Contributed by Dave Kinney on Mar 29, 2009
Dennis the Menace was caught causing trouble around the house and his mother had all she could take from him and said to him, "Dennis the way you’re behaving, how do you expect to get into heaven?"
To that Dennis said, "Well, I’ll just keep slamming the door
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Baptist
Contributed by Charles Wallis on May 19, 2009
Miss California gets to keep her title. She stood up for marriage, but not for modesty. Is there a contradiction there? We are surely blind if we think the world respects our position when we are not really any different than they are. She certainly represents California well, and probably many
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Brian Buriff on Feb 2, 2010
Zig Zigler: If you feel you married the wrong person - treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong
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Church Of God
Contributed by Larry Wilson on Sep 29, 2011
based on 4 ratings
| 5,730 views
IT'S NOT THE WATER
Little Betsy had faithfully attended baptism classes. Her mother, wanting to be sure her daughter understood its significance, asked, "Honey, what does baptism mean?"
"Well, it isn't the water that makes you clean ..." she began. Smiling, Mother thought, Yes, she
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Baptist
Contributed by Ken Pell on Dec 11, 2011
GIFT GIVING SHOULD BE PERSONAL AND RELATIONAL
Have you ever seen the episode of "Friends" where Joey and Chandler wait too long to buy Christmas gifts? They end up having to buy gifts from a gas station.
They give Rachael wiper blades and an air freshener. When Rachel
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Nazarene
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Apr 24, 2012
based on 2 ratings
| 4,031 views
NOW I UNDERSTAND
It reminds me of an older lady, who had no affinity for contemporary worship, who was complaining about a particular song used in the worship service at her church. A fellow worshipper responded, "Why, that is not a new song -- it is a very old song! David sang that song to Saul."
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Jeff Strite on May 13, 2012
based on 2 ratings
| 5,077 views
BAPTISM: THE GREAT EQUALIZER
Bob Russell once noted: "Baptism is the great equalizer. No matter who you are, how successful you are, or who you know... all have to go under the waters alike. There are those who come forward in expensive suits, dangling gold jewelry, and $100 hairdos. But the
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 5,763 views
A dear lady had a husband who was an airline pilot, and he often had difficulty locating items around the house. One day he asked his wife where the salt was. Annoyed, she responded, "How on earth can you find Detroit at night in a blizzard, but you can’t
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2008
John Tyler, after death of William Henry Harrison …
When a Christian people feel themselves to be overtaken by a great public calamity, it becomes them to humble themselves under the dispensation of Divine Providence, to recognize His righteous government over the children of men, to acknowledge
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Contributed by Eric Ferguson on May 16, 2008
based on 1 rating
| 4,062 views
GOD'S PICTURE
There's a story of a third grade student who was asked to draw a picture of what she thinks God looks like. The little girl showed the teacher - teacher said "Wait a minute, that looks like a man - that's not God!"
And the little girl said "Well, I don't know what God
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Skip Alexander on Jun 30, 2008
There’s a story about a little girl who climbed up on the lap of great-grandmother, looked at her white hair and wrinkles, and then asked, "Did God make you?" "Yes," she said. Then she asked, "Did God make me, too?" Grandma said, "Yes." "Well,"
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Baptist
Contributed by Bob Gillchrest on Dec 8, 2008
Did you read about the Pope's passing forgiveness on John Lennon’s famous statement when the Beatles were climbing the ladder of popularity and success in the 60s? He forgave John for claiming that one day the Beatles would be more popular and famous than Jesus Christ. Well, the Pope may have
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Baptist
Contributed by Evie Megginson on Jul 12, 2001
based on 74 ratings
| 1,519 views
Owne Wister, an old college friend of Theodore Roosevelt, was visiting him at the White House. Roosevelt’s daughter Alice kept running in and out of the room until Wister finally asked if there wasn’t something Roosevelt could do to control her.
"Well," said the President, "I can do one of two
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 9, 2003
based on 9 ratings
| 3,549 views
A PADDY’S DAY JOKE
Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What’s wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked. "Well didn’t ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said
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Sermon Central