters. We could all use a little boost every now and then. No, not the nutrition shake, although that might help too.

But there are times when we could all use a helping hand or a pep talk. Giving someone a boost means we are lifting them up; we're encouraging them. Giving a boost means we are supporting them, inspiring them, motivating them. We're building them up when they feel down.

Boost can mean to lift but it can also mean to improve or make better. That's what we're trying to do when we speak encouraging words or do encouraging things. We're seeking to improve someone's perspective or outlook. We're looking to make things better for someone.

1) Why is encouragement so uncommon?

Jealousy. I'm not going to encourage you when I’m jealous of your accomplishments. Plus, because I'm jealous, when you fail at something I’m going to be happy. Therefore, I'm not going to encourage you by complimenting you when you achieve something, nor will I be there to encourage you when you are down. When people are jealous, encouraging someone is probably the furthest thing from their minds.

I'm discouraged. Going through life without receiving much encouragement can set the stage for me living in a state of discouragement. The glass is half-empty, I'm waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. I say things to myself like, “things never work out for me”, “I’m such a loser”, “I hate my life; I hate myself”.

It’s hard to encourage someone else when this is how I think of myself. If I'm pessimistic or despondent a lot of the time, I'm not going to encourage anyone. I probably won't even know how to be encouraging since it's a foreign concept to me.

People who are discouraged are looking for someone to encourage them. So one of the reasons encouragement isn't common is because too many people are waiting to be encouraged and there are fewer people doing the encouraging.

It’s easier to point out faults than abilities. It’s easier to focus on what you’re doing wrong than what you’re doing right. One reason we do that is our expectations. We feel certain people should be at a certain level so when they don’t perform up to our standards we light into them.

Although we wouldn't say this, sometimes we expect people to be perfect. So when they let us down we make sure they know it. That's why we don't highlight their abilities-to us those abilities aren't special because we’ve erroneously elevated them to an impossible status. But their faults are something we feel they shouldn’t have and so we go after those. We don't cut people any slack. We make them out to be super-human.

We might do this to ourselves too. We hold ourselves to a high standard. We won't accept mistakes; we'll beat ourselves up over a sub-par performance. We don't ever encourage ourselves; we only yell at ourselves. We can't be encouragers if we always demean ourselves.

Not that we should go around thinking we're all that, but we should lighten-up and realize that we're allowed to make mistakes. And we need to have that forgiving nature toward others too. That way, instead of only speaking up when someone does something wrong; we'll focus more on speaking up when they do something well.

The Duke of Wellington, the British military leader who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo, was not an easy man to serve under. He was brilliant but quite demanding and not one to shower his subordinates with compliments. Yet even he realized his methods left something to be desired.

In his old age a young lady asked him what, if anything, he would do differently if he had his life to live over again. Wellington thought for a moment then replied, "I’d give more praise". Sounds like a good idea to me.

2) Hey, give me a boost!

When we were kids, there were times when we asked a friend to give us a boost. Perhaps we couldn't reach the top of the fence to climb over it so we asked for a boost. So our friend would lace their fingers together, then we would put our foot in their hands and they would lift us up. We needed a boost and our friend helped us out.

Paul is telling us to do that in Eph. 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs."

Paul says our words should help to boost others up in relation to what their needs are. But if our words are unwholesome they are harmful. We're not building up, we're tearing down. We won't give them a boost we'll knock them down.