Contributed by Dave Kinney on Mar 29, 2009
Dennis the Menace was caught causing trouble around the house and his mother had all she could take from him and said to him, "Dennis the way you’re behaving, how do you expect to get into heaven?"
To that Dennis said, "Well, I’ll just keep slamming the door
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Baptist
Contributed by Charles Wallis on May 19, 2009
Miss California gets to keep her title. She stood up for marriage, but not for modesty. Is there a contradiction there? We are surely blind if we think the world respects our position when we are not really any different than they are. She certainly represents California well, and probably many
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Brian Buriff on Feb 2, 2010
Zig Zigler: If you feel you married the wrong person - treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong
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Church Of God
Contributed by Larry Wilson on Sep 29, 2011
based on 4 ratings
| 5,522 views
IT'S NOT THE WATER
Little Betsy had faithfully attended baptism classes. Her mother, wanting to be sure her daughter understood its significance, asked, "Honey, what does baptism mean?"
"Well, it isn't the water that makes you clean ..." she began. Smiling, Mother thought, Yes, she
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Baptist
Contributed by Ken Pell on Dec 11, 2011
GIFT GIVING SHOULD BE PERSONAL AND RELATIONAL
Have you ever seen the episode of "Friends" where Joey and Chandler wait too long to buy Christmas gifts? They end up having to buy gifts from a gas station.
They give Rachael wiper blades and an air freshener. When Rachel
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Nazarene
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Apr 24, 2012
based on 2 ratings
| 3,906 views
NOW I UNDERSTAND
It reminds me of an older lady, who had no affinity for contemporary worship, who was complaining about a particular song used in the worship service at her church. A fellow worshipper responded, "Why, that is not a new song -- it is a very old song! David sang that song to Saul."
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Jeff Strite on May 13, 2012
based on 2 ratings
| 4,907 views
BAPTISM: THE GREAT EQUALIZER
Bob Russell once noted: "Baptism is the great equalizer. No matter who you are, how successful you are, or who you know... all have to go under the waters alike. There are those who come forward in expensive suits, dangling gold jewelry, and $100 hairdos. But the
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Evie Megginson on Jul 12, 2001
based on 74 ratings
| 1,489 views
Owne Wister, an old college friend of Theodore Roosevelt, was visiting him at the White House. Roosevelt’s daughter Alice kept running in and out of the room until Wister finally asked if there wasn’t something Roosevelt could do to control her.
"Well," said the President, "I can do one of two
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 9, 2003
based on 9 ratings
| 3,451 views
A PADDY’S DAY JOKE
Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What’s wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked. "Well didn’t ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said
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Contributed by Tim Gresham on Jan 21, 2004
President John Adams stated, “The law given from Sinai was a civil and municipal code as well as a moral and religious code. These laws essential to the existence of men in society and most of which have been enacted by every Nation which ever professed any code of laws. Vain indeed would be the
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Baptist
Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Jan 17, 2005
based on 1 rating
| 6,445 views
Prime Minister Tony Blair, a confessed Christian wanted to end a televised address to the nation with the words “God bless you!” but he was stopped by his media director, spin-doctor, Alistair Campbell, a convinced atheist, in a celebrated remark, “We don’t do God!” Well that’s not what Micah had
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Baptist
Contributed by Scott Malone on Mar 1, 2005
based on 29 ratings
| 2,981 views
Early African converts to Christianity were earnest and regular in private devotions. Each one reportedly had a separate spot in the thicket where he would pour out his heart to God. Over time the paths to these places became well worn. As a result, if one of these believers began to neglect
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Baptist
Contributed by Jeremy Houck on Mar 20, 2005
Scott was the leading literary figure in the British Empire. No one could write as well as he. Then the works of Lord Byron began to appear, and their greatness was immediately evident. Soon an anonymous critic praised his poems in a London paper. He declared that in the presence of these brilliant
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 3, 2006
based on 4 ratings
| 1,677 views
College Student Gamers: Fully 65% of college students reported being regular or occasional game players. Women are more likely than men to be regular players of computer and online games--approximately 60% of women compared to 40% men reported this. 20% of gaming students felt that gaming helped
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Contributed by Charles Salmon on Jan 15, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 7,532 views
Sleeping in Church
A Minister, while preaching, noted most of his congregation was asleep. He stopped the sermon and asked a deacon to pass the offering plate. The deacon woke up red-faced and reminded him the offering had already been taken.
His response; “Never mind, take up another one. I
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on May 1, 2007
How many of you read Alice in Wonderland? There was a morning in Wonderland when Alice complained to the queen, “But I find it quite impossible to believe what you say!” At which her majesty mumbled, “Well, maybe you do, my dear; but when I was your age I made it a point to believe six impossible
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2008
When a Christian people feel themselves to be overtaken by a great public calamity, it becomes them to humble themselves under the dispensation of Divine Providence, to recognize His righteous government over the children of men, to acknowledge His goodness in time past, as well as their own
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