Divorce Series

Untouchables: Divorce

collision. 4.9.07. gregg barbour

One day a young man was looking through the classifieds in search of a used car when he came upon an ad for a brand new Jaguar being sold for only $50. Surely he thought this was typo, but calling the number listed he was assured that $50 was correct. The next day he went by to see the car and to his amazement found the automobile to be in superb condition. Asking the woman why she was selling a $150,000 car for only $50.00 the woman said, “A year ago my husband began to go through a mid-life crisis. That’s when he bought this car. About a month ago he ran off with his 23 year old secretary. A week ago he called to say he was running short on cash and asked me to sell his Jag and send him the money. So that’s exactly what I’m doing.”...

We’ve taken a break for a couple weeks from our Untouchables series due to some unfortunate circumstances, but tonight, we’re back on. We’ll be talking about Divorce.

How many of you in here have parents who are divorced? It’s sad to say that you are in the norm. 50% percent of marriages end in Divorce. The divorce rate is even higher for those who have had a divorce and got re-married: 67% of second and 74% of third marriages.

How many of you know someone who’s been through a divorce?

There are many common causes of divorce in America:

Poor communication

Financial problems

A lack of commitment to the marriage

A dramatic change in priorities

Infidelity (not staying faithful)

Let’s take a look at some of God’s thoughts on divorce:

Malachi 2:15-16, “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. ‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel, ‘ and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith.”

Let’s read these words of Jesus, from Matthew 5:31-32. Please follow along as I read.

"It has been said, `Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

Let’s explore a few questions:

The first is this:

1. Why does Jesus discourage divorce?

* Because marriage is an image of Christ’s love for the church.

One of the lies being perpetrated by our society today is that marriage is no different than living together, except for a slip of paper.

That’s just not true! A marriage is not a contract; it’s a covenant. What’s the difference?

Well, let me just put it this way. When you sign a contract to buy a house, would you die for that house? No.

But Jesus says that He died for the church. He laid His life down, and the book of Ephesians tells us that Jesus labors to present us as stainless and pure before the Father.

Divorce hurts the image of the church, especially when professing believers in Jesus do it.

And divorce hurts Jesus,...

* Because it hurts those He loves.

I think that the chances of a pain-free divorce are so slim as to be virtually non-existent.

You might hate each other’s guts, and the divorce process might go smoothly in some cases, but the fact is that a marriage has been destroyed, and lives have been impacted negatively.

Who really wins in a divorce? No one. Yeah, you might get the house or the pets, or even custody of the children.

But did you really win? I don’t think so. There is still hurt, there is still pain, there is still shame in not being able to work it out.

I just don’t see how anybody could win in a divorce situation.

Even if the divorce was the result of a dangerous living situation, there is pain involved, and no one really wins.

Folks, Jesus doesn’t want divorce. The religious leaders of Jesus’ day made it very easy, and so does our society today.

But Jesus discourages divorce. Let’s look at the next question,...

2. When is divorce permissible?

1. Unfaithfulness.

Jesus just talked about adultery. It is one of the Ten Commandments, and Jesus makes it plain that it is still a sin.

It is a sin not only against God, but against your spouse. And it is serious enough for God to allow a divorce if necessary.