Contrary Christianity Series

Companionship. Consideration. Cherish. Compensate.

5. Cooperate. A husband is not inherently better or more special than his spouse. We’re equal in spiritual footing and eternal importance because we are partners. Christian husbands and wives are “heirs together of the grace of life.” That means that we are sharers together in salvation. Romans 8:17 calls us “joint heirs with Christ.” Malachi 2:14 says, “…yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

I listened to a sermon this past week by Kenny Anderson called, “Bullies and Bums.” In it, he said that often a husband is either a bully or he’s a bum. He calls these two extremes distortions or perversions of God’s order.

Bully Bum

Tyrannical Timid

Abusive Passive

Pig Chicken

Rabid Dog Scared Puppy

Iron Fist Cold Feet

Hurts Hides

Heartless Spineless

Attacks Abandons

Hovers Over Hides Under

Brute Baby

Scary Scared

Jerk Joke

Domination Indifference

Instead of being bullies or bums, we’re called to be biblical men who recognize that we are “heirs together of the grace of life” with our wives. Galatians 3:28-29 says that there are no second class citizens in the kingdom: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” This helps husbands to initiate without being intimidating. I’m to be bold and yet broken, a lion and yet a lamb, caring but not a coward. In short, Beth needs me to be a tender warrior as I lovingly lead her and our family.

I like how John Piper defines headship: “The divine calling of a husband to take the primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection and provision in the home.”

I often tell guys when they ask for dating advice to remember that their girlfriend is first and foremost their sister in Christ. The same applies to marriage. Fellow husbands, because your wife is your sister in Christ, pray for her, love her, encourage her, and serve with her. Reach out to your neighbors together. We’re having a Christmas Cookie Open House for our neighborhood in a couple weeks and we’re going to do it together. Why? Because we’re fellow heirs, brothers and sisters in Christ, partners in ministry as we live on mission for God’s glory until He takes us home.

Companionship. Consideration. Cherish. Compensate. Cooperate. There’s one more word.

6. Connect. I don’t think enough about this but how I treat Beth has a direct impact on my spiritual life. Specifically, Peter tells husbands to love their wives “so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Fellow husbands, while it’s true that God calls our wives to submit to our loving leadership, listen to what Colossians 3:19 says: “Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” Another translation puts it like this: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” I like this paraphrase: “Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.” The way I treat Beth is a proclamation of who Christ is. If I’m not treating her right, then things between God and I won’t be right.