24 September 2010
U.S. Army Chaplain (MAJ) Ken Harris
Resiliency Campus
Fort Hood, TX
BIG IDEA: For the first time in Recorded History, man and woman are looking to each other primarily for Love and Romance.
REFERENCES: Genesis 2:15-25 (The Creation Narrative); Genesis 2:24-25 (ESV) Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered; Ephesians 5:25 (ESV) Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her; Ephesians 5:28 (ESV) In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (ESV) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I. ANNOUNCE THE PERICOPE: 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (ESV)
II. READ THE PERICOPE: 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (ESV)
III. READ THE TEXT: 1 Corinthians 7:3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
IV. PURPOSE: To provoke the male and female hearers to satisfy their spouses’ emotional needs by primarily providing Love and Romance without sacrificing their own personal fulfillment.
V. SERMONIC THEME: "What Your Mother Couldn’t Tell You and Your Father Didn’t Know”
VI. INTRODUCTION: I want to momentarily speak with you – our Phantom Warriors’ Combat Spouses about a subject that you may or may not be familiar with called - Marriage Fitness.
Marriage Fitness was first coined by MORT FERTEL with the ideal of helping people renew their marriage.
I submit to you, today, that there are two things that Men and Women both have need of …
Believe it or not – both men and women need LOVE and ROMANCE.
Every man needs to know and feel that his woman loves and adores him unconditionally.
Every woman needs to know and feel that her man loves and adores her so that he’s willing to make the ultimate sacrifice and die – just for her.
She needs to know and feel that she’s the apple of his eye; and she rocks his world. She needs to be LOVED and ROMANCED.
******* TAKE 5 BEATS *******
MOVE 1: The idea of both man and woman needing to be LOVED and ROMANCE hasn’t always existed.
a. In fact, ONCE UPON A TIME, untold ages ago - men and women were peaceful partners in a HOSTILE and DANGEROUS world.
b. But, they existed in DIFFERENT lanes/spheres/areas.
c. Still, they DEPENDED on EACH OTHER in order to SURVIVE.
d. Food, Sex, Children, Shelter, and Security motivated them to work together because the fulfillment of these basic needs required specific ROLES and SKILLS.
******* TAKE 5 BEATS *******
MOVE 2: However, it was a NATURAL LANE SEPARATION.
A. Biology had determined that a woman gives birth and hence feels a great responsibility for RAISING children and CREATING a HOME.
B. The man was HONORED and RESPECTED (in his role) BY AGREEING to take such DANGEROUS ASSIGNMENTS as venturing INTO THE WILD to hunt, or STANDING GUARD to PROTECT HER and THEIR YOUNG.
c. Now, as we all can attest to, Life and time have changed dramatically.
d. We no longer UTTERLY DEPEEND on each other for SECURITY and SURVIVAL. The rules and strategies of our ancestors HAVE BECOME OUTDATED.
e. For the first TIME in RECORDED HISTORY, we (men and women) look to each other PRIMARILY for LOVE and ROMANCE.
******* TAKE 5 BEATS *******
MOVE 3: What your MOTHER COULDN’T TELL YOU and your FATHER DIDN’T KNOW is …
a. HOW TO SATISFY your PARTNER’S EMOTIONAL needs WITHOUT SACRIFING your own personal fulfillment.
b. This new agenda can be ACCOMPLISHED ONLY through the practice of NEW RELATIONSHIP SKILLS such as “listening” and “speaking one’s language of love”.
c. We all agree that TIMES HAVE CHANGED:
d. The SOCIAL and ECONOMIC CHANGES of the LAST FORTY YEARS have enormously affected traditional male and female roles.
e. A woman’s leaving the home and entering the WORKFORCE has DIMINISHED MEN’S traditional VALUE TO WOMEN.
f. Increasingly independent and self-sufficient, CONTEMPORARY – 21st Century WOMEN no longer feel the SAME NEED for MEN TO PROVIDE for or PROTECT them.
g. This is because many MODERN WOMEN chart their OWN DESTINY and pay their own bills. And when they are in danger; THEY PULL out their Mace or call the military police or their units’ First Sergeants.
******* TAKE 5 BEATS *******
MOVE 4: For you see … OUR MOTHERS could NOT TEACH their daughters how to share their feelings in a way that didn’t make men defensive …
a. They couldn’t teach their daughters how to ask for support so that a man would respond favorably.
b. Because our mothers – for the most part – DID NOT KNOW how to accommodate their HUSBANDS WISHES without sacrificing THEIR OWN.
c. THEY WERE EXPERTS at pleasing THEIR MEN at their own expense. In essence, our mothers COULD NOT TEACH their daughters HOW TO BE feminine and ALSO POWERFUL.
d. They couldn’t teach their daughters how to support THEIR PARTNERS and also get the emotional support that THEY DESERVED.
e. As a result, WE MUST NOT BLAME our parents FOR FAILING TO TEACH us things ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS that THEY DIDN’T KNOW and COULD NOT HAVE KNOWN.
******* TAKE 5 BEATS *********
CELEBRATION: Ladies and gentlemen … please be aware that Our Fathers Did Not UNDERSTAND HOW To Give The EMPATHY And SYMPATHY That WOMEN Needed and REQUIRED.
They did NOT KNOW even the LITTLE THINGS a woman REQUIRED to be fulfilled.
They did NOT KNOW the importance of MONOGAMY and how it makes a woman FEEL SPECIAL.
Because our fathers/ancestors SIMPLY DID NOT understand WOMEN.
Without that understanding, the Contemporary/21st Century MALE CANNOT develop the SKILLS necessary to get the KIND OF SUPPORT he now requires in HIS RELATIONSHIPS.
Our PARENTS COULDN’T teach us the relationship SKILLS necessary to MAKE relationships thrive in this MODERN WORLD.
New relationship skills for a WOMAN REQUIRE traditional ABILITES, but with a NEW TWIST to ensure that she’ll get back what SHE NEEDS.
Sometimes she has to ask him out to dinner in order to teach him how to ask her out;
Sometimes she has to rock his world in order to teach him how to rock hers.
She has to create a Get-a-Way (for her man) within her home environment which consist of peace, love, and understanding.
Someone once said (1 Peter 3:7): husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, showing … her … honor …
