2 Defining True Relationships Series

Well, here we are in our second week of “Me to We” – a series about our relationships.

I really felt that this series was important for all of us, because relationships are important.

And you know, the more I’m working on this series, the more I’ve got excited and passionate about this series.

I believe we are going to learn lots in the next few weeks.

And that the relationships we have with others are going to benefit from what we cover in “Me to We”.

So, let’s pray, and see what God is going to do, ok?

Pray . . . .

Last week I said that we need to be clear about our identity –

• with God,

• with ourselves, and

• with others.

We need to know our place and purpose to recognize where we fit into our relationships.

Having defined ourselves, Today we are going to explore Defining the Relationship.

The first way we can do this is laying out some things that True Relationships are not:

You know, our culture today is strange when it comes to relationships.

Online Friendships are made and lost at the click of a button.

That overspills into personal, physical friendships.

They can be made or lost in a moment.

No attempt to talk things through or reconcile.

Seeking a partner is done with little depth.

• A speed date

• The shape of their body

• How quick they will get in bed with you

• Whether you both share the same interest in trees or music. Or

• if you still like each other after 2 months!

That’s how some look for their “Significant” other.

Marriage is a big party - rather than a time to declare promises that are to be

worked at and worked through for a lifetime.

The reason I wanted to do this series is because Relationships are an integral part of our life.

If we treat relationships lightly, we can become selfish, lonely, and frankly messed up humans

If we treat relationships in the way God intended, they can literally HOLD OUR LIFE TOGETHER while living on planet Earth.

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Here’s a shock for some people:

True Relationships are not about you.

True relationships are about loving the other person or people in that relationship.

In a true relationship each member of that relationship will want to DO things to -

help, encourage, and strengthen the others.

And if everyone in that relationship is on board with it, their thoughts and actions will not be selfish, but selfless!

This series is not about marriage, but marriage is a relationship, so we are covering it..

Turn to Ephesians 5: this is written to a church!

v21 As a church family – “submit to one another”

What does that mean?

Submitting is presenting something to be agreed upon by the other(s)

• Submit evidence for consideration

• Submit your idea to be talked about

• Submit your proposal to be agreed . . . or not

In other words, in a relationship, we don’t hold things back and act on our own behalf, because there are others involved in the relationship.

So we submit things to the others to get agreement.

V22 “Wives submit to your own husband”.

This passage in the bible has got a lot of stick over time.

The claim is:

“it’s not equal!”

It’s out of date with our culture.

Actually that’s true!

But being out of step with our current culture doesn’t make it wrong or unfair.

Now . . v25 says Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER.

In other words . . . . Give yourself in love.

I’ve been saying time and time again lately:

Love is not something that’s said (although it’s great to say it), but love should always be evidenced by actions.

That’s very biblical!!!

So, before saying this section of the bible is bias towards men, read the whole thing.

In a husband and wife relationship – the two become one (last week)

See v28

28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. They become one.

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In these verses from Ephesians 5 does it say “wives love your husbands?” (no)

So, does that mean that wives don’t have to love their husbands? No!!!

Be careful not to take a bible passage out of context.

Out of context?

Yes – don’t take some verses from the bible as if they stand-alone.

The bible is God’s word. - It’s complete!

The Pharisees were good at quoting the law – and what they said was often correct as to the letter of that law – but it was often taken out of context as to the intention of God who made the law.