Boogie Wonderland Series

The DANCE July 23, 2006

Church – Boogie Wonderland

Funny: This prim and proper lady was planning to go on a vacation to a nice campground in Florida. As she made her plans she began to worry about the restroom facilities, so she decided to write a letter to the campground to inquire if the campground was fully equipped. Problem was that she didn’t know quite how to ask about the “toilet” facilities. Being so proper, she just couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter. After much deliberation, she came up w/ the old fashioned term “Bathroom Commode,” but when she wrote it down she still thought it was too forward. So she started over again; rewrote the entire letter and referred to the “Bathroom Commode” as the “B.C.” Well, the campground owner wasn’t old fashioned at all, and when he got the letter, he couldn’t figure out what the lady was talking about. That “B.C.” really stumped him. After worrying about it for several days, he showed the letter to other campers, and they all came to the conclusion that the lady wanted to know about the location of the local Baptist Church. So the owner sat down and wrote the following reply: “Dear Madam: I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure of informing in that the “B.C.” is located nine miles north of the camp site and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along, and make a day of it… They usually arrive early and stay late. The last time my wife and I went was 6 years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now, there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats. They plan to hold the supper in the middle of the B.C., so everyone can watch and talk about this great event. I’d like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely not for lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to be more and more of an effort, particularly in cold weather. If you decide to come down to the campground, perhaps I could go w/ you the first time you go ... sit w/ you ... and introduce you to all the other folks. This is really a very friendly community.

Trans: I can only imagine what the woman thought when she received the letter, but can you imagine the crisis of identity? Truth is, many churches are in the midst of an identity crisis – they neither know who they are, what they are doing, or where they are going. The is experiencing a crisis of identity.

• Scooby Do Church – the church that seems to always have a mysterious problem that needs to be solved.

• Tasmanian Devil – the church that is so busy that it spins out-of-control churning up everything in its path.

• Charlie Brown - this is the church w/ low self-esteem that always scared that they’re going to fail. They can’t seem to get it right.

• Peter Pan Church – the church that lives in a fantasy world of Never, Neverland. It refuses to grow up, take responsibility, and face reality.

• Wylie Coyote Church – the church that is fixated on chasing after the unobtainable. They always seemed to get stuck on a single task.

• Foghorn Leghorn Church – the self-righteous, smug church where the people think their way is always the right way and the better way.

• Fred Flintstone Church – the church that is stuck in the stone age that is unwilling to change to make way for the future.

• The Smurf Church – the church that refuses accept outsiders b/c they are different. They’re almost cultic they are so closed to outsiders.

• The Tom and Jerry Church – the fickle church where the people can’t decide whether they like each other or not. One moment their friends working together and the next moment they are trying to kill each other.

• The Chicken Little Church – the sky is falling church where people are consumed w/ the threat of the unknown.

Note: The question is of which church are you a member? Let me assure you, when Jesus gave His H.S. to start the church, He never planned for it to be a joke! In fact, He had a specific picture in mind of a group of believers sharing their lives to know God together, to encourage one another, and to share Jesus w/ others.