Conflict Management: The Source Of Conflict

Conflict Management:

The Source of Conflict

Matthew 10:34-37

By: Donny Tatimu

doni_t@yahoo.com

These verses can be one of the most difficult verses in the Bible to explain. I know that many of you will agree with me. Let see this verses in its proper context:

34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. 37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. 40 He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

These verses in the context of love Him or love Him not. Let’s see another verses in the other side of The Bible that has the same message with Matt 10:34-40,

Luk 14:26-27

26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

27 And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

Let me take an explanation from column-difficultsayings@studylight.org , edition 12-18 October 2003, to explain Luke 14:26-27;

“In this context the word "hate" does not carry the meaning it normally has in English usage, but seems to be used in a Hebraic sense. In Hebrew "hate" can also mean, "love less" or "put in second place." For example, Genesis 29:31 states that Leah was "hated," but the context indicates that Leah was not unloved but rather loved less than Jacob’s other wife Rachel. Note that the preceding verse specifically says that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah.

A second illustration of this particular Hebraic shade of meaning of the word "hate" is found in Deuteronomy 21:15: "If a man has two wives, one loved and the other hated…." Here too, the context shows that the "hated" wife is only second in affection and not really hated in the English sense of the word. Likewise in Jesus’ statement, he was saying that whoever did not love him more than his own family or even his own self could not be his disciple. “

Every man in this world, deep in their heart, want to be love, want to be appreciate by someone else – at least by the people who closed to them. – When this not happen, and they will feel jealous, angry and it will rise a conflict in their life.

Jesus not just a Great Comforter for our soul, but He also can be a Confronter. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mean Jesus is the source of the conflict or the confrontation. Jesus confronts something in us that is not right. He talked about “love” (Matt. 10:37), which in 1 John 2:5, talks about do what is righteousness/truth. There is something in our heart that is not right before God’s eyes, and without confrontation we can’t see it clearly.

If Jesus is not the source of conflict, and what is the source of conflict?

They are:

1. Interests

Interests can be the primarily cause of conflict around us. For example: The Eternal Conflict between Jesus and Devil (John 10:10). Thief (devil) has an interest in what we have but Jesus has an interest in what we are. This different interest can raise a conflict!

Different interest can be a result of:

- Benefits (Matt 19:27; Mark 11:17-18)

- Goal, or purpose. Ex.: Sarah and Hagar (Gen. 21:9-10)

- Need. Ex.: Bartimaeus and the crowds (Mark 10:46-52)

- Power. Ex.: Miriam, Aaron and Moses (Num. 12:1-2)

- Possession. Ex.: Esau and Jacob (Gen. 27:41)

2. Value

Value is something that we believe as a ‘standard judgment’ for what is right and wrong, what is importance and what is not, and what is worth and what is not. (of course this definition is just my own definition).

Yes, everyone has their own judgment about others based on their own value. And because those differences of value, conflict can be arise.

Conflict because of differences in conflict can be recognizing by a saying like this: “I don’t feel good to …”, or, “That’s not the way it should be”, or, “I don’t have peace with my consciousness”, or something like that.