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In Sermon Illustrations: "True Funny Story"

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  • Shattering The Untruths

    Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Mar 29, 2011
     | 1,715 views

    SHATTERING THE UNTRUTHS There's a short story by Carmen Corde that tells of a young woman who gives birth to a blind son. "I do not want my child to know that he is blind!" she informs family and neighbors, forbidding anyone to use telltale words such as 'light,' 'color,' and 'sight.' The boy ...read more

  • The Name Stradivarius Is Synonymous With Fine ...  PRO

    Contributed by Mark Hodges on Jun 16, 2001
    based on 82 ratings
     | 3,665 views

    The name Stradivarius is synonymous with fine violins. This is true because Antonius Stradivarius insisted that no instrument constructed in his shop be sold until it was as near perfection as human care and skill could make it. Stradivarius said, "God needs violins to send His music into the ...read more

  • When Attendees At A Drunk-Driving "Awareness ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 21, 2001
    based on 39 ratings
     | 1,784 views

    When attendees at a drunk-driving "awareness picnic" saw a woman being given a field sobriety test by police, they gathered around to watch the "demonstration." It wasn’t a demonstration: a police officer saw Linda M. Harris, 53, the coordinator of the Dona Ana County (N.M.) drunken-driving ...read more

  • A Woman Became Worried About Her Husband Who Went ...  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Fritz on Dec 3, 2001
    based on 6 ratings
     | 2,834 views

    A woman became worried about her husband who went to sea with the navy. Just as the man got ready to sail his wife handed a prayer request to her Pastor which stated: "George Bowen’s wife requests prayer for her husband’s safety who has gone to sea. Instead of conveying the true message the Pastor ...read more

  • I Remember Reading A Peanuts Cartoon Strip In ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2001
    based on 10 ratings
     | 1,696 views

    I remember reading a Peanuts cartoon strip in which Lucy comes up to her brother Charlie Brown and does something that is very unusual for her. She says--I love you. But Charlie Brown keeps responding by saying: no you don’t. And each time Lucy answers a little louder: yes I do, I really love you. ...read more

  • Pure As Ivory  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 25, 2002
    based on 9 ratings
     | 2,255 views

    PURE AS IVORY Early in her career, adult film star Marilyn Chambers appeared on Ivory Snow boxes, holding a sweet baby. As her screen popularity in X-rated movies grew, Ivory sought out a cover girl that better reflected its image of 99 44/100% purity. Are you a good cover model for God’s ...read more

  • How Do I Know We Need Women? According To The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Edwin Amundson on Jul 30, 2002
    based on 43 ratings
     | 2,214 views

    How do I know we need women? According to the United Nation's statistics: "Women constitute over 50 percent of the world's population. But women do three-fourths of the world's work, receive one-tenth of the world's salaries, and own one one-hundredth of the world's land." Women are major ...read more

  • An Optimist Believes We Live In The Best Of All ...  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Fritz on Jun 23, 2001
    based on 4 ratings
     | 2,218 views

    An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this is true. The tire is only flat on the bottom. Winners see risk as opportunity. They see the rewards of success in advance. They do not fear the penalties of failure. The winning individual knows that bad luck is ...read more

  • On Thursday When I Went To Pick Up My ...

    Contributed by Johann Neethling on Sep 3, 2003
     | 2,359 views

    On Thursday when I went to pick up my granddaughter from the Learning Center she is attending for the summer there was one of the kids balancing with arms outstretched on a skateboard without wheels and with one of those virtual reality visors on his head. He appeared to be having a blast – ...read more

  • My Father  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 24, 2003
    based on 8 ratings
     | 4,294 views

    My Father is very patient and kind. My Father is not envious, never boastful. My Father is not arrogant. My Father is never rude, nor is He self-seeking. My Father is not quick to take offense. My Father keeps no score of wrongs. My Father does not gloat over my sins but is always glad when truth ...read more

