Dealing With Grief

Dealing with Grief

Tuesday morning, I woke up to a text from Marc telling me Reece had been in a motorcycle accident, and that they were on their way to Tampa. I woke Gladys up, told her about Marc’s message, asked her to pray, and headed to Tampa.

I called Marc shortly after I left and told him I was on the way, and asked about Reece. He said, please pray. He’s heading into surgery now, and it doesn’t look good. Half way to Tampa, he texted me again and told me that they had just lost Reece.

It took a while getting through Tampa traffic, but I finally got to the hospital and found them in the parking lot. We cried. We waited to see what needed to be done next and after a couple of hours we headed back.

When we got back, Gladys joined me, and we went over to Marc, Bindu and Alex’s house where we cried again. Then we went home, where we spent most of the rest of the day in largely numbed silence. There was a numbness, and quiet in the house comparable to 9/11.

From talking to many of you on the phone, I know that many of you have had times of crying, times of mourning as well. We cry because we have lost a young man who grew up here. Every where I look I see Reece’s fingerprints. I see him pulling younger children up the zip line. I see him as part of the color guard with MPC, marching up to raise and lower the flags. I see him wrestling with other kids his age, playing king of the mountain on the raft.

I see him growing up with Drew, wrestling in our living room.

We grieve because we have lost a young man, who has been part of our lives and part of our church family, since shortly after this church was started.

We also grieve because of the devastation this has brought into the lives of Marc, Bindu, and Aliec; people who are part of the heart and soul of our church. We grieve because of the pain we see these dear friends going through, knowing that their home, and dreams have been forever changed.

The other day I called a pastor friend of mine in Mississippi, who lost his son in a traffic accident 2 years ago, and asked what I can do to help? He said, “Not much. From now on, that loss is part of their story. It’s become part of who they are.”

He did tell me, though, that he was surprised by how much their church family ended up grieving as well, for his son had also grown up in their church, and all of the families there were also impacted by his loss.

I know many of you have been impacted by this great loss as well. Some of you have sat numbly, as we have. Some of you have canceled plans, unable to follow through in the midst of your grief. Some of you who seldom get out, have gone by to check on Marc, Bindu and Alec. Others of you are here this morning, specifically because you want to be with your church family in the midst of our loss.

Many of you, and many former church members who now attend somewhere else have reached out and asked, “What can we do?”

Turn with me please to Ecclesiastes chapter 3. Ecclesiastes chapter 3, as this morning we look together at how to deal with grief.

- Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

PRAYER

I want you to look with me again please at verse 4.

- Read Ecclesiastes 3:4

Solomon, the son of King David has now become king. In 1 Kings chapter 3, Solomon goes to Gibeon, and sacrifices 1,000 burnt offerings to the Lord. After that sacrifices, the Lord comes to Solomon in a dream and asks Solomon, “What shall I give you?” Beginning In verse 6 we read:

> 1 Kings 3:6-12 And Solomon replied, “You have shown great and faithful love to your servant, my father David, because he walked before you in faithfulness, righteousness, and integrity.[b] You have continued this great and faithful love for him by giving him a son to sit on his throne, as it is today.

“Lord my God, you have now made your servant king in my father David’s place. Yet I am just a youth with no experience in leadership. Your servant is among your people you have chosen, a people too many to be numbered or counted. So give your servant a receptive heart to judge your people and to discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of yours?” Now it pleased the Lord that Solomon had requested this.So God said to him, “Because you have requested this and did not ask for long life or riches for yourself, or the death of your enemies, but you asked discernment for yourself to administer justice, I will therefore do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and understanding heart, so that there has never been anyone like you before and never will be again.