In Sermon Illustrations: "Preacher Jokes"

Make A Wish

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 10, 2010

MAKE A WISH Have you ever dreamed of finding a genie in a lamp where you could get three wishes? Our Pastor, who is in charge of the prison ministry, always tells the same joke, because the prisoner population has a new turnover each time he visits. He always sets them up by asking if they had ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 13:16

Tags: Fool

No More Spit In Soup!

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 27, 2023

During WWII, a military unit in the Pacific hired a local boy to cook and clean for them. Being a bunch of jokesters, they quickly took advantage of the boy’s seeming naiveté. They smeared Vaseline on the stove handles so it would get all over his hands. They put buckets of water over the door ...read more

Scripture: Romans 12:12-15, Galatians 6:7

Tags: Judgment, Revenge, Sowing And Reaping, Confessions, Paybacks, Apologies  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Critical Thinking With Being Critical!" Matthew ...  PRO

Contributed by Mark Brunner on Jul 12, 2004

“Critical Thinking With Being Critical!” Matthew 7: 1-5 Key verse(s): 1-2 “‘Do not judge, or you too will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.’” Chuck Swindoll tells a humorous but rather sobering tale of the other side of the coin, the flip side that ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 7:1-5

Tags: Leadership General

Denomination: Lutheran

What's In A Name, Anyway?

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 16, 2019

I cannot express how ecstatic I was when someone gave me a coupon for a free donut. Normally, I am not overly excited about “free.” All I had to do was fill out a little survey online and they would send me a code that would guarantee me a free donut. In my “daily diary diet,” I have a whole ...read more

Scripture: John 8:32

Tags: Freedom, Choice

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

When Everything Goes My Way

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 7, 2020

I have had a certain dream many times over the years. Of course, it might lean towards being a nightmare if it does not come true. The dream is that one day in the week; I can have everything go my way. The nightmare part of that dream is that it never tells me which day everything will go my ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Partnership, Together, Choice

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

How Many Of You All Want To Go To Heaven? I ...

Contributed by Paul Humphrey on Nov 8, 2006

How many of you all want to go to heaven? I recall the story of a preacher asking that question to his congregation one Sunday morning, and everyone but one older lady in the back raised their hands. After the service he asked the woman why she didn’t raise her hand. “Don’t you ...read more

Tags: Death

Denomination: United Methodist

One Full Hour

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on May 1, 2008

ONE FULL HOUR Mark McCormack, author of What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School, says that he spends a full hour each day deciding how to invest the other twenty-three hours. If we will take time out of each day to bring our worries to God, and seek his guidance for every ...read more

Tags: Prayer Persistence

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Scottish Minister Alexander Whyte Was Known For ...

Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on May 28, 2008

Scottish minister Alexander Whyte was known for his uplifting prayers in the pulpit. He always found something for which to be grateful. One Sunday morning the weather was so gloomy that one church member thought to himself, "Certainly the preacher won't think of anything for which to thank the ...read more

Tags: Attitude General

Hope Of A Good Day

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2008

Hope of a Good Day Max Lucado, preacher and writer, teaches that "every day deserves a chance." He feels so strongly about it, he wrote a book with the same title. Regardless of what is in our day, if we give it a chance, it can become a "good" day. Of course, coupled with this thought is the ...read more

Tags: Endurance

Charles Spurgeon Wrote, "If I Have Wickedness ...

Contributed by Paul Barreca on Dec 24, 2011

Charles Spurgeon wrote, "If I have wickedness brought before me by others I will turn away from it, I will not gaze upon it with pleasure. Not only shall it not dwell in his heart, but not even before his eyes, for what fascinates the eye is very apt to gain admission into the heart," (Spurgeon, ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 101:3

Tags: Television And Movies

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Dad's Alarm

Contributed by Paul Collins on Sep 7, 2009

DAD'S ALARM A father wrote about what happened when his son David was about five years old. They attended a church where it was common for the preacher to invite children to the front for a special sermon. On one particular morning, he brought up a smoke detector and asked the children if anyone ...read more

Tags: Father's Day

Denomination: Baptist

The Pond Of The Soul

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 15, 2012

THE POND OF THE SOUL Thomas Fuller (English preacher of 1600’s) wrote: "Almost 20 years ago I heard a profane jest and still I remember it. How many pious passages of a far later date have I utterly forgotten? It seems my soul is like a filthy pond where fish die soon ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:22-24

Tags: Holiness

Who Flatters The King  PRO

Contributed by Perry Greene on Nov 14, 2012

WHO FLATTERS THE KING Francois Fenelon was the court clergy for King Louis XIV of France in the 17th century. One Sunday when the king and his attendants arrived at the chapel for the regular service, no one else was there but the preacher. King Louis demanded, "What does this mean?" Fenelon ...read more

Tags: Worship General

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Purpose Of Preaching

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 25, 2021

Warren Wiersbe, "Preaching must be marked by three elements: conviction, warning, and appeal ("reprove, rebuke, exhort"). To quote an old rule of preachers, "He should afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted." If there is conviction but no remedy, we add to ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Comfort, Preaching, Pastors, Conviction, The Word Of God  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Dr. Alexander Whyth Of Edinburgh Is An Example Of ...  PRO

Contributed by David Fox on Nov 15, 2001

Dr. Alexander Whyth of Edinburgh is an example of an unusually thankful Christian. “He was famous for his pulpit prayers. He always found something to thank God for, even in bad times. One story morning, a member of his congregation thought to himself, the preacher will have nothing to thank ...read more

Tags: Thanksgiving Holiday, Joy, Human Body

Denomination: Pentecostal

V. Chuck Colson Says, "The Ship Is Sinking. ...  PRO

Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 1, 2004

V. Chuck Colson says, “The ship is sinking. We’re not going to have any society left if we don’t protect the marriage bond. And the homosexual movement is trying to unravel it. You’ve got to stop it. We have got to talk about this lovingly, openly and honestly. I think this is the #1 ...read more

Tags: Homosexuality, Marriage General

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

When He Was The Pastor Of The Methodist Church ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

When he was the pastor of the Methodist church in Scarborough, William Sangster had an eccentric member who tried to be a zealous Christian. Unfortunately, the man was mentally deficient and usually did the wrong thing. While working as a barber the man lathered up a customer for a shave, came at ...read more

Tags: Evangelism How To

Andrew Murray The Great South African 19th ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

Andrew Murray the great South African 19th Century preacher put it like this: The Spirit teaches me to yield my will entirely to the Will of the Father. He opens my ear to wait in great gentleness and teachableness of soul for what the Father has day by day to speak and teach. He discovers to me ...read more

Tags: God's Provision

Dr. R.g. Lee

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

Dr. R.G. Lee A noted Southern Baptist preacher, the late Dr. R. G. Lee, once preached a blistering sermon against sin and the devil. He didn’t pull any punches. A lady whose feathers had been ruffled met him at the door and said, “I didn’t appreciate that sermon one ...read more

Tags: Satan, Substitution, In The Place Of, School Boy, Classroom  (view more)  (view less)

Since 1991 Dr. Haddon W. Robinson Has Held The ...

Contributed by R. David Reynolds on Jan 27, 2008

Since 1991 Dr. Haddon W. Robinson has held the Harold John Ockenga Distinguished Professor of Preaching Chair at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in South Hamilton, Massachusetts. In a poll taken by Baylor University in 1996 he was named one of twelve most effective preachers in the ...read more

Tags: Covetousness

Denomination: Methodist