: Three Important Factors Of A Healthy Relationship Series

INTRO: This morning we are continuing our look through the Song of Songs. Just in way of review for those who were not here the last couple of weeks:

Solomon lives in the 10th century. He’s the richest king in Israel’s history. He’s out looking over his vineyards when he meets a country girl, Shulamith. She captures the king’s heart. For some time the king pursues her and makes periodic visits to see her.

Solomon asks her to marry him. Shulamith gives serious consideration and she accepts. We learned about the concept of attraction.

-Men: your name, your character is far more important than your appearance.

-Ladies: what is more important than your appearance is your servant hood, your obedience to authority.

-Have a set of standards, won’t settle for anything less.

Last week we learned:

-That a relationship takes time

-There needs to be respect

-Looked at how love grows (it is a choice not a feeling)

TITLE: Three Important Factors of A Healthy Relationship

TEXT: Song of Songs 2:8-17

This morning I want to talk about three important things that help make a healthy relationship. I. The First Important Factor that Makes Up A Healthy Relationship is – Excitement (v. 8-10)

A. Shulamith is very excited to see Solomon. Verse 8 – "Listen: My lover Look! Here he comes."

1. Shulamith is waiting in anticipation to see her lover.

-She is listening.

a. There is a difference between listening and hearing. H. Norman Wright says, "Listening is paying attention in order to hear, while hearing is the process of receiving sound."

THOUGHT: In a healthy relationship couples need to listen rather than just relying on their hearing.

2. She’s not only listening, but she is looking – longing for her lover to come to her. -She is keeping her eye out for him.

IDEA: This is where her whole focus is on. It’s on him. It’s like the father in the story of the prodigal son, the father sees him off in the distance and then runs out to meet him. (He sees him in the distance, longing for him to return).

B. Let’s look at Solomon – v. 8 – "Leaping across the mountains."

1. This man is excited to see his woman.

IDEA: That this journey may be long and even strenuous, but it’s not even hard because of his excitement to see his lover.

2. Ask a question: Men: are you so excited to see your wife that work seems simple because you are longing to get home to see her?

Ladies: Are you watching and listening, longing to see your husband walk through the door?

3. Guys, take a look at her perception of him – that he was like a gazelle or a young stag.

-These animals suggest speed and sexual virility.

-In other words, her perception of him was "he’s a hunk, a babe, a knock-out!" SUMMARY: So the first factor in a healthy relationship is excitement.

II. The Second Factor In a Healthy Relationship Is – Does Your Relationship Produce Life? – V. 10-14

A. Solomon wants to go out on a walk – the winter is past, the rains are over and gone. Flowers are here. The season of singing has come.

1. Spring is here – life is abounding everywhere.

-Just as springtime is a representation of life, so too, should our relationship within marriage produce life. I’m not speaking about having children, even though that is a part of marriage if the couple so desires.

2. I’m speaking about life coming into a marriage that was dormant while single.

-God has designed only certain things to bloom in the context of marriage. When you try to grow these flowers outside of marriage, you only have grown weeds.

Illustration: How many times have you witnessed singles begin to date and one was spiritual and godly and the other one was not. And as time went by, (they drop out of church, Bible study, stop reading their Bible, start to get promiscuous and they don’t have any desire to follow the Lord).

-Young people – Let me give you a gold nugget – I’ve watched for over 20 years one person in a relationship who is on fire for Jesus begins to hang out with someone who is not, and before long they begin to lose their excitement and enthusiasm for Jesus. In fact, you can sit back and watch their spiritual life get sucked right out of them.

-Why? Look at the traits of your kid’s close friends, that’s what your kids will become. You’ve heard it said, "Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future."

B. A godly relationship should draw you closer to Jesus not further from him.

1. Let me speak about a lie from the pit of hell many people believe. (It’s the idea - I can change someone).