A Father & His Family Series

Failure of parents to obey this can cause children to become discouraged/lose heart. The idea of that term is “to be without courage, or spirit.” It has the sense of being listless, sullen, discouraged, or despairing. Parents can take the heart out of their children by failing to discipline them lovingly and instruct them in the ways of the Lord with balance. Constant nagging produces a situation where children are discouraged either because they cannot please those they love or because they feel they are of no worth to anybody. (Melick, R. R. (1991). Philippians, Colossians, Philemon (Vol. 32, p. 315). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.) The opposite of parenting that leads a child to become discouraged/lose heart is to have the kind of fatherhood which gives hope instead of discouragement; and gives happiness instead of discouragement; and gives confidence and courage. (Piper, J. (2007). Sermons from John Piper (1980–1989). Minneapolis, MN: Desiring God.)

• The most tragic stories of girls going into prostitution or boys joining gangs often seem to revolve around absent fathers. If we lament about the continual falling of societal morality and increased violence, then we need to look no further than the home. When Mothers and Fathers both step up and fulfilll their God ordained roles, then these are the tools that God uses to transform a home, community, society and world. Before we lament as to what is happening “out there”, we need to look at what is happening “in here”. As a church community, through adoption, and mentorship we can be the fathers and mothers to those who one reason or another lack this person in their lives.

Poem: The influence parents have in the lives of their children has been summed up in a perspective by Dorothy Law Nolte entitled “Children Learn What They Live”: "If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence. If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world". (Dorothy Law Nolte entitled “Children Learn What They Live”. Copyright 1982.)

For the most part, children do not create problems; they reveal them. Parents who cannot discipline themselves cannot discipline their children. If a father and mother are not under authority themselves, they cannot (properly) exercise authority over others. It is only as parents submit to each other and to the Lord that they can exercise properly balanced spiritual and physical authority over their children (Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (Vol. 2, p. 143). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.).

(Format Note: Outline & some base commentary from MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1992). Colossians (pp. 167–172). Chicago: Moody Press.)