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In Sermon Illustrations: "preacher jokes" showing 561-580 of 1,735

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  • Years Ago New Engineers In The Lamp Division Of ...

    Contributed by Mark Brunner on Feb 6, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,971 views

    Years ago new engineers in the Lamp Division of General Electric were assigned, as a joke, the impossible task of frosting light bulbs on the inside. None of the engineers took the assignment seriously since frosting a bulb on the inside was not a possibility by engineering standards. Eventually, ...read more

  • Nelson Mandela Was Recently Interviewed On Oprah. ...

    Contributed by Philip Cairns on Feb 1, 2002
     | 1,928 views

    Nelson Mandela was recently interviewed on Oprah. It was a great interview. Oprah asked him the question - "What was the #1 reason for your success - keeping sane in prison, remaining humble as a leader?" Mandela’s answer was strong and unequivocal - the most important thing, much more important ...read more

  • Cured  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 11, 2002
    based on 7 ratings
     | 4,095 views

    CURED A woman went to her doctor’s office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in ...read more

  • Golf Beginner  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 12, 2003
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,211 views

    *Golf Beginner* A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first ...read more

  • The General Took His Stand

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on Jan 23, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,098 views

    Illus.: “The General Took His Stand” Fredrick the Great of Germany, was a scoffer, but his great general, Von Zealand, was a devout Christian. One day at a gathering, the king was making coarse jokes about Jesus and the whole palace was ringing with laughter. Von Zealand arose stiffly and said, ...read more

  • The General Took His Stand  PRO

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on Jan 23, 2008
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,364 views

    Illus.: “The General Took His Stand” Fredrick the Great of Germany, was a scoffer, but his great general, Von Zealand, was a devout Christian. One day at a gathering, the king was making coarse jokes about Jesus and the whole palace was ringing with laughter. Von Zealand arose stiffly and said, ...read more

  • During One Of His Political Campaigns, A ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,361 views

    During one of his political campaigns, a delegation called on Theodore Roosevelt at his home in Oyster Bay, Long Island. The President met them with his coat off and his sleeves rolled up. "Ah, gentlemen," he said, "come down to the barn and we will talk while I do some work." At the barn, ...read more

  • Wailing And Laughing  PRO

    Contributed by Ovidiu Radulescu on May 26, 2009
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,352 views

    WAILING AND LAUGHING Now, you may realize that in those days in Middle-Eastern custom, people usually wailed loudly at funerals. I grew up in a Greek Orthodox country and until today the custom requires a loud and visible weep for the dead. Can you imagine how perplexed I was when I watched people ...read more

  • The Use Of God's Gifts

    Contributed by Sean Harder on Dec 9, 2009
     | 2,282 views

    THE USE OF GOD'S GIFTS How much did Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys spend on the New Texas Stadium? 1.15 billion dollars. They joke that there is a hole in the top of the stadium so that God can watch his favorite team play. I’m not so sure Mr. Jones doesn’t believe that. We look at ...read more

  • Right Under His Nose  PRO

    Contributed by Derrick Tuper on Jun 11, 2010
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,876 views

    RIGHT UNDER HIS NOSE Sometimes we probably feel like the man whose grandchildren played a practical joke on him. Each afternoon, Grandpa would lie down for a nap. One day, the kids decided to put limburger cheese in his moustache. Quite soon afterward, he awoke sniffing. "This room stinks," he ...read more

  • The Public Scavenger

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 21, 2011
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,966 views

    THE PUBLIC SCAVENGER A long time ago in Greece, some politicians decided to play a joke on a fellow politician in their group. They got him appointed to the post of Public Scavenger. It was a dirty, lowly post. But instead of being humiliated, the man decided he would show everybody what he could ...read more

  • Josh Mcdowell On Why People Refuse To ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 4, 2012
     | 3,436 views

    JOSH MCDOWELL ON WHY PEOPLE REFUSE TO BELIEVE Josh McDowell writes, “People refuse to believe that which they don’t want to believe, in spite of evidence. When explorers first went to Australia they found a mammal which laid eggs; spent some time in water, some on land; had a broad, flat tail, ...read more

  • Betting On Goliath  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Apr 2, 2013
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,453 views

    BETTING ON GOLIATH Death was handled differently in the ancient world. An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year old ...read more

  • New Years Football Or Family?

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 24, 2021
     | 2,498 views

    . As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself. Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some ...read more

  • Some Things Seem Too Good To Be True

    Contributed by James Snyder on Mar 21, 2020
     | 2,491 views

    Recently I discovered something. The more I try to keep up with the latest trend, the further behind I get. I am not a complete technical idiot, but I'm not too far off. The only thing I can say about me is that I at least try. The best example of all of this has to do with my cell phone. Is ...read more

  • The Genius Of Quotation Is Abroad. Public ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 12, 2007
     | 813 views

    "The genius of quotation is abroad. Public speakers, preachers, pleaders, and teachers are wont to enrich their addressess ...read more

  • If You Lack

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,667 views

    Preacher Vance Havner said, “If you lack knowledge, go to school. If you lack ...read more

  • How Do You Feel About People? A Pastor Arranged ...  PRO

    Contributed by Russell Brownworth on Feb 2, 2001
    based on 248 ratings
     | 4,849 views

    How do you feel about people? A pastor arranged for a gathering of the women’s auxiliary. It was to be a garden party on the church lawn, under the old oak. At the last moment, the morning of the party, Mrs. Preacher discovered she left Sister Hissyfit off the invitation list. The parson ...read more

  • I Am Reminder Here Of A Church Nursery, The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Gary Huckaby on Mar 5, 2003
    based on 52 ratings
     | 1,718 views

    I am reminder here of a Church nursery, The Church had a speaker located in the nursery so the ladies could hear the preachers sermon, as they worked with the children. Often during the sermon, the preacher would raise his voice in a loud tone in order to get his message point across. In the ...read more

  • Wouldn't God Show Through?

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,630 views

    One Sunday on their way home from church, a little girl turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, the preacher’s sermon this morning confused me. The mother said, "Oh? Why is that?" The little girl replied, "Well, he said that God is bigger than we are. Is that true?" The mother replied, "Yes, that’s ...read more

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