My Crazy Mixed Up Family #3 Series

We’re probably a lot like you in that we have struggled in coming to understand why God created us and then placed us in such crazy mixed up families. Can I get a witness? The good news this morning is that we are not alone. Throughout the ages, people have struggled with question, where is God in my family situation. The bible offers plenty of interesting stories of dysfunctional family relationships but we have been focusing on the story of Joseph in Genesis. The first week we uncovered that God doesn’t remove the challenging family, friends and work situations, He works through them. And then last week, we reinforced God’s reminder that no matter how bad a situation gets, God never leaves us or forsake us. This week we will strive to answer the question, “How do I do get over my past and its hurts?”

So let’s continue with our story of Joseph where we left off.

Joseph’s in prison for something he didn’t do. He ends up making some new friends through his gift of interpreting dreams. One of who eventually remembers him when the pharaoh is having a dream issue of his own. Joseph does a great job. He gets the recognition and respect of his new master and becomes the new Golden boy. It really is quite the rags to riches story and then his brothers show up and the story gets really interesting. I’m not sure about you but as I read it, there seems to be this underlying tension. It’s the tension between justice, revenge, grace and mercy. I almost find myself hoping the brothers get what’s coming to them. “When is the Hebrew turned Egyptian cobra going to strike, I muse” Wouldn’t it be natural for Joe to hold a grudge? Who could fault him for revenge? A biblical grudge match is order? Let’s get ready to rumble….

However, then I remember a story of grudge to end all grudges. It’s a true story of two businessmen from New York: Joseph Richardson and Hyman Sarner. Joseph owned a small strip – 5’ by 104’ of land on Lexington Avenue and Hyman owned a regular piece just behind it. Hyman went to Joseph and offered what was a low price for the land but Joseph was insulted. Hyman went ahead with his building plan and even had windows put into the building that looked out over the avenue. This new building so infuriated Joseph that he decided to build a 4 story “home” on his small piece of property to block the view of Hyman tenants. The building was so small that reporter touring the building got stuck in the stairway and to strip out of his close to exit. The building was known throughout New York in the early 1900’s as the spite house. – Max Lucado –You’ll get through this” p111

We laugh at stories like this because secretly I think we remember moments in our own lives in which we wish would have thought of a good way to exact some emotional capital from them. This is especially true if we’re related to them and we think just because they came from the same gene pool they must think like us. However that is just not the case is it. The reality is revenge is never as sweet as I envision and often the only one hurt by holding the grudge is the person holding the grudge. It is like taking poison and hoping the other dies. It’s true. Living in the past with the “should of's, the could of's, and the even would of’s” along with “if they only had's”, is a great way to miss life. The only way to peace and joy in this life is through the door of forgiveness and acceptance.

Many of us in this room are carry bags of hurts from childhood, adolescence and even adulthood. We carry the bags and open them up and reminisce in them. A friend of mind says we push the replay button and feel the emotions over and over again to the point we feel little else. It’s really actually a sick addiction.

After all, the apostle Paul writes in the scriptures:

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Col 3:13

In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold…. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. - Eph 4:26-27, 31

So how do I get past this, over this, under it or even just drop it? The answer is simple but it is rarely easy but it is critical. Jesus as he was teaching the disciples to pray offered the line, “forgive us our sins, trespasses, debts as we forgive others.” But how?