In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Jokes"

What Are We Voting For?

Contributed by Dan Thompkins on Jan 11, 2008

WHAT ARE WE VOTING FOR? A parishioner had dozed off to sleep during the morning service. “Will all who want to go to heaven, please stand?” the pastor asked.” – All stood, except the sleeping parishioner. After they sat, the pastor continued, “Well, will all who want to go to the other place ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:29-30, Mark 9:43-48

Tags: Death, Heaven, Salvation

Denomination: Pentecostal

The Word Of God Sent Through The Prophets

Contributed by Pastor Amos Dele Dada on Jun 7, 2013

THE WORD OF GOD SENT THROUGH THE PROPHETS You want success - believe the word of God he has sent through his prophets. Period. Imagine The German Army and the USA Army and United Kingdom Army gathered against Canadian Army. And God sends Pastor Dada, call him a Prophet for this purpose to the ...read more

Tags: Basics Of Christianity

Denomination: Pentecostal

Grace The Free Gift

Contributed by Pastor Norman Bailey, Overseer on Aug 11, 2018

If you went to work everyday and did the job that was required of you, you could demand a paycheck. You can go to your supervisor, and payroll to find out what is going on because you earned the pay that you worked so hard for. We can never work so hard to demand that God save us from sin. It was ...read more

Tags: Love Life, Grace Gift

Denomination: Pentecostal

Who Is Really Lost?

Contributed by Pastor Norman Bailey, Overseer on Aug 12, 2018

Sometimes in life we are so quick to judge others when they have short comings. It may be true that we may know folk that have short comings in life. They may make wrong choices in life and end up trouble. It is our responsibility to always pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Everybody is ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:11-32

Tags: Attitude Of Christ, Love And Compassion

Denomination: Pentecostal

So What If I’m Crazy?

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 17, 2024

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and her wonderful husband are celebrating 53 years of marital bliss this year. What an accomplishment! It doesn’t seem possible that we have been married 53 years. After all, we don’t look that old! At least she doesn’t. It’s amazing how time flies; if ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Unity, Relationships, Crazy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Consider The Following ...

Contributed by Ricki Lee Brooks on May 10, 2010

Consider the following exchange… “That’s easy for you to say; you’ve never been through what I’m dealing with!” “Yes, I think you’re right. Certainly, I do not know just how you feel. In fact, no one has ever experienced the exact same thing you are going through. No one ever will. No one, of ...read more

Tags: Dealing With Conflicts

Onward Christian Soldier  PRO

Contributed by Dave Kinney on Oct 11, 2008

Onward Christian Soldier It was 1854. Pastor Dudley Tyng was voted as the new pastor of a Philadelphia church at only 29 years old. At first the work went well until he started to preach against the sin of slavery – at that point to church did not want to make anyone mad so they told him to shut ...read more

Tags: Zeal

Denomination: Baptist

I Never Will Forget Hearing The Testimony Of A ...  PRO

Contributed by John Williams Iii on Feb 10, 2003

I never will forget hearing the testimony of a pastor whose experience I heard on tape one day in class, when I was in seminary. I do not remember the pastor’s name. But, I can recall most of what he said when he gave the testimony that I am about to share with you. He said, "When I first started ...read more

Tags: Compassion, Church Purpose Of

Denomination: United Methodist

Praying For Your Prosperity

Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 18, 2011

PRAYING FOR YOUR PROSPERITY One day a man was walking with this pastor. He knew this pastor was living in horrible poverty in Ethiopia, and he made the mistake of showing a little bit of what he thought would be gracious sympathy. He told the Ethiopian pastor, brother, we pray for you in your ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 30:7-9

Tags: Poverty

Preachers Who Make You Throw Up!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Aug 12, 2019

A Pastor was doing his Children's Church sermon where all the kids come down to the front & hear a story. The Pastor was discussing the story of Jonah. He quoted the Scripture from Jonah: "The Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah upon the dry land." When the Pastor ...read more

Scripture: Jonah 2:1-7

Tags: Jonah, Bad Preaching, Children's Church, Embarrassing Moments

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

#8230; Claire Schenot Burkat, "Five ...  PRO

Contributed by Troy Borst on Aug 29, 2001

ILLUSTRATION… Claire Schenot Burkat, "Five Myths of the Perfect Pastor" His sermons were over their heads. His opinionated views alienated his colleagues. Coworkers found him boastful, even arrogant. A physical disability drove him to over-function in ministry. The first two congregations he ...read more

Tags: Heart-Soul, Leadership General, Paul, Apostles General, Surrender  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Melody Is Standing At The Pulpit, With Her Head ...  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2008

Melody is standing at the pulpit, with her head bowed as she is praying. (This script is in front of her.) The pastor is in the back of the sanctuary, with a microphone. - - - - - - - - BEGINNING OF SKIT - - - - - - - Melody: Our Father Who Art In Heaven. Pastor: Yes? Melody: (looking around ...read more

A Friend Was In Front Of Me Coming Out Of Church ...  PRO

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Dec 23, 2006

“A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is ready to shake hands. The Pastor grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside and said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I’m already in ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 10:25, Romans 12:5

Tags: Church Body, Church General, Commitment, Body Of Christ, Attendance  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Anglican

Army Of The Lord

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 12, 2011

ARMY OF THE LORD A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm ...read more

Tags: Church Body Of Christ

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Top Ten Preachers  PRO

Contributed by Gordon Curley on Oct 7, 2012

TOP TEN PREACHERS A man wrote to a pastor of a large Church saying, "I am visiting your city and I would like to preach in your Church." The pastor wrote back saying, "Thank you for the offer but we are already sorted for in this area." The man wrote again saying, "I feel I ought to preach ...read more

Tags: Preaching

Denomination: Brethren

A Time Better Served on January 9, 1985, A...  PRO

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Apr 25, 2002

A TIME BETTER SERVED On January 9, 1985, a Congregational pastor in Bulgaria named Christo Kuleczef, was arrested and put in jail. His crime was preaching in his church, just like I am right now. It was a crime because the week before the village committee had appointed a new pastor. The secular ...read more

Tags: Endurance, God In The Hardships, Human Body

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Charlie's Thanksgiving List

Contributed by Perry Hancock on Nov 22, 2022

Charlie’s Thanksgiving List The pastor at the downtown men’s shelter was ready to begin the Thanksgiving service. Everyone was ready for him to begin and finish since the service was before the meal. After a few hymns were sung, it was time for the pastor’s Thanksgiving sermon. This year he had ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 103:2

Tags: Thanksgiving, God's Blessings

Denomination: Baptist

A Church For 57 Cents

Contributed by Dave Kinney on Aug 9, 2008

A CHURCH FOR 57 CENTS It was 1938 when a little girl went to church for the first time. She was found sobbing loudly by the pastor and he asked her what the problem was. She said, "I can't go in the class because there's no more room." Pastor Larry picked the little shabby dressed, unkepted girl ...read more

Tags: Church Growth

Denomination: Baptist

The Tablecloth  PRO

Contributed by Tim Smith on Feb 19, 2012

THE TABLECLOTH The brand new pastor and his wife were assigned to their first church in Brooklyn and were to reopen it. They arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw the church, it was run down and needed a lot of work. They set a goal to have everything done in ...read more

Tags: Christmas

Denomination: Methodist

Best Christmas Illustration Ever!  PRO

Contributed by Tim Smith on Aug 13, 2017

The brand new pastor and his wife were assigned to their first church in Brooklyn and were to reopen it. They arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw the church, it was run down and needed a lot of work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 3:1

Tags: Christmas, Advent, Christmas Reunion

Denomination: Methodist