Love Is Not Rude Series

The ship Tecumseh was engaged in a battle with the ship Tennessee. A torpedo struck the

Tecumseh and it began to sink immediately. Out of a crew of 114 men, 93 went down with the

ship because it sank so fast. Tunis Craven was the Commander and at the time the torpedo

struck he was in the tiny pilothouse with the pilot. Both ran for the small opening in the

pilothouse but only one could pass at a time. Craven stood back and said, "You first, sir."

The pilot escaped, but Craven went down with the ship. Courtesy was extremely costly in

that particular situation, and the natural response is to think it was foolish. Even Christians

do not place that high a value on being courteous, but that is due to the fact that we seldom

consider the value of polite behavior for the kingdom of God.

We are fully aware of the eternal dividends to be gained by a life invested in following

Jesus, but we seldom realize the potential gains to be made for both time and eternity by

being courteous and polite. In other words, we do not bring out Christianity down into the

practical level of everyday behavior. Agape love is segregated and reserved for special

occasions only.

A survey of employees who were dismissed by 76 firms showed that only 10% lost their

jobs because they lacked mechanical skill. The other 90% lost their jobs because of bad

manners. A rude person who is not courteous and polite is a liability in every area of life. But

one who has these qualities is always an asset. Therefore, a Christian has an obligation to be

courteous, even if the Bible had nothing to say about the issue. The Bible does, however,

have much to say about it because it is directly linked to agape love. Paul tells us in v. 5 that

love is not rude. Phillips has it, "Love has good manners." Berkeley has it, "It is not

conceited or unmannerly."

We could generalize and say that whatever is socially offensive is behavior which is

incompatible with agape love. A Christian who is filled with this fruit of the Spirit will not be

offensive because of personal ill behavior. His beliefs may be offensive to others, but his

attitudes and manners are to be above reproach it he is to be a true channel of God's agape

love. Beauty and charm are to characterize Christian conduct. This beauty of the soul is far

more significant than beauty of the body. Fleshly beauty is a matter of chance, but spiritual

beauty is a matter of choice. Every Christian has an obligation of God and man to be

beautiful of soul by not behaving in an offensive manner. Those filled with the Spirit will be

truly ladies and gentlemen.

Dr. Buckingham once said, "Wendel Phillips is the most beautiful person I eve saw...what

I mean by beauty is his grace of character, his kindly generous manners, his brightness of

mind, and his perfect purity and whiteness of soul." Every Christian should strive to fit that

description. There are people who are proud of their offensive manners. I have heard many

people say with a tone of pride, "I say just what I think, and I don't care who it is or who it

hurts." This is supposedly a superior quality of character in comparison to the silent

sufferer who doesn't strike back when his toes are stepped on, but according to the highest

standard for Christian conduct, it is an inferior quality of character. In fact, it is

incompatible with agape love, for agape love does not behave in such a proud conceited

unmannerly way. Hilaire Belloc wrote,

Of Courtesy, it is much less

Than Courage of Heart of Holiness,

Yet in my walks it seems to me

That the grace of God is in Courtesy.

The Christian must realize that all of his life is to be lived decently and in order, and not

just during a church business meeting. No Christian ever has the right to be disrespectful,

vulgar, or embarrassing to either a brother in Christ, or an unbeliever. When we do it, it is

because we are not filled with the Spirit, and, therefore, not expressing agape love. Like the

Corinthians we often fail to shape up and live in the perfect form of loveliness.

These clumsy feet, still in the mire,

Go crushing blossoms without end,

These hard, well-meaning hands we thrust

Among the heart-strings of a friend.

Author unknown

In relation to the unbeliever agape love makes the Christian care what other people think,

and not so much about you, but about the Christ you claim to love and follow. The Christian

guided by love is cautious in the means he uses to gain his end. If he is rude and impolite, and