In Sermon Illustrations: "Quotes"

I’d Rather Kiss A Goat

Contributed by James Snyder on May 15, 2023

There are very few things in my life I regret; at least that I can remember. One of the good things about getting old is that you can forget many things. The important thing is to forget the right thing, which is a challenge. You can be sure I work on this all the time. It takes a really good ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 12:36-37

Tags: Kiss, Goat, Accountability, Excuses

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

And Then It Was Silent No More

Contributed by James Snyder on May 23, 2020

During this time of exclusive lockdown, I and the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage have grown accustomed to silence. Don't get me wrong here. I do not object to noise as long as it's the right kind of noise. However, I do have a good warm feeling about silence. What was that song? ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 3:13

Tags: Books, Silence, Noise

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Don't Be A Casanova.

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Apr 2, 2022

CASANOVA was renown for his self-indulgence, lust and hundreds of affairs. He ended his life in deception. On his death bed at the age of 73, he never repented, but simply said "I have lived as a philosopher and die as a Christian!" He has become so famous for his affairs with women ...read more

Tags: Obedience, Lost, Unsaved, False Assurance, Hearers, Doers, Hell, Eternity, Deception, Salvation  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Down's Syndrome Boy Teaches His Class About Easter

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Mar 25, 2024

Little Philip, born with Down's syndrome, attended a third-grade Sunday School class with several eight-year-old boys and girls. Typical of that age, the children did not readily accept Philip with his differences, according to an article in Leadership Magazine. But because of a creative ...read more

Tags: Children, Easter, Resurrection, Empty Tomb, Special Needs Children, Jesus, Church  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Caesar Ruled.....but God Overruled!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Dec 20, 2020

"Augustus Caesar was ruling, but God was in charge, for He used Caesar's edict to move Mary and Joseph eighty miles from Nazareth to Bethlehem to fulfill His Word. Rome took a census every fourteen years for both military and tax purposes, and each Jewish male had to return to the city of ...read more

Scripture: John 1:1-12

Tags: Mary, Messiah, Christmas, Prophecy, History, Sovereignty Of God, Augustus Caesar  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Keep Looking Up!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 9, 2020

A father and son were driving down a country road and saw a watermelon patch a little way off the highway. The father told his son to keep a lookout while he went to get a melon. He snuck into the patch, took a melon and called to the boy, "Is anyone coming? Look both ways." The boy ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:1-12, Colossians 3:1-4

Tags: Temptation, Stealing, Looking Up

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

You Are Grounded!!!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Mar 15, 2022

THE PRODIGAL SON'S RETURN... We were sitting in Church a few weeks ago while the minister delivered a sermon based on the timeless story of the prodigal son. When he got to the point where the father sees his son returning and races out to meet him, the minister said loudly and with ...read more

Tags: Parables, Prodigal Son, Jokes, Prodigals, Children, Parents, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Mom Is The Best Preacher In The Family!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Apr 19, 2022

Dr. G. Campbell Morgan had 4 sons and they were all preachers. Someone once came into the living room when all the family was there. They thought they would see what Howard, one of the sons, was made of so they asked him this question: "Howard, who is the greatest preacher in your ...read more

Tags: Children, Mother's Day, Pastors, Mother, Preachers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Taking Your Cut

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 22, 2025

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "That's funny. When I lost my bag there was only a $100 bill in it. Now there are five $20 bills." The boy quickly replied, ...read more

Tags: Self Interest, Shrewd

Denomination: Independent/Bible

The Word Is Alive - Let It Flow Through You Even Once

Contributed by J Jeffrey Smead on Feb 28, 2026

A man told his pastor that he received no inspiration ... from reading trough the Bible. His response speaks volumes: "Let it flow through you once," replied the elderly pastor ... "Then you will tell a different story!" Beloved ... it is so alive that you must not look to ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 4:12-16, Isaiah 55:11

Tags: Alive, Word, Scriptures

Denomination: Anglican

Make Room For The Tide!

Contributed by Joshua Blackmon on Mar 12, 2022

"Years ago, a wealthy businessman from London chartered a bus to carry a busload of urban children to the coast. There, the children spent a wonderful day at the ocean. Many of the children had never left the city. Most had never seen the ocean. For one blissful day, they ran unfettered over ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:18

Tags: Make Room, Spirit Filled, Ocean, Full, Tide  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Pentecostal

Snakes

Contributed by David Goering on Nov 2, 2019

ILLUSTRATION: Gospel Tract Society, Inc., Independence MO -Snakes in an Atheist's Grave - Last September, while engaged in a Defenders Conference in Idaho, a gentleman by the name of Mr. C. M. Crew came to me with one of the strangest stories I had ever heard, about an atheist in Ohio who was ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:7

Tags: Atheist, Unbelief

Helping People Help Themselves

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 24, 2019

From Parade magazine comes the story of self-made millionaire Eugene Land, who greatly changed the lives of a sixth-grade class in East Harlem. Mr. Lang had been asked to speak to a class of 59 sixth-graders. What could he say to inspire these students, most of whom would drop out of school? He ...read more

Scripture: Revelation 1:4-8, Revelation 1:17-18

Tags: Wise Generosity, Benevolance, Help, Success

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Give Thanks In Everything

Contributed by James Dina on Dec 6, 2020

"In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you" (1 Thessalonians 5:18) If it is the will of God that we should give thanks in everything, then we should reduce our complain lest we go against His will. COMPLAINING IS CONTRARY TO THANKSGIVING. In ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Tags: Thanksgiving, Complain

Denomination: Pentecostal

The Narrow Definition Of Neighbor

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Mar 20, 2022

With their passion for definition, Jewish Rabbis sought to define who a man's "neighbor" was. They confined the word "neighbor" to include only their fellow Jews. For instance, some of them said that it was illegal to help a Gentile woman in her time of childbirth for ...read more

Tags: Kindness, Good Samaritan, Levites, Priests, Rabbis, Parable, Neighbor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Death And Vanity

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 29, 2022

A middle-aged, wealthy woman has a heart attack. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. She sees the angel at the gates and asks if this is it. The angel says no, she has another 30-40 years to live. She recovers, and decides to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 9:27, Proverbs 31:30, Mark 8:36, Matthew 16:26

Tags: Death, Beauty, Vanity

Denomination: Independent/Bible

The Story Of The Christian Lion

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 20, 2022

A missionary in Africa was walking through a jungle when he heard the ominous roar of a lion behind him. He was very scared and dropped immediately to his knees and started praying feverishly! "Oh Lord," prayed the missionary, “You know I have served you my whole life. I have even ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 33:3

Tags: Thanksgiving, Protection, Prayer, Humor

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

First-Time Fathers Are A Hoot!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jul 8, 2024

One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So, the proud new papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn’t stop ...read more

Tags: Dad, Children, Parents, Training, Fathers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

It's Time To Change The Diaper!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 12, 2024

One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands. So, the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn’t stop crying. ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, Romans 12:1-2

Tags: Salvation, Transformation, New Life, New Birth, New Creation, Changes, Trusting Jesus  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

God Gave Her A Flying Cat!  PRO

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 1, 2014

GOD GAVE HER A FLYING CAT! Have you heard the story about the pastor who had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc., but the kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 33:3

Tags: Prayer, Miracles, Prayer Answered

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational