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In Sermon Illustrations: "True Funny Story"

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  • When Abraham Lincoln Was A Boy He Husked Corn ...

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on Mar 27, 2003
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,303 views

    When Abraham Lincoln was a boy he husked corn three days to pay for a second-hand copy of “The Life of Washington.” After he had read the book he said, “I don’t intend to shuck corn and split rails all my life.” When asked what he aspired to, he said, “Someday I’ll be president of the ...read more

  • A Common Source Of Challenge In Life Is ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jim Kane on May 25, 2004
    based on 26 ratings
     | 2,712 views

    A common source of challenge in life is commitment as illustrated in the following story: The church choir director was frustrated with the sporadic attendance of all the choir members for rehearsals for the Christmas Choral Concert. At the final rehearsal he announced, “I want to personally thank ...read more

  • Whenever I'm Tempted To Whine About The Demands ...

    Contributed by Curtis Deming on Apr 16, 2005
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,491 views

    Whenever I’m tempted to whine about the demands of leadership, I think of the story of Timothy. He had just heard Paul deliver the report of the Jerusalem Council that circumcision was unnecessary for Gentile converts. Yet Paul circumcised Timothy to avoid offending the Jews in the area. Timothy ...read more

  • A Short While Before Dr. J. B. Chapman Passed ...

    Contributed by Gene Gregory on Apr 2, 2006
     | 1,458 views

    “A SHORT WHILE BEFORE Dr. J. B. Chapman passed away, he was addressing a gathering of preachers, when he said, “We have reached the place where one plays a handsaw and another gives a “Life’s Story,” gathering a big crowd and we call that revival. No! that is not a revival; that is a farce. ...read more

  • Forrest Carter, In His Book The Education Of ...

    Contributed by Dan Brown on Nov 27, 2006
     | 1,649 views

    Forrest Carter, in his book the Education of Little Tree set around the great depression he relays the story of a grandfather’s explanation to his grandson his use of the phrase “I kin you”. It meant to love and understand. “Grandpa said back before his time ‘kinfolk’ meant any folks that you ...read more

  • Sheltered

    Contributed by Roger Roark on May 19, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,329 views

    When I was a child, I was afraid of the dark. I would go get in bed with my dad, and he would tell me a story, and I knew everything was okay. As long as I was with him, I knew nothing would harm me. That is the way our heavenly Father wants us to feal about Him. He wants us to know that He is ...read more

  • He Made Free Use Of Christian Vocabulary. He ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,578 views

    He made free use of Christian vocabulary. He talked about the blessing of the Almighty and the Christian confessions, which would become the pillars of the new government. He handed out pious stories to the press, especially to the church papers. He showed his tattered Bible and declared that he ...read more

  • The Murder/Suicide Of Chris Benoit (Professional ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 2, 2007
     | 2,662 views

    The murder/suicide of Chris Benoit (Professional Wrestler)is a vivid example of how decisions we make affect our families. Obviously in Benoit’s case his decisions have left his parents mourning the death of their son (the one who did the killing and suicide)and grandson. His wife’s parents are ...read more

  • When It Came To Fishing, Simon, Son Of Jonah, ...

    Contributed by Stephen Evoy on Jan 4, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,934 views

    When it came to fishing, Simon, son of Jonah, appears to have been an angler of dubious ability. There is no record that he ever caught a fish without divine intervention. Most likely, the accounts of those miraculous catches were included in the gospels to assure readers that there was a similar ...read more

  • S We Face A New Year With Unknown Challenges But ...

    Contributed by Jim Kane on Jan 7, 2008
     | 1,245 views

    s we face a new year with unknown challenges but also unknown opportunities, I encourage you to remember Mary and her simple but important faithfulness to the purposes of God. By some she is venerated, held in very high esteem. By others she is simply thought about once a year and then forgotten. ...read more

  • Some Of You Maybe You've Never Had A Good Church ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 2, 2008
     | 1,212 views

    Some of you maybe you’ve never had a good church experience. My wife Liza makes this great dessert – called the blueberry. Once you’ve tasted it, you’ll keep coming back for more. Don’t just be content to go to church to sing the songs and hear the stories about what God did in the past, but rather ...read more

  • But, When I Was Preparing My Studies Of This ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 3, 2008
     | 1,160 views

    But, when I was preparing my studies of this story, I came across a saying of one of the older preachers, who observed that, although little could be said for this blind man, there was this one thing: he was at least in a place where Jesus was likely to go. He was by the gate leading into the ...read more

  • The Idea That The People Were Lost And Didn't ...

    Contributed by Rick Bezanson on Jul 12, 2008
     | 2,104 views

    The idea that the people were lost and didn't know their way reminds me of a story of a drunk man who came home and his wife put him to bed. She was a very saintly woman and she said, "John do you want me to pray for you?" "Yes," he says. "Dear Lord, I pray for my husband ...read more

  • Bernard Goldstein Tells This ...

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Oct 6, 2008
     | 1,721 views

    Bernard Goldstein tells this story: One of my pet peeves as a musician in a symphony orchestra is trying to follow the unpredictable beat of famous guest conductors. I didn’t realize how strongly the rest of the musicians felt until we were talking to someone from a university physics department at ...read more

  • Old Fat Bald Hero

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on Sep 3, 2009
     | 8,814 views

    OLD FAT BALD HERO One of the great sports stories of the decade of the 1990’s was of George Foreman regaining the heavyweight boxing championship of the world. At age 45, George Foreman, more than a decade past the prime of most fighters, knocked out his opponent, Michael Moore, and regained the ...read more

  • No Forgiveness Over Dinner

    Contributed by Eugene Morell on Oct 13, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,500 views

    NO FORGIVENESS OVER DINNER In "What’s so Amazing About Grace," Philip Yancey tells a story about a man and wife who one night had an argument about how supper was to be cooked. The argument was so heated that they slept in separate rooms. Neither approached the other to say "I’m sorry" or to offer ...read more

  • Distortions

    Contributed by Perry Greene on Feb 29, 2012
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,792 views

    DISTORTIONS I know you have heard the story of the man that was on the ocean on a huge yacht. They had cruised for days and somehow had gotten lost. The captain noticed the owner’s little son had placed his toy magnet next to the casing around the compass. The magnetic force had distorted the ...read more

  • Hot Air

    Contributed by Jerry Cosper on Mar 7, 2012
     | 2,376 views

    HOT AIR When we were building this sanctuary we were discussing whether to put paper towel dispensers in the new rest rooms or those hot-air hand dryers. I strongly recommended the paper towel dispensers because of a story I heard about at another church. They installed the hot-air hand dryers. ...read more

  • Hell Is Past Calvary

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 28, 2012
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,829 views

    HELL IS PAST CALVARY Adrian Rogers once recalled hearing about a nightclub called "The Gates of Hades." The story goes that a newcomer to the city was looking for this nightclub and he stopped a policeman to ask directions. It just so happened that there was a church on that same street called ...read more

  • Baptism

    Contributed by Roy Fowler on Sep 13, 2020
     | 3,463 views

    The story is told about the baptism of King Aengus by St. Patrick in the middle of the fifth century. Sometime during the rite, St. Patrick leaned on his sharp-pointed staff and inadvertently stabbed the king's foot. After the baptism was over, St. Patrick looked down at all the blood, realized ...read more