"What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You And Your Father Didn't Know" Series

24 September 2010

U.S. Army Chaplain (MAJ) Ken Harris

Resiliency Campus

Fort Hood, TX

BIG IDEA: For the first time in Recorded History, man and woman are looking to each other primarily for Love and Romance.

REFERENCES: Genesis 2:15-25 (The Creation Narrative); Genesis 2:24-25 (ESV) Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered; Ephesians 5:25 (ESV) Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her; Ephesians 5:28 (ESV) In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (ESV) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

I. ANNOUNCE THE PERICOPE: 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (ESV)

II. READ THE PERICOPE: 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (ESV)

III. READ THE TEXT: 1 Corinthians 7:3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

IV. PURPOSE: To provoke the male and female hearers to satisfy their spouses’ emotional needs by primarily providing Love and Romance without sacrificing their own personal fulfillment.

V. SERMONIC THEME: "What Your Mother Couldn’t Tell You and Your Father Didn’t Know”

VI. INTRODUCTION: I want to momentarily speak with you – our Phantom Warriors’ Combat Spouses about a subject that you may or may not be familiar with called - Marriage Fitness.

Marriage Fitness was first coined by MORT FERTEL with the ideal of helping people renew their marriage.

I submit to you, today, that there are two things that Men and Women both have need of …

Believe it or not – both men and women need LOVE and ROMANCE.

Every man needs to know and feel that his woman loves and adores him unconditionally.

Every woman needs to know and feel that her man loves and adores her so that he’s willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and die – just for her.

She needs to know and feel that she’s the apple of his eye; and she rocks his world. She needs to be LOVED and ROMANCED.

******* TAKE 5 BEATS *******

MOVE 1: The idea of both man and woman needing to be LOVED and ROMANCE hasn’t always existed.

a. In fact, ONCE UPON A TIME, untold ages ago - men and women were peaceful partners in a HOSTILE and DANGEROUS world.

b. But, they existed in DIFFERENT lanes/spheres/areas.

c. Still, they DEPENDED on EACH OTHER in order to SURVIVE.

d. Food, Sex, Children, Shelter, and Security motivated them to work together because the fulfillment of these basic needs required specific ROLES and SKILLS.

******* TAKE 5 BEATS *******

MOVE 2: However, it was a NATURAL LANE SEPARATION.

A. Biology had determined that a woman gives birth and hence feels a great responsibility for RAISING children and CREATING a HOME.

B. The man was HONORED and RESPECTED (in his role) BY AGREEING to take such DANGEROUS ASSIGNMENTS as venturing INTO THE WILD to hunt, or STANDING GUARD to PROTECT HER and THEIR YOUNG.

c. Now, as we all can attest to, Life and time have changed dramatically.

d. We no longer UTTERLY DEPEEND on each other for SECURITY and SURVIVAL. The rules and strategies of our ancestors HAVE BECOME OUTDATED.

e. For the first TIME in RECORDED HISTORY, we (men and women) look to each other PRIMARILY for LOVE and ROMANCE.

******* TAKE 5 BEATS *******

MOVE 3: What your MOTHER COULDN’T TELL YOU and your FATHER DIDN’T KNOW is …

a. HOW TO SATISFY your PARTNER’S EMOTIONAL needs WITHOUT SACRIFING your own personal fulfillment.

b. This new agenda can be ACCOMPLISHED ONLY through the practice of NEW RELATIONSHIP SKILLS such as “listening” and “speaking one’s language of love”.

c. We all agree that TIMES HAVE CHANGED:

d. The SOCIAL and ECONOMIC CHANGES of the LAST FORTY YEARS have enormously affected traditional male and female roles.

e. A woman’s leaving the home and entering the WORKFORCE has DIMINISHED MEN’S traditional VALUE TO WOMEN.

f. Increasingly independent and self-sufficient, CONTEMPORARY – 21st Century WOMEN no longer feel the SAME NEED for MEN TO PROVIDE for or PROTECT them.