Let God Help You Decide On A Spouse Series

The well-known novelist, C.S. Lewis once mused, “Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.” I could not agree more! Truly, love is what makes life worth living.

We know from reading the Bible that God cares about morals. The Old and New Testament both, brim with incredible principles of integrity for the home, business and community. But our God, who is love, is also touched by our personal lives! He cares deeply that we have our needs met. In fact, God is so compassionate He even longs for us to receive the very desires of our heart. God’s greatest gift to Adam was a loving spouse!

1. A Godly Spouse Brings the Greatest Comfort in This Life

God saw that Adam was alone and saw that it wasn’t good. So, obviously He said, “I’m going to bring someone into Adam’s life that’s going to be the best possible thing to solve his loneliness - a dog?” No! It is said that a dog is a man’s best friend and to be sure they can be a wonderful companion. But as wonderful as they are, they are still just an animal. God didn’t say, “Adam, it’s not good that you are alone so I’m going to bring you a son or a daughter.” Now truly, what could bring more joy in life than having a godly son or a virtuous daughter who shares the same blood? What could bring any greater satisfaction than that? And yet, as great as that is, God didn’t say I’m going to bring a child into your life. God also didn’t bring a parent, or sibling, or friend or mentor despite the many benefits of such relationships.

The one thing that God DID give to Adam was a woman...a wife. In that one person you have all of those things, and more, rolled into one package. When friendship is needed your wife is your best friend. When touch is needed your husband is there. When counsel is needed, it is your wife or husband that is your number one person to go to. When ministry is needed two can serve together in an amazing way. When care is needed a husband comes alongside his wife and a wife comes alongside her husband. What better possible thing could God have done than to have said, “I’m going to bless you Adam, and I’m going to bring someone perfectly suited for you.”

2. A Godly Spouse Brings Favor

“…and obtaineth favour of the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22).

Notice in this verse how that a godly mate brings “favor.” There are a number of ways in which our mate brings the blessing of heaven, but one big way is through growing Christ’s attitudes in us. Our marriage partner choice will become the “heavenly sand paper” that takes our rough edges off, but that is part of God’s favor. Grace, which is defined as God’s favor, comes to the humble (James 4:6). A mate can bring us to a point of great humility before the Lord as we cry out to God for a mate and perhaps even because of our mate. A husband or wife’s actions and attitudes can get into places in our soul that nobody else can and that’s why God uses a mate often to massage and soften our spirit. The favor of the Lord doesn’t come cheaply. God doesn’t just pour out His favor on us because we drive a certain car or have a certain color of skin or denominational name on our church…God pours favor on people who have plowed deeply into their soul of souls.

Maybe that’s what David meant when he basically said, “I’ve seen something amazing…goodness and mercy just keep favoring me wherever I go” (Psalm 23:6). Maybe that’s what he was meaning…perhaps he was looking at beautiful Abigail (his amazing wife) and said, “You have brought to me goodness and mercy all the days of my life…I can’t get away from the fact of how good the Lord has been to me.” God surely pours out his favor upon us by and through our mate.

5 Principles in Finding a Godly Husband or Wife:

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing…” (Proverbs 18:22).

It is very clear that God says that a mate has to be found. This suggests some very proactive steps are to be taken. As I was praying about this verse it seemed like the Holy Spirit said to me, “There’s no better story to use as an illustration of finding a spouse than the story of Boaz and Ruth.” This is a classic Biblical romance that can be found for reference in the Old Testament book of Ruth.

1. Prayer

Prayer to God is the first, foremost and fundamental ingredient in finding a mate. After Ruth’s husband’s death, her mother-in-law Naomi insisted that she needed to go back to her homeland. Ruth refused and reassured Naomi of something, “my home is now where the God of Israel is.” Ruth purposed to Naomi, “Your God will be my God,” and then proclaimed that Jehovah God was the number one thing in her life!