1 Peter 3:1-7 Series

For the Audio Version on YouTube, click here – https://youtu.be/M4jx4CQopKwhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrPtkeqIQ8GHA0HvhxBmGNQ

For the Audio Version on Spotify, click here – https://open.spotify.com/episode/24IqvkQC68OiphbtvHjXN0?si=13c0d63532494ea7

1 Peter 3:1-4

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

After talking about the importance of us submitting to government authorities and to employers, Peter then turns his attention to marriage, and talks about the importance of submission in marriage. He begins by addressing the wives, and reminds them to be submissive to their own husbands. This one verse, taken out of context has been the cause for domestic violence, where husbands abuse their wives, and tend to justify it as well, quoting this verse on submission. Let’s look at that in detail a little later.

The reason Peter says that the wife is to submit to her own husband is because God, who instituted marriage, designed it in such a way that the leader (head) of the home is the husband. Here again, the word ‘head’ is often misunderstood. Every team needs a leader, and in the amazing team of marriage, the husband is supposed to be the leader. When a wife submits to her husband who is a responsible, wise, caring, loving leader, then the home can run smoothly, and can be a reflection of the love that God intended for marriage to demonstrate.

He goes on to say something that is once again an oft misunderstood verse in the church today. I’m sure the church Peter was writing to, understood what he meant better than we do today. Back in the day, there were wives who came to faith in Christ from non-Christian backgrounds, and their husbands would still have been unbelievers. This means that there would have been a clash between both of them in areas pertaining to their belief about God, in their values, morals, identity, purpose of living, etc. It is these women that Peter encourages to live a life that so reflects Christ, so that their lifestyle might win their unbelieving husbands over to the Christian faith.

Today this verse if oft misunderstood to mean that a believing woman can marry an unbelieving man, with the hope of winning her husband to the Lord thereafter. There’s no room for that in Christian marriage. The Apostle Paul warns us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. While this verse can be applied to any binding relationship with unbelievers, one of the main relationships it applies to, is marriage, as there’ll be clashes galore if this were to happen. In fact, instead of one drawing their unbelieving husband to the faith, the opposite could easily happen, and the woman can be drawn away from her faith in Christ; not forgetting the confusion that the children will face, seeing their parents practicing two different faiths in the home.

So when we look at this verse in this context, we understand that Peter is addressing women, who were initially unbelievers, along with their husbands, but perhaps came to faith in Christ. He’s telling these women to do all they can to live in such a way to help bring their husbands to the faith as well.

He suggests that their conduct be chaste or pure. He adds another quality that wives need to possess towards their husbands – fear. Here the word, ‘fear’ does not refer to being scared of the husband, but rather being respectful toward him. Let’s remember here that before the wife gives her husband respect, it’s important that the husband first respects his wife, and does not ill-treat her, disrespect or abuse her in any way. All too often we see situations in families where husbands abuse their wives in more ways than one, and then demand respect from their wives; that’s not the way it was meant to be.

He goes on to remind wives to not let their beauty be only external, limited to the way they do their hair or the wearing of gold or expensive clothing. Take note that he is not speaking against arranging your hair, wearing of gold or dressing well, but rather saying that one’s beauty should not stem from these things, because that does not reflect the true inner beauty of a person. He goes on to say that beauty should stem from within; from the heart, which is the seat of all desires and motives, and from which stem attitudes, thoughts, intents, words, actions and reactions. If there’s inner beauty, it will be reflected in the way one’s life is lived. He goes on to further explain what he means by inner beauty – a gentle and quiet spirit, as opposed to a rude and haughty spirit. Peter goes on to say that such an attitude by a wife is precious (valuable/esteemed) in the sight of God.