  • Dr. Paul Tourier Once Compared Life To A Man ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 11, 2003
     | 1,196 views

    Dr. Paul Tourier once compared life to a man hanging from a trapeze. The trapeze bar was the man’s security, his pattern of existence, his lifestyle. Then God swung another trapeze into the man’s view, and he faced a perplexing dilemma. Should he relinquish his past? Should he reach for the new ...read more

  • Everybody Longs For Freedom. But For Many ...  PRO

    Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Sep 29, 2004
    based on 14 ratings
     | 4,906 views

    Everybody longs for freedom. But for many people its pursuit leads to bondage. The greatly loved Bible teacher Henrietta Mears knew the secret of true freedom, and she wanted her students to know it too. With young people in mind, she said, "A bird is free in the air. Place a bird in the water ...read more

  • What We Leave Behind Is Not As Important As How ...

    Contributed by Clark Tanner on Sep 21, 2005
     | 1,854 views

    “What we leave behind is not as important as how we lived.” Capt. James T. Kirk to Capt. Jean Luc Picard, on “Star Trek – Generations” That declaration may be true to the degree that the phrase ‘what we leave behind’ refers only to material and tangible things. But ...read more

  • Passages Which Record Cases Of Actual Apostasy, 1 ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2006
     | 3,184 views

    Passages which record cases of actual apostasy, 1 Timothy 1:19,20; 2 Timothy 2:17, 18; 4:10; 2 Peter 2:1,2. But there is no proof that the persons mentioned were true believers. The Bible itself teaches that there are persons who profess the faith and yet are not of the faith, Romans 9:6; 1 John ...read more

  • G. K. Chesterton: The Christ-Child

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2006
     | 2,984 views

    The Christ-child lay on Mary’s lap, His hair was like a light. (O weary, weary is the world, But here is all aright.) The Christ-child lay on Mary’s breast, His hair was like a star. (O stern and cunning are the kings, But here the true hearts are.) The Christ-child lay on Mary’s heart, ...read more

  • Now The Picture Jesus Paints Is Of An Enemy ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Jun 2, 2009
     | 2,717 views

    Now the picture Jesus paints is of an enemy sowing some weeds. The plant most think is commonly called darnel or cockle earning the name “false wheat” as it looks so much like wheat especially in the early stages. It is common in Syria and Israel. The problem is that by the time it is developed ...read more

  • Taking Care Of ...

    Contributed by Larry Moyer on Aug 5, 2009
     | 4,168 views

    TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS The first Queen Elizabeth asked a man to go abroad for her on a business matter. He said, "I sincerely wish I could but I can’t. My own business is so demanding, it would suffer if I left." The Queen replied, "Sir, if you will attend to my business, I will take care of ...read more

  • God Said It, That Ends It

    Contributed by Charles Worth on Aug 7, 2009
     | 2,839 views

    GOD SAID IT, THAT ENDS IT One of my pet peeves is a bumper sticker. It reads; "God said it, I believe it and that ends it." Now many of you may think that is a reasonable statement. I, on the other hand, have a problem with it--you see, once God says it, THAT ends it. THAT makes it truth. Whether ...read more

  • Most Segregated Hour Of The Week

    Contributed by Engleburg Toney on Jan 18, 2010
     | 3,373 views

    MOST SEGREGATED HOUR OF THE WEEK Time magazine, in its January 11, 2010 issue, had an article in it about what a Chicago megachurch was doing to integrate its congregation. It even cited a quote from Dr. King. In 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. famously declared that "11 o’clock Sunday morning is the ...read more

  • And A Lot Of Times When We Think That The Thief ...

    Contributed by Lorenzo Edwards on Feb 20, 2008
     | 2,349 views

    And a lot of times when we think that the thief comes to steal us generally think that he comes to take some tangible things from us. You know something’s that we can feel something’s we can see. And when we think that, the enemy comes to kill we may generally think that he comes to kill our body ...read more