A Christian Interpretation Of Sex In Marriage (Part 2) Series

Compiled by: Herman Abrahams (Pastor), Cornerstone Faith Ministries, P.O. Box 740, Westridge 7802, Rep. of South Africa.

E-Mail: Mentorship2003@yahoo.co.uk

Note to the reader:

If you have been blessed with this sermon compilation, I would be honoured to receive an e-mail from you merely telling me where in the world you are based- I do not need any other information. This is merely so that I can have the pleasure of giving thanks to Almighty God that all over the globe the ministry which he has entrusted to me, is blessing the body of Christ and helping to extend the Kingdom of God. Thank you. Herman Abrahams, Cape Town, South Africa.

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A CHRISTIAN INTERPRETATION OF SEX IN MARRIAGE (PART 2)

(A) THE NEW TESTAMENT ON LOVEMAKING

1 Cor 7: 2-5 (NIV) 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

There are three central principles taught in this passage concerning lovemaking. Bible teachers have called them: the principle of NEED; the principle of AUTHORITY; and the principle of HABIT.

1. THE PRINCIPLE OF NEED

Both husband and wife have sexual needs and drives that should be fulfilled in marriage. Scripture tell us, not as a suggestion but as a command, to meet our mate’s sexual needs. When husband and wife take hold of this concept and unselfishly begin to do everything they can to meet their partner’s need, they are sure to develop an exciting relationship. Husband and wife have a DUTY to meet one another’s sexual needs.

2. THE PRINCIPLE OF AUTHORITY

When we marry, we relinquish the sole right to our body. ‘Both husband and wife have conjugal rights and exclusive possession of the other in this area’ (NIV Study Bible Notes, electronic ed.). After the wedding day the partners quickly learn that one of the easiest ways to hurt our mate is to withhold our physical affection. We do not have this right! The wife’s body no longer belongs to her alone but also to her husband and the husband’s body no longer belongs to him alone but also to his wife (vs 4). This means that we must love our mate’s body and care for it as our own. With this understanding in mind we will appreciate the fact that we cannot make unreasonable demands on our partner.

3. THE PRINCIPLE OF HABIT

Both partners are forbidden to deprive the mate by abstaining from the habit of sex, except by mutual consent for a brief period of time (vs 5). If we break this command of God and defraud our partner by withholding habitual sexual lovemaking, we will surely open our marriage to satanic temptations (vs 5). God knows this and that is why He tells us to participate actively and regularly in sex with our own mate (vs 2-3). This is an inherent part of the love-life of marriage.

Eugene H. Petersen in “The Message” describes it as follows:

‘It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting – but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it’.

(B) A LANGUAGE TO BE LEARNED

Is there such a thing as working at sex? I believe there is. Sex is not doing what comes naturally. That may be true of animals. But we are concerned not with the mere releasing of tension but with a means of communication in which each partner has the duty to fulfill the sexual desire of the other. This requires sensitivity and skill in the art of lovemaking. It is a language to be learnt.