DO YOU NEED A BOOST?
We could all use a little more encouragement in our lives, right? We get run-down, we get disheartened. We wonder if what we’re doing really matters. We could all use a little boost every now and then. No, not the nutrition shake, although that might help too.
But there are times when we could all use a helping hand or a pep talk. Giving someone a boost means we are lifting them up; we're encouraging them. Giving a boost means we are supporting them, inspiring them, motivating them. We're building them up when they feel down.
Boost can mean to lift but it can also mean to improve or make better. That's what we're trying to do when we speak encouraging words or do encouraging things. We're seeking to improve someone's perspective or outlook. We're looking to make things better for someone.
1) Why is encouragement so uncommon?
Jealousy. I'm not going to encourage you when I’m jealous of your accomplishments. Plus, because I'm jealous, when you fail at something I’m going to be happy. Therefore, I'm not going to encourage you by complimenting you when you achieve something, nor will I be there to encourage you when you are down. When people are jealous, encouraging someone is probably the furthest thing from their minds.
I'm discouraged. Going through life without receiving much encouragement can set the stage for me living in a state of discouragement. The glass is half-empty, I'm waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. I say things to myself like, “things never work out for me”, “I’m such a loser”, “I hate my life; I hate myself”.
It’s hard to encourage someone else when this is how I think of myself. If I'm pessimistic or despondent a lot of the time, I'm not going to encourage anyone. I probably won't even know how to be encouraging since it's a foreign concept to me.
People who are discouraged are looking for someone to encourage them. So one of the reasons encouragement isn't common is because too many people are waiting to be encouraged and there are fewer people doing the encouraging.
It’s easier to point out faults than abilities. It’s easier to focus on what you’re doing wrong than what you’re doing right. One reason we do that is our expectations. We feel certain people should be at a certain level so when they don’t perform up to our standards we light into them.
Although we wouldn't say this, sometimes we expect people to be perfect. So when they let us down we make sure they know it. That's why we don't highlight their abilities-to us those abilities aren't special because we’ve erroneously elevated them to an impossible status. But their faults are something we feel they shouldn’t have and so we go after those. We don't cut people any slack. We make them out to be super-human.
We might do this to ourselves too. We hold ourselves to a high standard. We won't accept mistakes; we'll beat ourselves up over a sub-par performance. We don't ever encourage ourselves; we only yell at ourselves. We can't be encouragers if we always demean ourselves.
Not that we should go around thinking we're all that, but we should lighten-up and realize that we're allowed to make mistakes. And we need to have that forgiving nature toward others too. That way, instead of only speaking up when someone does something wrong; we'll focus more on speaking up when they do something well.
The Duke of Wellington, the British military leader who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo, was not an easy man to serve under. He was brilliant but quite demanding and not one to shower his subordinates with compliments. Yet even he realized his methods left something to be desired.
In his old age a young lady asked him what, if anything, he would do differently if he had his life to live over again. Wellington thought for a moment then replied, "I’d give more praise". Sounds like a good idea to me.
2) Hey, give me a boost!
When we were kids, there were times when we asked a friend to give us a boost. Perhaps we couldn't reach the top of the fence to climb over it so we asked for a boost. So our friend would lace their fingers together, then we would put our foot in their hands and they would lift us up. We needed a boost and our friend helped us out.
Paul is telling us to do that in Eph. 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs."
Paul says our words should help to boost others up in relation to what their needs are. But if our words are unwholesome they are harmful. We're not building up, we're tearing down. We won't give them a boost we'll knock them down.
If our friends are having trouble getting over that proverbial fence what do we do? Do we criticize them for not being able to climb over it? Do we tell them to just try harder? Or do we lace our fingers together and tell them to put their foot in and we'll give them a boost?
If they have a problem do we say, 'let's sit down and figure this out together'? If they're feeling down do we ask if we can pray with them or ask them if they need anything? If we know they have a project that needs to get done do we offer our help? If they hit hard times do we offer to help provide for their needs?
It's about being proactive. We can be like, 'if they want help they need to ask for it'. Sometimes they won't. They'll feel embarrassed or they don't want to impose. When we know someone needs help we can be encouraging by asking them if they need anything instead of waiting to be asked.
There are plenty of wholesome phrases we can say to help boost someone. But why is it that the statements that are most encouraging are so hard for us to say? "I'm sorry", "I love you", "good job"; we feel these things but they don't come out our mouths. Taking Eph. 4:29 to heart would change that.
I did the series on bouncing back. Joseph, the Prodigal son, Peter and Paul all bounced back. I thought, how much of a role did words of encouragement helps these guys to be able to bounce back? Take Joseph-Potiphar took notice of him and put him in charge and the jailer took notice of him and put him in charge.
Although we're not given any specific words from these two, You can be sure that they didn't just see how well Joseph was doing, they would've told him so when they put him in charge. "Wow, Joseph, you're doing a great job. How would you like a promotion?"
After he interpreted Pharaoh's dreams and told him the plan to prepare for the upcoming famine, Pharaoh made Joseph 2nd in command. He said there was no one like him; no one as wise and discerning as him because he had the Spirit of God.
Pharaoh expressed what he saw in Joseph. We need to do that too. How often do we encourage others and tell them they're doing a good job? How much of a boost would that give them and cause them to excel even more than they already are?
What about the people who are trying hard? They may not be doing a great job yet but they're putting in the effort. We need to acknowledge that and encourage them. That boost might be the key to helping them to not give up, giving them a chance to correct their mistakes and go on to do well.
One way we can give someone a boost is when they know we're praying for them. Paul went through a lot of suffering and hardship. But he didn't do it alone. He often had companions like Barnabas and Silas. And Barnabas means Son of Encouragement so we know he encouraged Paul. But others did too. One of the ways Paul was encouraged was through people's prayers.
