Contributed by John Braland on Apr 3, 2007
Here are some of the more humerous tombstone enscriptions found around the globe.
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
• In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 7 ratings
| 3,224 views
Humor Illustration: CHRISTIAN FOOTBALL!!
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Half-time - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer - Those who do
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Joel Vicente on Feb 14, 2005
based on 13 ratings
| 15,182 views
Illustrate Humor: WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My mother taught me RELIGION: When I spilled grape juice on the carpet, she instructed, "You better pray the stain will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me LOGIC: From her decisive words, "Because I said so, that’s why."
My mother taught me
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Baptist
Contributed by Robert Garrett on May 29, 2005
based on 14 ratings
| 2,815 views
“BUY ME OUT”
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.
"I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," he said. "To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn
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Baptist
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Jan 4, 2010
based on 1 rating
| 4,696 views
THE ADOPTION OF MICHAEL OHER
Michael Oher was born in Memphis, TN. His dad was murdered and his mom a cocaine addict. He didn’t have a permanent address until he was 16 and went to 11 schools in 9 years. At the age of 16, he had a measured IQ of 80.
Michael was staying with a friend whose son
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Dale Harlow on Dec 17, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 2,349 views
But there was a time when you got to Christmas and it all slowed down. You would have the week between Christmas and New Year’s sort of as the holiday. It is not that you didn’t work during that time, but things slowed down significantly. But like those hospital stays it has been shortened
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
based on 1 rating
| 2,658 views
A few years ago Dr. Nick Stinnett of the University of Nebraska conducted a group of studies called the "Family Strengths Research Project": Stinnett and his researchers identified six qualities that make for strong families. The first quality and one of the most important to be found in strong
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Feb 19, 2001
based on 155 ratings
| 5,377 views
Gen. Douglas MacArthur wrote this prayer for his son. He prayed: "Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, & brave enough to face himself when he is afraid. One who will be proud & unbending in honest defeat, & humble & gentle in victory.
"Build me a son
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Kenneth Squires on Jan 27, 2003
based on 12 ratings
| 5,986 views
Richard Dehaan tells of a soldier who was doing sentry duty on the front line in WWI. After being relieved of duty, as a Christian, he wanted to pray, to thank God for protecting him and to ask specifically for his continued protection. But the enemy lines were very close and he couldn’t go far, so
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Danny Thomas on Jun 5, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 2,419 views
Build Me a Son by General Douglas A. MacArthur
Build me a son, O Lord,
who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,
and brave enough to face him self when he is afraid;
one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,
and humble and gentle in victory.
Build me a son whose wishbone
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Oct 19, 2003
based on 11 ratings
| 2,181 views
Did you see the move Shallow Hal? It is a movie about an unattractive, really shallow middle-aged man named Hal Larsen who judges women on how “hot” they are. But then one day, Hal gets stuck on a stalled elevator with a motivational guru who helps him overcome his shallowness by hypnotizing him
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Denomination:
Methodist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 30, 2003
based on 5 ratings
| 3,623 views
NO MATTER WHAT
A number of years ago, there was a newspaper account of a speech given by the president of a well-known university to a group of influential businessmen and civic leaders. The president told of a recent experience which he, his audience, and the newspaper reporter found humorous.
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Contributed by Steve Malone on Apr 15, 2004
based on 12 ratings
| 1,774 views
Dick Alexander, Raw
It’s a word I never liked
Raw carrots are too hard
Raw oysters too slimy
Raw humor is too dirty
Raw skin is too painful
In fact raw applied to anything human sounds painful
But we live in a world of raw human need
It’s all around us
Do you ever wonder how many people struggle
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Paul Humphrey on Nov 23, 2005
based on 19 ratings
| 2,145 views
A man urgently needed to get to town. So he went to a neighbor who happened to be a pastor and asked to borrow his horse. The pastor obliged but told the man that there were some special instructions required for riding this particular horse. The preacher said, “since we need to begin our
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Denomination:
United Methodist
based on 1 rating
| 4,234 views
WHAT'S THAT NOISE?
I read a humorous story about a man who strolled out of a hardware store with a smile on his face and a brand-new chainsaw in his hands. He was told it could cut down five big oak trees in an hour. Twenty-four hours later, however, his smile was gone. Frustrated, he was back at
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Baptist
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 7, 2010
One of the great paradoxes of the Christian faith is that God wants us to talk to Him about everything that is going on in our lives, even though He already knows everything. So why pray?
If you’ve ever wrestled with that question, perhaps the thoughts of the 19th-century preacher, R. A. Torrey,
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Denomination:
Baptist
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