Handling Discouragement Series

Discouragement

When our two kids John and Caitlin, who are now in their late twenties were only about three and four Sally and I bought them a book and we used to read it to them almost every night. Now, I know you’re probably thinking it was a Bible and we did read that too; but this one was called, ‘Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.’ Let me read a bit of it for you.

‘I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on my skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell, it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At breakfast Anthony found a Corvette Stingray car kit in his breakfast cereal box and Nick found a Junior Undercover Agent code ring in his breakfast cereal box but in my breakfast cereal box, all I found was breakfast cereal. I think I’ll move to Australia.

In the car pool Mrs. Gibson let Becky have a seat by the window. Audrey and Elliot got seats by the window too. I said I was being smushed. I said, if I don’t get a seat by the window I am going to be carsick. No one even answered. I could tell, it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

After many more unfortunate incidents Alexander ends his day by saying, my bath was too hot, I got soap in my eyes, my marble went down the drain and I had to wear my railroad train pajamas. I hate my railroad train pajamas. It’s been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mom says, some days are like that, even in Australia.

Well, we’ve all had those days and sometimes those days can stretch into weeks and regardless of the quality of our spiritual lives, our personality type or even our financial status, all of us can get discouraged.

People let us down, our plans don’t work out and some things happen that are simply beyond our control. And if too much comes our way too fast or we don’t handle the disappointments of life properly, our discouragement can turn to depression and even despair and we’ll begin to feel like life has no meaning or purpose.

For instance, there’s a sense of depression that can come from criticism we receive that we feel is unjustified.

There was a man named Robert Fulton who invented the first steamboat but for some reason no one seemed to want him to succeed. The day he launched his boat people lined the river bank while the workers tried to get the engine started and everyone shouted, ‘it will never start, it will never start.’ And when the steamboat finally did start and began heading down the river they all yelled, ‘it will never stop, it will never stop.’

So, some people are going to criticize you no matter what happens. Criticism is something that will bring out both the best and worst in us. In criticism, there is something to either be learned about ourselves or someone we need to learn to stay away from. Benjamin Disraeli once said, ‘The worst wheel of a cart makes the most noise.’

A woman once came to her Pastor and said, ‘I only have one gift and that’s the gift of criticism’ to which he replied, ‘Then maybe you should do like the man who had one gift in the Bible, and take it out and bury it.’

Benjamin Franklin said, “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”

There are times when the criticism can be really nasty but other times when there’s actually a kernel of truth in it. So, we need to listen carefully to see if there’s something we need to learn or someone we simply need to avoid. Here are five quick reactions we can make.

First, don’t respond as soon as you hear it. It might feel good to give someone a piece of your mind but there might be some truth in what’s said and it’s good to think it over. Time helps you to be objective. So, first, take your time in responding. It’s always better than having to go back and ask their forgiveness later.

Second, really listen to what’s being said. Are they criticizing you or are they just expressing some of their personal frustration? And from a personal standpoint, ask yourself, is something here that I don’t want to hear but that could help me to improve?

Third, keep in mind that the criticism isn’t always about you but sometimes the one who’s criticizing is upset over some obscure little thing and they’re either just having a bad day or not feeling well or releasing pent up emotions. Sometimes the best reaction is simply to listen and be quiet.