Our Secret Fears Series

OPENING

SENTENCE: Sometimes when you hear someone like myself preach on an issue you wonder if we can really understand what you are dealing with in your own life.

INTRODUCTION: Let’s face it, sometimes life can be hard and the admonition to trust Jesus, or let God take control, etc. can come across as simplistic and superficial platitudes that have no bearing in real life. They may come across as the naïve ponderings of a person who doesn’t really grasp your reality.

I can understand the sentiment because unless you have been through a severe trial it is hard to appreciate how it impacts the core of your being. It changes and shapes you in ways nothing else can. But, unless you have been through severe trials you cannot fully grasp the importance of having something that gives you an anchor to keep you grounded in those situations.

At a personal level I have experienced such times over the course of my life- so I understand it when you go through it. Early in my life, it was the death of my father. Later it was my mother marrying a paranoid schizophrenic whose extreme mood swings, narcissism, and delusions created constant tension- never knowing what state of mind he would be in at any given time.

In my adult life, I had the normal stresses of life until we moved to the Central Coast of California. Within a month of starting the pastorate there, the central gatekeeper of the church put me on notice that he was in charge- he basically stated it in those terms. I knew that if I let him have control then my ministry there was done from the start. After, winning an unwelcome battle with him his son then assumed his role. Within three years I resigned realizing there was nothing more I could do. About the same time that I resigned the economy crashed in the States. We saw a business we invested heavily in go under, our retirement accounts dropped to less than half and we had to withdraw from them at a low point just to get by. The house that we had $300,000 of our own money invested in dropped $300,000 in less than a year causing us to lose it all. In all, we lost around $500,000 dollars that we had carefully saved and invested. Needless to say, it was a very stressful time.

I know what it is like when your world crumbles around you. I also know what it is like to realize that when we cannot control what is happening then we must trust God even more. But, just as difficult is when we live our lives in fear of these worst case scenarios. In other words, even when things seem to be going well we still live in the constant fear that danger is looming just around the corner. We call it anxiety- fear in the absence of real danger- the belief that if what I am imagining actually happened it would be unbearably awful. And because of this undefined fear, we miss out on the peace and contentment we should otherwise enjoy.

TRANSITION

SENTENCE: In marriages, as in life, we will have times when everything seems to be crumbling around us.

TRANSITION: In a typical marriage there will be at least one time in the relationship where one or both parties will be severely tested. Those events shape your relationship in ways nothing else can.

SAY WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY: This morning I want us to consider what we can do to help us get through such times. I want us to ask, “How can you endure the hardships that negatively impact your marriage?” We will learn that God is with you in even your worst marital situation and giving Him control provides the peace that passes understanding enabling you to endure all things.

TEXT: Philippians 4:4-13, Matthew 6:25-34

THEME: We overcome the deepest fears that negatively impact our marriages by learning to be content in Christ alone.

How can you endure the hardships that negatively impact your marriage?

I. God is with you in even your worst marital situation. (4-5)

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. “

We cannot fully appreciate what this passage is telling us until we understand the setting of these words. Paul is not speaking out of ignorance or naivety. He is writing this from a Philippian prison put there unjustly for preaching the gospel of Jesus by the Jews, who were persecuting him. Already he had suffered beatings and humiliation at their hands and this was one of many of his imprisonments. We can read about the setting for this passage in Acts 16:22-31, “The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten with rods. 23 After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. 24 When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks. 25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. 27 The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. 28 But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!” 29 The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” 31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”