A Safe Place To Come Close

Last week we started with the dilemma of two porcupines on a very cold night, who needed to snuggle up close to each other to stay warm. But the closer they got the more they pricked each other with their quills, so they pulled apart. But the more they pulled apart, the colder they got. So it was a very frustrating night of back and forth, coming closer and then backing away.

Unfortunately that is a paradigm for many human relationships as well. We have a deep need to come close to other humans. We are deeply social beings. We are made for love. But when we do dare to come close, we often hurt each other. And so there is this constant dance, meeting together, planning together, talking together, but always carefully guarding the distance to be sure we are safe, in and out, in and out.

How can two porcupines come close together? I can’t speak from experience because I have never squeezed into a close space with a porcupine before, and never want to. But if I did, all I can say is, I would want to do it ‘very carefully.’ How can a whole church full of people make a place that is safe to come together? Very carefully. We want relationships. We know the church is strengthened by relationships. But we’re scared, and rightly so. Healthy, safe relationships don’t just happen. If you don’t build your relationships carefully, you can really get burned. So we want to be very careful to make them safe.

And so today we come back to look again at Paul’s instructions for how the church can be truly united, from Ephesians 4:1-6. Please stand for the reading of God’s word.

1 I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.

Paul starts out “begging” the Christians in Ephesus to live a life worth of the calling they have received. And that calling comes from the one God who exists in perpetual love, love extended back and forth among the three persons of the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And if we are going to demonstrate that kind of life of love to the world, then we need to make every effort to maintain that unity which is within the Trinity and which he has given us in the Spirit. He has provided everything we need to be truly united. It’s our job to live it out. We are doing what we are supposed to do when we love each other and come close to each other in the church.

And Paul lists several traits that will be essential parts of fulfilling that calling: humility, gentleness, forbearance, love and unity.

Today I want to just get us started by talking about humility and gentleness as the beginnings of building a safe place to come together. And really I’m mostly going to talk about humility, but once humility is in place, gentleness follows naturally, and the others will come much more easily.

How important are these two, humility and gentleness? When Jesus invited people to follow him, he picked out two traits in himself to describe himself to them. He said, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jesus was gentle and humble. He’s our model.

How about a church full of people who are gentle and humble deep in their hearts? Doesn’t that make your soul feel rested, just thinking about it? Would it be safe to really come close in a church like that? Even if we only mastered these first two traits, humility and gentleness, it would be a joy to come close together.

Our calling is to be like Jesus, humble and gentle. Just as Paul begged the Ephesians to commit themselves to these traits, I beg each and every one of us to covenant together to be a church which would be described as humble and gentle.

But what does it mean to be humble? Let’s start with one thing that humble does not mean. Humble does not mean putting yourself down all the time. Humble does not mean that you hide the gifts that God has given you, putting your light under a bushel.