A Tough Act To Follow Series

OPENING

SENTENCE: A rather common but not recommended comment you might hear from a frustrated parent is, “Why can’t you be more like your older brother?”

INTRODUCTION: Needless to say, it is intended to motivate the child to try harder and give him/her a model of what proper behavior should look like. To the child, it means that you don’t match up and should change. But, the universal presence of sibling rivalry that suggests it probably does more to create resentment than it does to motivate the errant child.

Now let’s take that to the extreme. Imagine if you are James, the younger brother of Jesus. Can you imagine growing up with the perfect older brother- the one who smarter than you, who never did anything wrong and who is better than you in any way that really counts? Let’s hope Mary never said to James, “Why can’t you be like your older brother?” because she knew full well who Jesus was. The fact is no one can meet that standard- it is too high. And, I can imagine that sibling rivalry did come into play. The fact that James was not a follower of Jesus until after the resurrection suggested some sibling resentment may have been present in his early year.

TRANSITION

SENTENCE: Sometimes I feel that is what God is saying to us.

TRANSITION: He says to us, “Look at my Son Jesus and emulate Him.” And most of us come away thinking, “Man, there is nothing like setting the bar high.” Let’s face it Jesus is the Son of God. He is perfect in every respect. So, how we can also be like Him?

In today’s passage, we are going to see that the model we men are called to follow is revealed in how Jesus loved the church. Now I don’t know about you, but for me but that is a tough act to follow and if my wife’s role in marriage were contingent upon how well I emulate Jesus’ example then I would be in a world of hurt. Frankly, I don’t match up. And the evidence is pretty clear that all of us are in a world of hurt when we look at the state of marriage in North America. The state of marriage is as bad as it has ever been- if not worse.

SAY WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY: But, by having Jesus as our model it gives us something to frame our understanding of how marriage should work if the ideal was lived out in our relationships. Without it, we have an incomplete standard to measure things by. This morning we are going to look closer at that model and ask, “How is the husband to love his wife?” We will find that we are to love as Jesus loved the church and as we love our own bodies and to be exclusively devoted to her.

TEXT: Ephesians 5:25-33

THEME: The husband is to love His wife as Christ loved the church.

How is the husband to love his wife?

I. As Christ loved the Church. (25-28)

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

A. He sacrificed his life for her. This is the component that is missed in far too many marriages. The theme of this series is that an iWorld marriage is about me, my fulfillment, my satisfaction, having my needs and wants met as though marriage is a consumer product. Our culture makes individual freedom, autonomy, and fulfillment the very highest values. None of these promote healthy relationships. Deep down inside we know that any love relationship means the loss of all three. Christ exemplifies for us what real love is by dying on the cross for his flawed imperfect bride who did not merit his love. That is the nature of real love.

B. His first objective was to make her holy. Notice why he died- to make her holy- to make her better. The emphasis is not so much on her happiness but on the far more important issue which is her spiritual state before God. Holiness will provide happiness far more than if we try to pursue happiness apart from holiness. The pursuit of holiness should be first.

We also have this absurd notion in our culture that everything is about making everyone happy. We hear it all the time, “I am okay with it as long as it makes you happy”, or, “I only want to make you happy!” That is an impossible task. You cannot make a person happy. Happiness can be a fleeting emotion. Lasting happiness is a state of contentment the individual can only attain by having certain traits that come from a proper perspective. Paul expresses that perspective in Philippians 4 where he learned to content no matter what the circumstances. It is more accurate to say, “Because I love you I want to do the things that please you and express my love in ways that you can understand- and sometimes in ways that you might not understand. But my greater desire is that you be holy. I will do what is best for you- not for my benefit but yours, and ultimately we both benefit in our one flesh union”.