#1 Dig Your Own Well? Codependence.

#1 DIG MY OWN WELL? BEING CODEPENDENT By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com (#1 OF 2 PARTS) TEXT: Proverbs 5:15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.

ARISTOTLE’S GOLDEN MEAN. Aristotle taught a concept known as the Golden Mean. He taught life has two extremes. At one end of the balance is EXCESSIVENESS and at the other end was DEFICIENCY. Jesus taught this lesson as MODERATION in all things. (VIRTUE ETHICS)

Philippians 4:5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

Christianity is not a mere religion. Jesus is about relationships. We need a personal relationship with God and with other people. We are social beings. We function poorly as individuals, we work best as a team. We must make it as clear as you can to other people we are team mates. We pull together. The preacher is not your enemy. Law enforcement are not your enemy. Your teachers are not your enemy. Your spouse is not your enemy. Authority is not an enemy. All that we meet are on our side. We must learn to work with them and not against them. Jesus desires us to be gentle and cooperate together. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. Jesus is coming, will we be ready?

We need to understand that spiritually, mentally and physically we need to find the balance between INDEPENDENT ATTITUDES and CODEPENDENT. Dependent people learn to be a team and rely on each other. Codependent individuals tend to feel worthless unless they feel needed by others. Dependent and codependency are learned behaviors. God help us to be balanced…

CODEPENDENT: low self-value, characterized by excessive emotional or psychological reliance on others, one that feels they cannot function by themselves and needs and requires the support of others, a feeling of neediness, no joy or happiness by self. We seldom learn that WE CONTROL OUR PERSONAL MOODS.

CODEPENDENT can become an addiction. This trait often is birthed by personal failure and frustration that promotes an imbalance in relationships. This concept yields to a feeling of great loneliness in that a person can never feel complete without others.

CYCLE OF CODEPENDENCY is established by low self-esteem and low self-worth. A codependent person often establishes a pattern of feeling lonely. We must allow God to expose this unhealthy nature and with time and great effort to overcome the bad attitudes.

Matthew 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

DO WE RECOGNIZE THE TRAITS OF CODEPENDENT PEOPLE: Codependent people will normally develop small close knit groups. We call these CLIQUES. They desire to have one or two friends and smother them. If their friends try to have another friend they drop that friend as they have less control. God desires us to depend on Him and not establish small cliques but rather for us to be inclusive.

THERE IS NO JOY, HAPPINESS OR SATISFACTION BEING ALONE? A CODEPENDENT PERSON OFTEN COMES FROM ABUSIVE SITUATIONS. (Alcoholic, controlling) CODEPENDENT INDIVIDUALS ARE OFTEN HAVE EXCESSIVE PANIC ATTACKS, WORRY AND GUILT.

SAUL LOVED TO DRINK OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S WELLS. SAUL DEMANDS OF THE PREACHER, MAKE ME LOOK GOOD… HE DID NOT SAY MY GOD… SEEMS KING SAUL NEVER HAD A SOLID PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. KING SAUL WAS TOTALLY CODEPENDENT ON PREACHER SAMUEL.

1 Samuel 15:27 And as Samuel turned about to go away, he laid hold upon the skirt of his mantle, and it rent. 28 And Samuel said unto him, The LORD hath rent the kingdom of Israel from thee this day, and hath given it to a neighbour of thine, that is better than thou. 29 And also the Strength of Israel will not lie nor repent: for he is not a man, that he should repent. 30 Then he said, I have sinned: yet honour me now, I pray thee, before the elders of my people, and before Israel, and turn again with me, that I may worship the LORD thy God.

Saul never established a personal relationship with God… SAUL WAS TOTALLY CODEPENDENT ON SAMUEL… The cloak of the anointing was never on King Saul. When Saul jerked the mantle off Samuel, Saul revealed a lack of respect for God and God’s man.

Saul replied, "I have sinned. But please honor me before the elders of my people and before Israel; come back with me, so that I may worship the LORD your God." GOD TOLD SAMUEL TO QUIT CRYING FOR SAUL… (YOUR GOD, NOT MY GOD?)

God loves obedience not STUBBORNNESS, REBELLION, IDOLATRY OR WITCHCRAFT. We must dig our own wells.