Circle Core Series

Circle Check

Pt. 1 - Circle Core

I. Introduction

Circles are everywhere. Roadways, signs, coins, cups, headlights, taillights, logos, jewelry . . . circles surround. When you get right down to it ... circles is another way to describe relationships. We begin to circle up at a young age. On the playground we gravitate to certain people. We mature and what we call these circles changes. We call them our tribe, our crowd, our people, our dawgs, our peeps, our homies, our ride or die. Still, they are circles. We are taught that there is safety in circles. There is strength in numbers. We are told to circle the wagons in times of danger. We are encouraged to partner swim. We are drawn to the stories about circles. 3 Musketeers, Friends, Seinfeld.

It appears that we instinctively know that whoever is in our circle determines our course and that our friends determine our future. We acknowledge that we will be who we are at the end of the year except for the books we read and the people we hang out with. We would agree that those close matter most. Out of this instinctive knowledge we begin to circle up.

We even approach church this way. Knowing that the writer of Hebrews contends that we should assemble, gather and draw strength from one another we walk in the doors and although aware that we are part of a larger group even in here we circle up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact, in Scripture, we quickly discover circles. The triune God - God, Son, Holy Spirit circle in relationship. David had a circle of men and then an inner circle of mighty men. Jesus had a circle of 70, 12 and ultimately 3. One of my favorite statements about Jesus and His circle is Mark 3:14. We are told that He called 12 men to follow Him because "He wanted them to be with him"! This passage reveals the need and desire of God Himself to have close knit relationships!

We know we need a circle. Everyone here knows deep down that you need other people in your life! So, I don't believe the issue is knowing we need a circle. Instead, I believe the issue and the struggle we will face in this year is most of us don't know how a circle is supposed to function. Therefore, we either never fully tap into or harness the benefit of a circle or we exit or sabotage the circle available to us because we are unwilling to pay the price of transparency, vulnerability and submit to accountability that is necessary for the circle to be meaningful. The result is we either suffer in isolation while we call it independence, or we hop in and out of circles, groups, or churches looking for fruit that we so desperately desire and even envy. However, we never recognize that this fruit can only be obtained and secured through intentional and long-term investment of time. So, in time of need, distress, pain we blame everyone who doesn't respond for being shallow or uncaring or we silently wonder why our relationships lack the roots necessary to sustain us.

So, I began to question if, as we were challenged to do in January last year, we graduate from "me to we" then what does the "we" do? Why is the "we" important? Why can’t I get by with just me? What is the "we" supposed to provide for me and what am I supposed to provide for the "we"? The answers to these questions are how we are going to spend the first weeks of this year. Why is this an important discussion?

If we don’t understand how a circle is supposed to function, then we will accept dysfunction as normal which leads to abuse, abandonment, and unrealistic and unmet expectation. If function isn’t known, then misuse is inevitable. If we know function, we then have appropriate expectations and demands. There are some things we should expect from our circle and if the circle doesn't provide these things, then we must either demand and develop it in the circle or we need to do a circle check to determine if it may be time for a circle change.

Remember . . . your future is determined in large part by who is next to you and around you during your journey.

I began to look at this and discovered that in the New Testament the answers to these questions are plainly given. The answers are given in "one another" statements. Statement after statement dealing with how our circle is supposed to function. In fact, if you take out negative statements and the statement "greet one another with a holy kiss" there are 59 different "one another" statements giving us circle coaching. Then at closer examination, I discovered that all of these statements can be clustered into 6 components wrapped around one core component.