Making Marriage Work Series

New Deal: Tim Timmons maintains that there are basically three stages in marriage. Stage #1 is the Ideal. That’s when everyone is excited, when love is grand, and “our marriage is going to be different!” But then along comes stage #2. The Ideal becomes an Ordeal. This is when we realize that our Prince Charming has warts, and that our Sleeping Beauty is not nearly so lovely once she wakes up. Then, far too often, along comes stage #3. And that’s when either one of the spouses begins wishing for a New Deal. Have you noticed that trend in our culture?

Now I know there are many problems in marriage– but I’m not convinced we should ditch the institution of marriage, rather, I believe we ought to return to God’s original blueprint to find how marriage ought to be. You see, you cannot make proper use of anything until you understand what it is made for. That’s true about anything.

Felt Pen: I hold in my hand a felt-tip pen. It is a great ideal for, the purpose for which it was made. But, if I try to use this felt-tip pen as a screwdriver– not only will it not accomplish that objective, but I will essentially ruin the pen for the purpose for which it was made. So also marriage. We’ve practically ruined the institution because we’ve tried to make marriage be what marriage was never intended to be. Which is why I think it’s long overdue that we open God’s glove compartment and read the Owner’s Manual.

Today, from Genesis 2, I want us to focus on one simple verse– verse 24. Genesis 2:24– “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother, be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh.” This verse is spoke by the Holy Spirit of God here in Genesis, it is repeated by Jesus in Matthew, and Paul underscored it in Ephesians. I want to suggest that this verse is the foundational verse for marriage. In fact, from this verse we will learn that marriage is designed by God to operate According to three Fundamental Priorities. A glamourous wedding does not guarantee a great marriage, but a commitment to the principles in this one verse is a sure thing......... Now today’s outline may not be new for our contemplation, but it is time to start the application.

I. Leave:

If your marriage is going to be what it ought to be– THERE HAS TO BE A LEAVING! “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother.”

Now, that is not a reference to abandon or forsake your parents– even though that is exactly what the original Hebrew suggests. We know from other Scriptures that we must always honor them. But it’s an exaggerated statement to remind us that that when you establish your new home, you are to loosen your dependency on mom and dad. What this means is that we need to sever the emotional umbilical cord. Whether it’s an emotional dependency or even a financial dependency, a physical dependency– you are to “leave” them.

Mom and dad, realize that your child was given to you– but only for a time for a very limited period of training. Listen, by the time your child is 12 years old, 2/3 of your time is gone! And by the time your child is making decisions about who she will date and with whom she will mate, your job is, for all practical purposes, essentially complete. If you have done your job right, you’ve been preparing your child for mate selection from infancy. If you’ve waited until she was 16, it’s too late.

And when your child comes to you and says, “Mom, Dad– this is the person that God wants me to marry....,” when that decision has been made, when your counsel has been given and the wedding march begins to play– that’s when you are to give your child back to the safe-keeping of God. And that’s when you let go!

A preacher friend said that one his wedding day, his dad came into his room and said, “Son, you’re on your own, now. I’m here for counsel when you need it. But you won’t hear it unless you ask. And if you don’t make it work with you new wife, don’t come running home to us. We’re moving on with our lives. And it’s time for you to do the same. You’re a man now. I love you– but you are on your own.” That was probably the greatest wedding present he could receive!

The principle of this leaving is this.... NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON EARTH, IS TO TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MATE. And when it does, you are in clear violation of the first fundamental priority of marriage. That leads us to the second principle.....