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In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Jokes"

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  • Before We Are Too Harsh In Judging Those Scribes ...  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Fritz on Jun 11, 2002
    based on 11 ratings
     | 2,056 views

    Before we are too harsh in judging those scribes and Pharisees of Jesus’ day, let’s stop and look at ourselves. All too many Christians today go to church to find fault, to gossip, and to criticize. Warren Wiersbe, in his book Angry People, wrote, "An incident in the life of Joseph Parker, the ...read more

  • A Mother Wakes Up Her Son One Morning And Says, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Donald Smith on Apr 23, 2003
    based on 9 ratings
     | 3,941 views

    A mother wakes up her son one morning and says, “Honey, it’s time to get ready for church.” The son replies, “But mom, I don’t want to go to church today!” The mother persisted, “But you have to go to church!” The son again responded, “I don’t want to go to church mom!” The mother said…, “You ...read more

  • On February 15, 2003, The Exploits River ...

    Contributed by Pat Cook on Sep 4, 2003
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,573 views

    On February 15, 2003, the Exploits River overflowed its banks and flooded the town of Badger, Newfoundland. The temperature quickly dropped to –30C, -22F, and encased much of the town, twisting and buckling walls and foundations. All of the town’s 906 residents were evacuated. And many people, ...read more

  • On February 15 Of This Year, The Exploits River ...

    Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Sep 28, 2004
     | 1,790 views

    On February 15 of this year, the Exploits River overflowed its banks and flooded the town of Badger, Newfoundland. The temperature quickly dropped to –30C, -22F, and encased much of the town, twisting and buckling walls and foundations. All of the town’s 906 residents were evacuated. And many ...read more

  • A Friend Told Me About A Man Who Had Come To Him ...

    Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Nov 1, 2004
     | 2,559 views

    A friend told me about a man who had come to him with a prayer request. He had purchased a lottery ticket that would pay him $100,000 if it turned out to be the "lucky" one. He asked my friend, who was a pastor, to pray that his number would be picked so he could give one-tenth of his winnings to ...read more

  • We Can Learn A Lot About Being A Friend From ...  PRO

    Contributed by Larry Jacobs on Jul 9, 2005
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,919 views

    We can learn a lot about being a friend from "MAN’S BEST FRIEND" Someone has said, "Only God and my dog can love me unconditionally". When I pastored in Pensacola, Fl., my wife and I had two Boston Terriers. There names was Sissie and Alphie. My wife said to me one day, "I think you love those ...read more

  • Church Loyalty: What Keeps Members And Seekers ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 10, 2006
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,397 views

    Church Loyalty: What keeps members and seekers attending their church on a regular basis? Currently 1 out of 7 adults changes churches each year while 1 out of 6 attends a handful of churches on a rotating basis. Ranked by importance, Barna Research says these are the 10 critical factors in ...read more

  • New Megachurch Research A Major New Study Of ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 18, 2006
     | 1,180 views

    New Megachurch Research A major new study of megachurches shows that 93% of churches with an average weekly attendance of at least 2,000 are found in the South, the West and the Midwest. The states with the largest concentration are California, Texas, Florida and Georgia. Dr. Scott Thumma, faculty ...read more

  • Giving More ►$3 Out Of Every $4 Donated By ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 18, 2006
     | 1,410 views

    Giving More ►$3 out of every $4 donated by individuals in ’03 went to churches, synagogues and other religious worship centers, according to a Barna Group report. ►63% of households donated some money to a church, synagogue or other place of religious worship during ‘03. ►The mean ...read more

  • Confusing Beliefs: Although A Statement Passed By ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 3, 2006
     | 2,605 views

    Confusing Beliefs: Although a statement passed by the Presbyterian Church (USA) 2001 General Assembly affirmed salvation through Jesus, recent survey results from the denomination reveal some puzzling beliefs among its clergy and laity. The survey found that at least 70% of members, elders and ...read more

  • There's A Verse Of A Hymn With This Line: 'the ...

    Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on Oct 30, 2006
     | 2,569 views

    There’s a verse of a hymn with this line: ’The Lord hath yet more light and truth to break forth from His Word.’ (George Rawson). They are based on the words of Pastor John Robinson as the Pilgrim Fathers set sail from Plymouth in 1620, leaving their homeland for an unknown future. Like them, we ...read more

  • Which Kind Are You?

    Contributed by Douglas Duvall on Nov 13, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,770 views

    “Which Kind Are You?” A lot of Christians are like wheelbarrows—not good unless pushed. Some are like kites—if you don’t keep a string on them, they fly away. Some are like kittens—they are more contented when petted. Some are like a football—you can’t tell what way they will bounce next. Some are ...read more

  • He Is Risen!

    Contributed by Thomas Cash on Apr 7, 2009
     | 3,791 views

    HE IS RISEN! One Sunday morning a pastor was dressing for church and had the radio on listening to a local church service. Suddenly he heard to minister say, "It’s Easter, and it doesn’t make any difference if Christ be risen or not..." Shocked, A.H. Ackley shouted, "It’s a lie! He is risen!" ...read more

  • This Is Not Going To Be A Debate About Creation ...

    Contributed by Sean Harder on Jun 24, 2009
     | 3,723 views

    This is not going to be a debate about creation or evolution, but I do want to share a quote from a well known pastor named Randy Croft: Astrophysicists have found that there are over 60 criteria that are necessary for life on earth. For you and me to live. Life could not exist or form if any one ...read more

  • Sheep Know Shepherd's ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 21, 2009
     | 10,222 views

    Sheep Know Shepherd’s Voice The contrast with the shepherd is even greater for the shepherd knows each sheep by name and his sheep follow his voice alone. Lloyd Ogilvie, the former Chaplain of the Senate and Pastor of Hollywood Presbyterian Church tells of being in the Middle East and watching a ...read more

  • Missionary Martyred In ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 11, 2010
     | 4,842 views

    Missionary Martyred in India That reminds me of a story I read about a missionary in India last month who was constructing a new church when he was killed by an extremist anti-Christian group. He had gone to a nearby town to purchase materials for the final phase of construction but never returned. ...read more

  • What We Really Want

    Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Feb 22, 2011
     | 1,438 views

    WHAT WE REALLY WANT A woman lay in a hospital bed, her body ravaged by cancer. Day after day her pastor and others prayed for her healing. Each day they could see her silent disappointment that she was not being healed. Then one day she said, "Let's not pray that I'll be healed. God knows that I ...read more

  • Higher Ground

    Contributed by John Putty on Apr 5, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,821 views

    HIGHER GROUND The old hymn, “Higher Ground” is a spiritual declaration of one determined man Johnson Oatman, Jr. put to music! While some refuse to believe that our personal faith plays any real role in our spiritual growth and in experiencing Christian victory, in all my 20 years of preaching ...read more

  • The Lack Of Evangelism

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 6, 2011
     | 5,941 views

    THE LACK OF EVANGELISM (Evangelism Statistics from Michael Parrot, Acts Evangelism, Spokane, WA, 1993, pp. 9-11.) • Ninety-five percent of all Christians have never won a soul to Christ. • Eighty percent of all Christians do not consistently witness for Christ. • Less than two percent are ...read more

  • The Reverend And The Rose

    Contributed by Larry Wilson on Aug 30, 2011
     | 2,889 views

    THE REVEREND AND THE ROSE Rev. Jerry Parnell, pastor of the Canaan Baptist Church of Anderson, South Carolina, will often conclude one of his sermons with an illustration using a live rose. He tells how that God gives us a fresh flowing in life, but that over the course of time we make bad ...read more