#2-3 Understanding The Power Of Division Series

UNDERSTANDING THE POWER OF DIVISON

By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com

I do this lesson in two parts.

This lesson is part two and three of a three part lesson.

I. INTRODUCTION:

A. Did you hear about the good news?

An old woman called their Pastor to discuss a matter of great concern.

The woman’s husband inherited 100 million dollars from a long lost uncle they had not heard from in many years.

The Uncle had invested and worked in oil wells in Texas and had achieved great success. The Uncle passed away and left everything to his favorite nephew.

The problem was not the money, but the lady’s concern was for her frail husband. Her husband had a seriously weak heart and was near kidney failure.

The dear wife was afraid that on the announcement of the inheritance of 100 million dollars her husband would die --- because his weak heart could not handle

such excitement.

So it was agreed that the Pastor would come over at supper time, eat with them, and then the Pastor would break the news of the frail old man inheriting 100

million bucks.

They finished their meal, the Pastor and the frail old man went into the living room.

The Pastor said to the old man: WHAT IF I TOLD YOU --- YOU HAD INHERITED 100 MILLION DOLLARS?

The old man looked into the Pastor’s eyes and said: "PASTOR, IF I HAD 100 MILLION DOLLARS, I WOULD GIVE YOU HALF!"

The Pastor fell in the floor and had a heart attack and died!

B. 5 WAYS TO GET RID OF YOUR PASTOR

John R. Rice told of five ways to get rid of your pastor that you might should think about.

1. Sit on the front pew, smile and say AMEN real loud.

Your pastor will preach himself to death.

2. Compliment your Pastor often, pat him on the back, brag on how well he is doing in the community and the church. Your Pastor will work himself

to death.

3. Increase your giving to the church so much that the Pastor will get a raise and a month’s vacation paid, your Pastor will go into shock and die.

4. Tell your pastor you are going to come to Sunday School every Sunday, and that you will be at every service. Tell him you will head of visitation to

the community, joyfully visit the widows and the orphans, and visit the rest home and the hospital several times a week.

This will immediately cause stress to his systems and you can go to the funeral home and visit him.

5. Come together in agreement, unity and prayer and band together in strong prayer for your pastor. He will improve so much and be so efficient that a huge

church will send their pastoral search committee to hear him, and they will be so impressed that they will call him, double his salary, and they will take

him off your hands.

C. DO WE KNOW THE PESSIMIST’S CREED?

THINK, IF THE PESSIMIST HAD A CREED WHAT WOULD IT BE?

ALL BUT ME AND THEE!

THE PESSIMIST CREED!

By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr.

Why rejoice in sunshine?

It will just turn to dark clouds and much rain!

Besides that, the sunshine can hurt your eyes,

More than that it can cause skin cancer!

Why should I smile?

A smile might send a wrong message to a friend?

A frown will burn more calories, we all know!

Smiles might wrinkle my face?

I don’t want to advertise for free for the dentist,

Because his fee was much too high!

If I smile everyone will wonder what I am thinking about?

Why should I give a friend a flower?

Flowers might cause an infection of my sinus glands?

Flowers cost so much, and you can’t eat them?

The beauty of the flower will soon fade!

A silk flower will but gather dust!

Besides all of that, I didn’t get a flower today?

Why should I whistle, hum or sing?

I don’t know the song!

That song is too slow,

And that song is way too fast!

How can we sing in a strange land?

I can’t sing, someone may think I am glad.

Why should I go to Sunday School and Church?

You know, I know more than that teacher,

he just reads out of the book!

The Preacher screams and wags his arms.

He preaches the everlasting Gospel.

That preacher, all he does is talk about money!

I gave two dollars three weeks ago,

Ain’t that enough?

All there are at that church are hypocrites!

Why should I encourage and say nice things to others?

If I brag on someone they will get a BIG HEAD!

And pride always goes before the fall.

I remember something negative 22 years ago about them!