Loneliness (Part 3) Series

Illustration: Robert, a lonely grandfather, meets 80-year-old Martha at a nursing home. Robert likes her. One night he came to Martha's room and proposed to her. When he woke up in the morning, he forgot whether Martha said "yes" or "no" when asked to marry him. Embarrassed, he came to Martha's room again and asked Martha's answer last night. Martha shyly said, "When I woke up this morning, I remembered someone proposed to me last night. But I forgot who he was." I hope that tomorrow when you wake up from sleep, you will not forget the word of God that I preach today.

Today we will finish our sermon series on "Loneliness." We will look at the factors that can cause loneliness and how to deal with them. According to Dr. Leonard Zunin, a Los Angeles psychiatrist, humankind's biggest problem is loneliness. Mother Teresa said, "Loneliness is the most terrible type of poverty." On his sixty-fifth birthday, the science fiction author H. G. Wells said, "I am lonely, and have never found peace." The great English poet John Milton reminded us that loneliness is the first thing God said was not good. He is right. Genesis 2:18 states, "It is not good that the man should be alone." Last Sunday, we have learned that we don't need to feel lonely as children of God because first, we have God. Our God is Immanuel; Jesus and Holy Spirit dwells in us. Second, we have a spiritual family in Christ through His local church. Sadly, some Christians still feel lonely.

Loneliness is terrible for our health. Dr. Richard S. Schwartz, a Cambridge psychiatrist who has studied the problem of loneliness in America, notes that over four decades of studies have shown the devastating consequences of loneliness. Loneliness has been linked to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke and the progression of Alzheimer's. One study found that it can be as much of a long-term risk factor as smoking. In 2015, extensive research using data from 3.5 million people collected over 35 years found that those who fall into the categories of loneliness, isolation, or even simply living on their own see their risk of premature death rise 26 to 32 percent. But Schwartz also concludes that many people have a hard time admitting that they are lonely. He says, "Admitting you are lonely feels very much like admitting you're a loser. Psychiatry has worked hard to de-stigmatize things like depression, and to a large part it has been successful. People are comfortable saying they're depressed. But they're not comfortable saying they're lonely, because you're like the kid sitting alone in the cafeteria." (Adapted from Billy Baker, "The Biggest Threat Facing Middle-Aged Men Isn't Smoking Or Obesity. It's Loneliness.").

According to researchers and psychologists, there are six causes of loneliness:

1. Social causes. We live in a community and era where efficiency, productivity, and convenience have become more critical. There is less time for developing deep satisfying relationships. As a result, relationships are shallow. Fourteen years ago, Gary Collins, a Christian psychologist, wrote some factors contributing to social isolation: technology, TV, mobility, and changing demographics and lifestyles. With all of our advances in science and technology, we are much lonelier today than people were in past generations. TV, computers, games, cellphones - all of this technology - has not made us happier. It has made us lonelier. Albert Einstein said, "It has become as self-evident that our technology has exceeded our humanity." Columnist Ann Landers has said, "Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other." People put on the television and cellphones hour after hour. We no longer sit down and have a meal together as friends or as a family. We have almost forgotten how to have a conversation. We are too busy with our gadgets to talk to each other on a meaningful level! People plug a wire into their ears and pump music into their brains. So, what should we do? We should accept modern gadgets, but as I said last week, we must know how to use them sufficiently. They shouldn't replace our intimate fellowship with God and meaningful relationship with others.

The Bible tells us why the early church was so strong amidst social pressure and persecution. Let's read Acts 2:42-47 – "They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." Christians who spend time with God and attend a church with a fellowship like the early church will be strong and free from loneliness.