10 Commandments: #7 Affair-Proofing Your Marriage Series

AFFAIR-PROOFING YOUR MARRIAGE

Ten Commandments That Build Strong Families - Part 7

Exodus 20:14

God has given us Ten Commandments for our benefit. These 10 Values are meant to protect you

and protect your family from living in pain.

Exodus 20:14 -- our seventh commandment -- "You shall not commit adultery."

FIRST: A WORD FOR THE SINGLES

Why Say No to Sex?

1 Peter 2:11 – “Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires,

which wage war against your soul.”

If you have hung around the church for very long, you have probably heard that God wants

people to reserve sex for marriage. For many people, including those inside the church, it does

not make sense. If sex feels so good, and is good for the relationship, and both people are

consenting, then what is the problem?

Consider this viewpoint: When someone can say no to sex while dating, their behavior is a sign

that he or she is capable of delaying gratification and exhibiting self-control, which are two

prerequisites of committed love. If someone cannot delay gratification and control himself or

herself in this area, what makes you think that they can delay their own gratification in other

areas of sacrifice? What is going to curb the “I want what I want now” mentality in the rest of

life? If someone is able to respect the limit of hearing no for sex, then that is a character sign of

someone who can say no to their own desires and hungers in order to serve a higher purpose, or

to love another person.

You are going to want to be with a person who can deny himself or herself for the sake of your

relationship in many areas. Think of the areas of sacrifice that a relationship takes. There are

competing times in your life, times when the needs of your job, or your friends, or the church

might compete with the needs of your family. If you regularly sacrifice for the benefit of your

significant other, then you will be able to more likely control your need for immediate

gratification where sex is concerned.

You need someone who has the ability to work out conflict. One person is hurt and wants to

strike back in anger or hurt, yet to reconcile, the ability to put one’s own desires aside for the

sake of the relationship is necessary.

Wouldn’t you want to be with a person who can hear and respect the “no” of others? Having a

boundary in sex while you are dating is a very important test to see if the person loves you. We

have all heard people refer to the line “If you love me, you will.” In reality, you should say back,

“If you love me, you won’t make demands that I do not feel comfortable with.”

Love waits and respects, but lust must have what it wants now. Are you being loved, or are

you an object of self-serving lust? Saying no is the only way to know.

We cannot overemphasize the value of dating a person who can delay their own gratification. If

you are with someone who ultimately has to have what they want when they want it, you are in

for a long time of misery. Choose someone who can delay gratification for the sake of you and

the relationship. To the extent that he or she says, “I must have what I want now,” you are in

trouble. Boundaries with sex are a sure-fire test to know if someone loves you for you.

SECOND: A WORD TO COUPLES

Nothing destroys a family faster than adultery. God says by following this commandment, you

are protecting your family.

The purpose of today's message is not to resurrect your past. If you have confessed a sin to God

and you've been forgiven God has forgiven it and forgotten it and you need to too.

Don't let Satan condemn you for things that are in your past and have already been forgiven and

forgotten when you've changed from it.

Today we’re going to focus on preventing future pain in your life and in your family’s life.

God invented sex. But like everything it must be controlled. He wants you to use it not abuse it.

All of God's gifts have limitations on them. God has given us the gift of water. You can't live

without water. But too much of it and you'll drown. God has given us fire. Fire can either warm

you or burn you. Money can be a gift or a curse, It's how you handle it.

God says I've given you a need for physical contact. Properly controlled and expressed within a

marriage it's beautiful and fantastic. But outside of marriage it is destructive and detrimental to