Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 25, 2020
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A not-so- bright gal calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”
He asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The girl says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”
Her
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Amanda Wilson on May 2, 2007
In a book I was reading recently, a King found he had an illegitimate grandson, called Fitzchilvary, abandoned on his doorstep. And after some thought he says to Fitz, I want to make a bargain with you. I will feed you and clothe you and give you a home, education and employment if you will always
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Erasmus, the famous Renaissance scholar, once told a classic story which was designed to emphasize how important it is that we take up the torch of Christ’s ministry with great commitment. In the story, Jesus returns to heaven after his time on earth. The angels gather around him to learn all
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Denomination:
Episcopal/Anglican
Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Jun 11, 2007
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Illustration: Jesus, as an example
D. M. Stearns was preaching in Philadelphia. At the close of the service a stranger came up to him and said, “I don’t like the way you spoke about the cross. I think that instead of emphasizing the death of Christ, it would be far better to preach Jesus, the
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Denomination:
Other
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
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During Napoleon’s Austrian campaign his army advanced to within six miles of Feldkirch. It looked as though Bonaparte’s men would take Feldkirch without resistance. But as Napoleon’s army advanced toward their objective in the night, the Christians of Feldkirch gathered in a little church to pray.
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 4 ratings
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During a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico, a news report highlighted a rescue device used on the oil rigs. In case of fire or (in this case) hurricane, rig workers scramble into the bullet-shaped "bus" and strap themselves into their seats.
When the entry port is shut, the vehicle is released down
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Contributed by Warren Lamb on Jun 23, 2007
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When I was young, my grandfather was plowing with a team of oxen. One was a huge ox and the other a very small bullock. That ox towered over the little bullock that was sharing the work with him. It seemed such a silly picture, and I asked my dad about it. He said, "I want you to notice something.
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Jul 5, 2007
George Washington Carver said, "Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses."
Carver was no stranger to adversity and could have easily made excuses for not succeeding. But that wasn’t his way. Despite being born into slavery, he rose above his
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Nov 12, 2007
Early in the summer, we’ve gotten burned with corn on the cob. Inevitably some grocery in late May or early June have a huge sale on fresh corn on the cob. For several years we’ve tried it. I look forward to good corn on the cob. Yet, we have always gotten burned with this early corn. It is awful.
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Contributed by Paul Wallace on Nov 21, 2007
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Kelly Willard was the solo voice in many Maranatha Music Songs in the 80’s. She recorded 10 solo albums for her Lord. But in 2004 her world fell apart. Her marriage of 29 years ended in divorce, her parents died, and her 18 year old daughter Haylie committed suicide after battling severe
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
A family counselor named Jill Manning says, “I can unequivocally tell you pornography, especially Internet pornography with its violent, demeaning, or highly explicit messages, is damaging, not only for youths, but for many adults as well. It has lasting affect on social and sexual attitude and
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Paul Wallace on Dec 11, 2007
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There is a small tree which grows in Southeast Asia known as the Judas-tree. From its branches grow gorgeous blossoms. These blossoms look like scarlet sunbeams. The brilliant beauty of the crimson flowers attracts thousands of tiny insects. Wild bees also try to draw honey from their exquisitely
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Eric Peloquin on Dec 15, 2007
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One afternoon in 1965, Daniel Waswa, a citizen of Kenya, struggled up a hill and was crucified by his wife at his own direction. As he hung on the cross, he told the gathered crowd, “I am dying for the sins of all Kenyans.”
After nailing her husband to the cross, the woman collapsed on the ground
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Denomination:
Assembly Of God
c. ILLUSTRATION: When I think of this, I think about our desires to do great things.
1) We could go to a concert where a world-renowned musician plays a tune on a piano for 30 minutes straight.
2) It’s beautiful. It’s heavenly. It’s euphoric.
3) And what do we all say after an experience like
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sherm Nichols on Dec 31, 2007
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Here are some examples of instructions that, for one reason or another, weren’t made very clearly:
• “Do not sit in chair without being fully assembled”
• “Please take time to look over the brochure enclosed with your family”
• at a private school grounds: “No trespassing without
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Charles Wallis on Jan 30, 2008
Is this "Normal?" Why have we accepted dysfunction as normal?
"Dear Annie: My husband and I are separated and he moved in with his girlfriend six weeks ago. A few weeks ago, I had to call the girlfriend’s husband in order to pass along some information. "Harris" and I met for dinner and haven’t
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2008
based on 3 ratings
| 2,018 views
THIS WEEK I SAW THE MUCH PUBLICIZED FILM SAVING PRIVATE RYAN. THE MOVIE GRAPHICALLY PORTRAYED THE LANDING OF US FORCES ON OMAHA BEACH ON D-DAY, JUNE 6, 1944. AFTER VIEWING THE GRUESOME CARNAGE IN THE STEVEN SPEILBERG MOVIE, I SAW A NIGHTLINE EPISODE IN WHICH SEVERAL SURVIVORS OF D-DAY DISCUSSED
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Contributed by Brian Harvison on Apr 12, 2008
Is your faith the real thing?
There are many different flavors of faith available
Is your faith the real thing?
Diet Coke - says Coke, but without the guilt this is like the person that says they are saved, but lives however they want
Diet Caff. Free - says Coke, no guilt and no power, same as Diet
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Apr 14, 2008
There are many traditions we observe for which we have no reason or explanation. E.g., a person who spills salt will take a pinch of it and throw it over his left shoulder. I Googled it.
Superstitions about salt date back to biblical times when salt was a highly prized commodity. It was
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
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