based on 1 rating
| 1,911 views
These are actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the
world-famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers
*Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Richard Francis on May 18, 2007
Don’t worry if you feel lost, not matter what it is Jesus loves you, turn to him today ask him for your meeting on the lake shore, lets all close our eyes now, imaging the mist, the gravel under your feet the smell of water and wood smoke, a beautiful aroma of fresh bread and fish sizzling on the
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jun 14, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 2,770 views
Charles Swindoll once said of his father:
My dad died last night. He left like he had lived. Quietly. Graciously. With dignity. Without demands or harsh words or even a frown. He surrendered himself into the waiting arms of his Savior. As I stroked his hair from his forehead and kissed him
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 2,671 views
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba’s neighbors were Catholic....And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 2,479 views
January 6, 1850, was bitterly cold in Colchester, England, a hard-biting blizzard keeping most worshipers at home.
At the Primitive Methodist Chapel on Artillery Street only about a dozen showed up.
When it became apparent that even the pastor would not arrive, a man rose and spoke from Isaiah
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Contributed by Timothy Smith on Aug 3, 2007
based on 7 ratings
| 1,923 views
Haddon Robinson tells the story of young Chinese boy who wanted to learn all about jade. He went to an old teacher who specialized in the beautiful gem and asked him to teach him. The old man agreed. In lesson 1 the old man placed a piece of the precious stone into the young man’s hand and told him
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Denomination:
Christian Church
There was once a little boy called Bob who had received a clown puppet for his birthday
he was so proud of this puppet that he wanted to take it to school and show it off
However after getting dressed for school
he couldn’t find it anywhere
he knew his little sister had probably taken it and
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Clint Palmer on Nov 22, 2007
based on 24 ratings
| 3,871 views
The story is told about a poor Widow lady with 5 Kids who Everyday came out on to her front porch, raised her hands to Heaven & Prayed out loud, “Lord, you know I have No food in my cabinets to feed my children today! Please provide our daily needs!”
Her next door neighbor was an “Atheist”
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
based on 17 ratings
| 3,509 views
Ah, life is so full of choices. Sometimes we choose wisely. Sometimes not so wisely---like the little boy whose older brother talked into letting him crack some eggs on his head. The two of them were getting ready to boil some eggs so they could decorate them for Easter when the older brother
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
based on 1 rating
| 2,388 views
We can glorify God by how we react to life and death.
Some of you know Dorothy Krist a lady who was a member of our congregation for over 20 years.
For much of that time Dorothy had cancer.
And she encouraged me to use her story whenever I saw fit.
She spent the last three months of her life in
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Brian Harvison on Apr 7, 2008
based on 3 ratings
| 3,134 views
You know there are some things that I hate
Like deviled eggs, there is nothing about deviled eggs that I like
I don’t like the smell, the looks, or especially the taste
Its safe to say I hate deviled eggs
Some people dislike boxing or NASCAR or competitive eating as a sport
Some hate bell bottom
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Terry Barnhill on May 9, 2009
When I was teaching Middle School, I faced a problem that’s common to all teachers. I’d be giving instructions to the class, and while I was talking, one or two hands would flip up into the air. They had a question. I wasn’t finished giving the instructions, and already they had questions. My
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Denomination:
Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Tim Harlow on May 13, 2009
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "You’re way too stupid to be trusted driving alone in bad weather at your age."
WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "Drive carefully, dear."
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "Honey, why don’t you put your head in a vice and I’ll turn the handle until your skull explodes."
WHAT SHE
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Sermon Central