A Christian Marriage

A Christian Marriage

I read an interesting article saying the younger generation is looking more positively at marriage than those even a decade ago. That is good, and it reminded me that two-thirds of you are married and at least some of the rest of you have thoughts about marriage so I believe there is a need to revisit what God has ordained. First, listen to what Jesus said about marriage.

Matthew 19:3-6, “Some Pharisees came to him, and to test him they asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?’ He answered, ‘Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,”’ and said, ‘for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? Therefore, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

The Pharisees were trying to separate the sexual union from the other responsibilities that are parts of married life. Jesus reminded the Pharisees that God made marriage spiritually binding. His words proclaim that a man and wife are to be regarded as a single organism, “one flesh”. Just as a lock and key are one mechanism; just as a violin and a bow are one instrument; just as a book and its cover are one, so too are a husband and wife. Think about it.

God Almighty, the creator of humanity, declared that two halves, the male and the female, He made to be joined together, not simply at a sexual level, but totally combined in all aspects of their life. “One flesh” vividly expresses a view of marriage as something much deeper than a social convention. Becoming “one flesh” is a process of things not alike coming together as part of God’s great work in marriage; the work of sanctifying. The physical union (the sexual), and all of the other kinds of union that God intended to go with it, make up a total union. Marriage represents the entire man and the entire woman in a unity of soul, of body, of mind, of emotion, of interest, and of purpose.

The Christian attitude does not mean that there is anything wrong with sexual pleasure, any more than with the pleasure of eating delicious food. It means that we must not isolate that pleasure and try to get it by itself, any more than we ought to separate food from good tastes, sleep from sound rests, and smell from pleasant odors. Consequently, God expects man and woman to honor what He has joined and to keep the marriage together. Christianity teaches that marriage is for life.

It is interesting and informative to look at the marriage process as was practiced by the Jews in the time of Christ for a number of Jesus parables involve marriage, its process and rituals. Jewish marriages went through several stages, each with its own significance and rituals. The first step, when a young man wished to wed a young woman, he would first speak to his parents. The parents would arrange a social visit with the brides’ parents. Upon entering the home of the brides’ parents, the parents would engage in light conversation, and at the right moment, the groom would reveal the purpose of the visit. He would propose a bride price for the woman he wished to marry. The fathers would then negotiate and ultimately agreed upon by a price. The brides’ father saw this as compensation for the years of care and resources invested in raising his daughter. Typically, the father would negotiate for the highest amount he believed the groom could manage. Once both sides reached a satisfactory agreement, the groom and his future bride began their betrothal when the groom would address the bride with the words, “I am now going to prepare a place for you.” They then shared a cup of wine symbolically solidifying the beginning of their marital covenant.

Next was a waiting period. The groom would return home and commence the construction of a bridal chamber intended for their honeymoon. This could involve either the creation of a modest dwelling apart from his father’s home or the renovation of a room within the family house. During this time, the couple lived separately. The betrothal was legally binding requiring a formal divorce should the two wish to dissolve their betrothal.

The bridal chamber needed to be stunning and could take as long as a year to complete. Periodically, the groom’s father would take time look it over and make suggestions for he was responsible to determine when the chamber was satisfactory. Once the groom had provided a home, he had to fill it with enough supplies to last a week as that was the duration of the honeymoon.