Are You Fit To Be Tied? Part Iii

This book teaches us many things about marriage. One has to do with communication. This is a problem in many marriages these days. Some...

(1) Do not talk enough.

(2) Talk too much.

Illus: One wife said, "What's the idea? You yawned seven times while I was talking to you. " He said, "I did not, I tried seven times to say something and could not because you would not stop talking!"

Illus: The story is told of a woman who always had to get the last word in. Her husband was always frustrated because she always managed to get it in no matter what. One day when his frustration was to the breaking point he had a heart attack. He was at the point of death when she appeared on the scene fussing and talking non-stop. He knew if he would ever have a chance to get the last word in, this would be the time, right before he took his last breath. For years he had wanted to tell her exactly what he thought of her. He timed it just right. He did not hold back. He said all he had to say and when he finished he died. The wife was furious. She had no way to get the last word. After he was buried she became furious again when she saw engraved on his tombstone, "Rest in Peace." That was the last thing she wished for him! She insisted it be changed but was told that it had to remain on the stone. She said, "Well, I want you to add these words under "Rest in Peace," "Until we meet again!"

(3) Some do not express themselves in such a way that the marriage partner can clearly understand what they are saying.

Illus: A lady went to a lawyer and said, "My husband wants to divorce me.” The lawyer said, "Does he have a complaint?" She said, "Yes he has a camcorder.”

The lawyer said, "No, I don't mean that. Does he have any grounds?" The woman said, "Yes, he has five acres.”

The lawyer said to the lady, "What is the problem?" The lady said, *My husband says we can't communicate!"

All across this nation lack of communication erodes the foundation of marriages. There is absolutely nothing that will destroy a marriage like poor communication. Proverb 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." Also we read in I Peter 3:10, "For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile." You can talk to marriage counselors around the world and they will tell you that one of the major problems in marriages is communication.

The Song of Solomon is the love story of King Solomon and the Shulamite girl. This love story has every ingredient that teaches any couple how to communicate. Let us eaves drop on their conversation and see four things that will help every couple here today. Notice...

I. THEIR WORDS ARE PLENTIFUL.

Married people should talk to each other. As we read through the book of Solomon, we see that King Solomon and the Shulamite girl's words to each other are PLENTIFUL, but we are not necessarily talking here about people who just love to hear themselves talk.

Illus: One man told his friend, "Your wife sure is outspoken!" The friend said, "By who?"

Illus: A man who had been accused of never staying home told his preacher one day, "Preacher, I get tired of her talking all the time. From the time I get home she starts yakking. When I finally can not take it any more I go to bed. Then she yaks on the telephone until midnight to someone else." He added, "That is the reason I do not like to stay home. She won't stop talking!"

Illus: Some husbands feel like the man who called the doctor to report, "Doc, my wife has just dislocated her jaw. If you happen to be in the neighborhood in the next few weeks would you mind dropping by. There's no big hurry...”

Illus: Astronaut Mike Collins estimated that in an average day a man speaks 25,000 words, and in that same time a woman speaks 30,000. He said, "The problem is, when I get home I have spoken my 25,000 words and my wife hasn't spoken any of hers....”

In the Song of Solomon they did not yak just because they loved to YAK. They talked to each other because they loved to TALK TO EACH OTHER. They spoke a lot to each other. In fact, 60% of this book consists of what those lovers spoke to each other. For a marriage to survive a couple must TALK PLENTY TO EACH OTHER. Here is the problem. Before marriage, lovers talk to each other. The man talks to his love about the things she loves to talk about. The woman talks to her love about the things he loves to talk about. But, after marriage things change: