Divorce And Remarriage Pt.1 - Matthew 5:31-32 Series

Matthew 5:31-32 "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Introduction

Jesus says, “If anyone divorces his wife it’s adultery, except…” (and then He goes on to give an exception). And there are enough books and articles written on the question of what that exception is to sink an aircraft carrier. Read any book on the subject, read any commentary on this passage, listen to pretty much any sermon on this text and the great majority of it – if not all of it – will be devoted to exploring what that exception is (or is not), and what other exceptions might there be. What you will not find is very much discussion of Jesus’ main point – that divorce is adultery.

Studying the exceptions and non-exceptions is important. It is a complex study but we are going to have to roll up our sleeves and do it, because we need to know what the Lord wants us to do in all our various marital situations. So we will plan on doing that in the weeks to come – answering questions about if and when divorce or remarriage are permitted, or if you are the innocent party, or if you are the guilty party, if you have blown it but now you have repented, is there a difference between what God permits and what is actually best, etc. But before we get too wrapped up in all of that, it is crucial that we are rock solid on the main point. Otherwise we will probably go astray in our application of whatever we come up with regarding our view on the exceptions. It is more important to know the rule than the exceptions to the rule.

And as controversial as the subject of divorce and remarriage is, there really is not all that much controversy among evangelicals over what the rule is. Generally speaking, divorce is adultery. Jesus made this point from various different angles.

Mark 10:11 Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

Matthew 5:32 anyone who divorces his wife, except for immorality, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

So the person who divorces and remarries is guilty of adultery; the person who marries the innocent party commits adultery; and there is even a sense in which the innocent party becomes an adulteress (or adulterer). Divorce is an explosion of sin. And the blast radius starts wide and gets even wider as time goes on.

The Two Sides of Love

Divorce is a sin of unfaithfulness. You make a vow – “Till death do us part” or “as long as we both shall live” – and then you break that vow. That is unfaithfulness.

Remember that in this section Jesus is giving six examples of how the Pharisees’ righteousness was inadequate. He began by showing that their effort to keep the sixth commandment (Thou shalt not murder) fell way short. They thought if they did not kill anyone, they were OK, but Jesus says, “No, if you hate or get angry or call people fools or fail to reconcile broken relationships – you have broken the sixth commandment. All that is in verses 21-26. Then starting in verse 27 Jesus moves to commandment #7 – Thou shalt not commit adultery. Now this section on adultery is fascinating because it is divided into two parts.

There are two ways to commit adultery. Verses 27-30 focus on desire, and verses 31-32 focus on commitment. If you enjoy another woman (or man) in a sexual way in your mind, or you allow your desires to turn toward someone besides your spouse – that is adultery. And if you divorce and remarry, that is adultery.

What this shows us is the two sides of love. You owe your spouse both enjoyment and commitment, because both are part of love. If you have one without the other, it is not true love.

If you are attracted to someone, desire that person, enjoy that person, but you are not committed or devoted, that is not love. Where there is real love, commitment and devotion take over where desire and delight leave off. You love your children. You have a baby, and you enjoy holding her, you love seeing her smile, you hold her and kiss her – not out of discipline, but out of desire. You genuinely enjoy her. But in the middle of the night, when you just finally dropped off to sleep, and she is suddenly screaming for no apparent reason – that is where desire leaves off and devotion takes over. You get out of bed, not because your desire to be with her is pushing you out of bed, but because your commitment to her wellbeing is pulling you out of bed.