Contributed by Marie Tombow on Feb 2, 2009
My nearsightedness; my glasses were broken and I couldn’t see beyond the end of my nose -- While in the Navy, I was in charge of getting the barracks cleaned before inspection. When I checked the barracks floor, it really looked clean to me; but we failed inspection.
Barracks floor and new
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 17, 2009
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COULD BE WORSE
Some years ago, Charles Schulz pictured Charlie Brown bringing out Snoopy’s dinner on Thanksgiving Day, but it was just his usual dog food in a bowl. So, Snoopy took one look at the dog food and said, "This isn’t fair. The rest of the world today is eating turkey with all the
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DESCRIBE ME
I heard about a rabbit and a snake meeting in the forest. The rabbit said, "We don’t know how we look. Why don’t we describe each other to the other so we’ll know how we look?" The snake said, "Good idea. You’ve got a pink nose, long ears, and a fluffy little tail." The rabbit liked
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Baptist
Contributed by Bruce Rzengota on Dec 26, 2009
My older sister Sue is panicked by mice. She lives in an old farm house, next door to the house we grew up in. One night she went into her kitchen and saw a mouse scury underneath the pantry door. Wanted it eradicated, she called Dad who went over the house to take care of the problem. He was
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Christian Missionary Alliance
Contributed by Kerry O'neill on Mar 12, 2010
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PARENTING "TO MAKE MY CHILD HAPPY"
Several years ago, I was part of a great church in Omaha, Nebraska that ran a Christian school. When the parents of the students were surveyed and asked "What is your main role as a parent to your child?" the number one response was "To make my child happpy."
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on May 3, 2010
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REAL MOTHERS
Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried Playdoh doesn't come out of shag
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Ross Cochrane on May 21, 2010
I remember as a kid watching the TV series called "KUNG FU" staring David Caradine. The blind Master Po (Keye Luke) calls his young student "GRASSHOPPER" to "EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED". We are not grasshoppers but we often see ourselves as such (Numbers 13:33) and we don't need a Shaolin monk to tell
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Jimmy Haile on Sep 25, 2011
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ARE YOU PREPARED?
One day, a king died. His servants spread the unbelievable news all over the palace. He had died in his bed of natural causes.
"Where has he gone?" asked one of the king's wisest counselors
"Why, to Heaven of course!" answered all the others.
"No", said the other gravely, "I
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Baptist
Contributed by Brad Froese on Oct 4, 2011
FLIGHT CHECK
When you're a pilot and you're getting ready to go on a flight, you always run through a checklist: to assess the air worthiness of the aircraft, and the conditions you'll be flying in before you commits to the flight because all the weather information and every surface and
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Assembly Of God
Contributed by Gordon Curley on May 20, 2012
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COMPROMISE
A hunter went out into the forest to shoot a bear. With winter fast approaching he planned to make a warm coat out of the bearskin. Soon he saw a bear coming toward him, he raised his gun and took aim.
"Wait," said the bear, "why do you want to shoot me?"
The hunter replied:
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 1, 2012
UH, THAT'S "MARANATHA"
An elderly Christian lady attended a Christian conference gathering, similar to Keswick/Spring Harvest etc. For her it was really the first time she had mixed with Christians from other denominations. This really blessed her and opened her eyes to the richness of Christian
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Brethren
Contributed by Larry Hinkle on Jun 12, 2020
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An elderly Widow woke in the middle of the night, alerted by a noise> She tiptoed down steps to discover she had a Burglar in her home. She shouted at the intruder, “Stop in the name of the Lord, repent for the forgiveness of your sins. Acts 2:38!” the burglar immediately froze, raised both arms
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Methodist
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