A Word Of Exhortation To Husbands Series

1. This week it’s the GUY’S TURN in learning God’s heart for the marriage relationship.

a. God does have direction for the institution He invented.

b. Marriage is a work of God! He designed it. He develops it.

c. So it’s a blessing to look to Him for the help & strength we need to flourish in our marriages.

Pastor Peter gives us wonderful counsel for our marriages.

• He sheds light on the roles God has given us and remember…

• This counsel was given in light of DIFFICULT TIMES.

• It might change your perspective a little to see that even in difficult times, God’s heart doesn’t change.

• Marriage is a partnering together in Jesus to stand strong not only when things are easy but also when things are tough!

Ecc. 4.9-12 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

HUSBANDS… the solution in your marriage is not another woman.

• The Bible says you don’t need another woman, you just need to learn how to love the one He gave you.

• TO love her. TO cherish her. To dwell with her. To understand her needs. To meet those needs.

• Your FIRST ministry is the wife God gave you: So v7 reads…

I. (3:7) GIVING HONOR

1. (7) Giver Her Honor!

a. Wives don’t get tripped up w/ weaker vessel’!!!

b. Your natural reaction could easily be I’M NOT WEAKER!

c. I’m not LESS than he is.

d. But the reality is MEN & WOMEN are different!

e. This isn’t a statement of VALUE it’s one of UNDERTANDING.

APP: Husbands, here’s what Peter is telling us…

• Cherish your wives, treasure them, give them honor

• The Original language here means PRECIOUS.

• So he’s saying give her honor as a precious vessel. OR

• DON’T TAKE HER FOR GRANTED, DON’T ABUSE HER verbally, physically, any way. DON’T MISUSE your precious wife.

• She’s not the same as you!

• Guys, your wife is a woman, not ANOTHER GUY!

NOTE: A lot times wives feel like their husbands don’t understand them because they get treated like one of the guys.

• Recognize there is a difference. WELL I KNOW THAT ED!

• Yes, but not just a gender difference, but a real difference with different needs, wants, desires, ways of looking at things.

• It means we have to be less & less the man that will FIX IT!

• “just tell me what it is honey & I have the solution!”

• NO, NO, but more & more the type of man that stops & listens & prays before just reacting and jumping in with some solution!

• Someone actually studied the different needs displayed by the husband and the wife. Talk about different!

Five Major Needs of Women

1. Affection, 2. Conversation,

3. Honesty & openness, 4. Financial support, 5. Family commitment.

Five Major Needs of Men

1. Sexual fulfillment, 2. Recreational companionship,

3. An attractive spouse, 4. Help At Home, 5. Admiration.

His Needs, Her Needs, quoted in C. Swindoll, The Grace Awakening, Word, 1990, p. 256

• Of course these things vary but they are so different!

• That’s what makes marriage so interesting as God brings together 2 completely different people & makes them one!

BUT when our home lives are filled with turmoil & discord, it really makes for the breeding ground of destruction.

• The devil knows the Word and believes it…

Mark 3.25 "And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.

SO I believe the enemy wants to so distract the husband, and so isolate the wife… that a little division begins.

• Then he adds some turmoil, a dumb insignificant fight, some bickering, some discouragement, a little loneliness.

• & before you know it, you’re not the family God wants U to be!

• And we so quickly become a family in danger of destruction unless we repent & turn to the Lord!

NOTE: Marie & I have noticed a trend over the years.

• It seems like right when God is ready to do something wonderful, something marvelous in our lives… something stupid happens!

• A little argument over dirty clothes. A little disagreement on what to do with the kids. A little tiff over something small!

• We began to see a pattern that things would happen between us to divide us either as the Lord was wanting to do something OR just AFTER the Lord did a wonderful thing!