2nd Cor. 1:8-11, "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.
But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."
Paul states his reliance on God to deliver them from perilous situations. But he also cites the prayers of his fellow saints as being helpful to him. His hope was in Christ but knowing people were praying for him was a great help.
How have you been encouraged by people praying for you? For me it brings comfort and relief. I know I'm not alone; I have people praying for me and my role as a Minister. It motivates me and gives me strength as I'm sure it did for Paul.
I'm sure Paul valued the encouragement he received while was in prison. In the first chapter of Philippians, which Paul wrote from prison, he said his situation was encouraging others to speak the word of God more courageously.
Then he states that although some did this out of sincere love, others didn't. Those who didn't were not very encouraging because their motive stemmed from envy and rivalry; trying to make trouble for Paul. But Paul was still encouraged.
Phil 1:18-19, "But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance."
The encouragement Paul had from those who were motivated to preach Jesus and knowing people prayed for him, along with the encouragement he received from the Holy Spirit would keep him going; being sure of his deliverance.
Being in a prison cell day after day would be disheartening. For those who are incarcerated, things like visits, phone calls and letters are what helps to give them the boost they need to make it through. I can imagine how much of a difference there is between an inmate who receives these encouraging things and the ones who don't.
3) A little encouragement can make a big difference.
I think you would agree that a little encouragement can go a long way. At the same time a little discouragement can go a long way too. Encouragement and discouragement are two powerful things. It only takes a little of either to be impactful.
Although things like the weather, the news, or our circumstances can encourage or discourage us; one of the biggest things that does that are words. Prov. 12:25, “An anxious heart weighs a man down but a kind word cheers him up.”
I can be anxious for a variety of reasons; an upcoming appointment that could turn out negative. I'm worried how my current situation will play out. Sometimes the wheels of my anxious heart get turning; causing me to exaggerate my situation. But if a caring friend comes along and puts things in perspective for me, bringing me back to reality, that kind and encouraging word will cheer me up.
Often times an anxious heart is caused by a fear of the unknown. So when we're facing something unknown we need to be reminded of what is known. Being reminded that we serve a God who knows the unknown and that he loves us and watches out for us can bring relief to our weighed down hearts. A little encouragement can make a big difference.
Howard Hendricks was a problem child who came from a broken home. On his first day in 5th grade the teacher said, 'Oh, Howard Hendricks; I've heard about you. I understand you're the worst kid in school.' That year Howard did what he could to prove her right.
When he entered into 6th grade his teacher said to him, 'Oh, so you're Howard Hendricks. I heard you're the worst boy in school.' He thought, 'Here we go again.' But then the teacher continued, 'You know what? I don't believe it.' Howard said that woman did everything she could to help him and encourage him. She praised his work; she believed in him. Hendricks credits her with changing his life forever.
Prov. 25:11, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Receiving a word of encouragement is as valuable as receiving gold and silver.
William Arthur Ward said, "Flatter me and I may not believe you. Criticize me and I may not like you. Ignore me and I may not forgive you. Encourage me and I will not forget you.”
Having someone believe in you can make all the difference in the world. Someone who has the ability and the willingness to see beyond the problems and see the potential. This is the type of person that changes lives.
Everybody messes up, even Christians. But sometimes we don't do a good job at encouraging each other when we do. Quote: “the Christian army is the only army that shoots its wounded." That really needs to change if we are going to help each other to continue to fight the good fight and finish strong. We're in a spiritual war and we need to encourage each other, help them up when they fall and walk alongside of them.
Heb. 3:12-13, "See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness."
The writer gives a counter to developing a sinful heart that turns away from God-be an encourager. When we're all encouraging each other we will stand strong and united. It's important that he tells us to do it on a daily basis. We make the mistake of delaying encouragement. "I'll do it tomorrow". The lesson is to not put off encouraging someone since you don't know what tomorrow will bring.
I also see this as encouraging someone who has begun to turn away. Although we're all responsible for our actions, one reason we could drift away and become hardened by sin is because we're not feeling encouraged. We may think our sin is too big and too frequent and we're not able to overcome it. We're believing Satan's lies that we're alone in this battle and that we can't win. So we start to pull back and withdraw.
But if we encourage people by telling them the Lord is greater than the enemy and that the power of the Holy Spirit within them can accomplish anything then we can encourage them to throw off the sin that entangles them so they can run their race with perseverance.
When our brothers and sisters in Christ are discouraged because of sin or some personal setbacks we can give them a boost by reminding them how much Jesus loves them and how much we care about them and want to see them do well. We give them a boost when we help to convince them that they can win the battle and make it to the finish line. A little encouragement goes a long way.
In their book Passionate People, Keith Miller & Bruce Larson describe two kinds of people: "basement people" and "balcony people." "Basement people" are the discouragers in our lives. They may be people from our past, or present, but their words go with us everywhere we go.
They are the negative influences and their words go something like this: "You can't do that." "That was a stupid thing to do." "When are you going to get it right?" "You’ll never amount to anything." They divert us from our hopes and dreams. They constantly point out what's wrong rather than what's right. Basement people cause a room to light up when they leave.
In contrast to them are the "Balcony People." They're full of love and cheer us on. They encourage us to be loving, courageous followers of Christ. They sit in the balcony of our lives like a heavenly cheering section, saying, "You can do it." "We believe in you." "You are special to us."
Balcony people are the great encouragers in our lives and we all need them! Balcony people try to lift people up to where they are, but basement people try to drag people down to where they are. Are we going to be basement people or balcony people? There’s no question which one God wants us to be. Let’s go give someone a boost.
