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In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

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  • Bridal Nerves  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 5, 2002
    based on 11 ratings
     | 2,833 views

    I read about a bride who sought advise on how to deal with her nerves as she processed to the altar at the start of her wedding. The pastor suggested that she remember to keep her eyes first on the isle. Then, upon turning the corner, to focus on the altar. And. finially, as she drew ...read more

  • A Bar Is The Closest Thing To A Church The World ...  PRO

    Contributed by Tad Mills on Jan 26, 2004
    based on 40 ratings
     | 2,018 views

    A bar is the closest thing to a church the world has. The TV Show “Cheers” was set in the friendliest bar you’ve ever seen. Sam was like the pastor The bartenders like were the deacons Waitresses were like the greeters and ushers It’s almost like a counterfeit church. “Where Everybody Knows ...read more

  • When John G. Mitchell, Of Multnomah School Of The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 12, 2005
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,404 views

    When John G. Mitchell, of Multnomah School of the Bible, was pastor of the First Presbyterian Church in Tacoma, Washington, he heard Dr. G. Campbell Morgan preach. The man knew his text, and young Mitchell was impressed. In fact, he asked the visiting Bible teacher how he understood Scripture so ...read more

  • When John G. Mitchell, Of Multnomah School Of The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2006
     | 2,251 views

    When John G. Mitchell, of Multnomah School of the Bible, was pastor of the First Presbyterian Church in Tacoma, Washington, he heard Dr. G. Campbell Morgan preach. The man knew his text, and young Mitchell was impressed. In fact, he asked the visiting Bible teacher how he understood Scripture so ...read more

  • Each Ministry Has An Individual Message For The ...

    Contributed by Kennith Hughes on Feb 16, 2007
     | 1,673 views

    Each ministry has an individual message for the body of Christ (spiritual food for a well-rounded diet in order to make the body healthy). In days past the church’s religionist didn’t allow for the full ministry but basically accepted the Pastor, Teacher, and Evangelist. Thus we were three fifths ...read more

  • Each Ministry Has An Individual Message For The ...

    Contributed by Kennith Hughes on Feb 16, 2007
     | 1,365 views

    Each ministry has an individual message for the body of Christ (spiritual food for a well-rounded diet in order to make the body healthy). In days past the church’s religionist didn’t allow for the full ministry but basically accepted the Pastor, Teacher, and Evangelist. Thus we were three fifths ...read more

  • Buying A New Chandelier

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,761 views

    Buying A New Chandelier The pastor called a special meeting of the congregation to approve the purchase of a brand new chandelier. After some discussion pro and con, an old farmer stood up and said, "Buying a new chandelier may seem like a good idea to you, but I’m against it for three ...read more

  • There Are Two (2) African Tribes Who Have An ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,888 views

    There are two (2) African tribes who have an unusual way of expressing thanks One of them, the Masai tribe, a pastoral and hunting people of Kenya and Tanzania, West Africa, bow and put their foreheads on the ground, and say, "My head is in the dirt." The other tribe, whose name I do not know, sit ...read more

  • The Teachings Of John Wesley Were Very ...

    Contributed by Don Hawks on Jun 22, 2007
     | 1,042 views

    The teachings of John Wesley were very instrumental in my identifying with the United Methodist approach to practicing the Christian life. Wesley of course was an 18th-century Anglican clergyman and Christian theologian who was an early leader in the Methodist movement. In addition to Wesley’s ...read more

  • In Australia The Early Prison Authorities Knew ...

    Contributed by Richard Schwedes on Oct 14, 2007
     | 1,060 views

    In Australia the early prison authorities knew this To control and break the really bad prisoners They developed a solitary confinement gaol at Port Arthur, Where prisoners could have no contact with anyone else they were kept in a dark cell and even the prison guards wore cloth on their feet when ...read more

  • God Tells Me  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Oct 29, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,602 views

    A little girl had a dad who was a pastor. “Daddy, how do you know what to preach on Sundays?” “God tells me,” responded the dad. “Then daddy, why do you crinkle up so many sheets of paper and toss them into the waste basket?” We are much better off saying, “I think God wants me to tell you this” ...read more

  • "David Had Eight Wives, Including Maacah, The...

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 12, 2008
     | 2,175 views

    "David had eight wives, including Maacah, the daughter of a king who ruled over the tiny nation of Geshur (2 Samuel 3:3). In the Psalms, we read about David’s struggles with God as his son was pursuing him, trying to kill him to steal his throne. But how did Maacah feel about this? Was she ...read more

  • Keeping The Aquarium

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on May 18, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,245 views

    KEEPING THE AQUARIUM "With all our education, our fine buildings, our image of the church, we are doing less to win people to Christ than our unschooled forefathers did. We're no longer fishers of men, but keepers of the aquarium, and we spend most of our time swiping fish from each other's bowl." ...read more

  • The Novel "Gilead" Is A Letter That The Old ...  PRO

    Contributed by Mike Wilkins on Mar 5, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,096 views

    The novel “Gilead” is a letter that the old Presbyterian pastor John Ames is writing to his young son to be read when the son is old enough to understand. He quotes the theologian Ludwig Feuerbach “Water is the purest, clearest of liquids; in virtue of this its natural character it is the image of ...read more

  • He Gave The ...

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on May 24, 2010
     | 2,502 views

    He GAVE the Blood! Ed Freeman, quoting Herb Cain, told in the San Francisco Chronicle about a poster for a blood bank. The poster read, “Be a volunteer Blood Donor.” Someone had wisely printed on the poster these words: “That’s the best kind.” If someone is taking your blood, and you are not a ...read more

  • A Few Need To ...

    Contributed by Larry Wilson on Aug 7, 2010
     | 1,957 views

    A Few Need to Die Warren Wiersbe, Be Strong. (p. 30) It is unfortunate but true that sometimes the only way a ministry can move forward is by conducting a few funerals. A pastor friend of mine pleaded with his church board to build a new educational [building] to house an exploding Sunday ...read more

  • I Don't Want To Be One!

    Contributed by Christopher Gregas on Sep 8, 2012
     | 2,830 views

    I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE! There was a pastor that was giving a "children’s sermon" to all the young children. And as they sate before him, a bright-eyed three-year-old girl listened intently as he explained that God wanted them all to get along and love each other. "God wants us all to be one," he ...read more

  • A Prerequisite To Forgiveness

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 31, 2022
     | 1,262 views

    A pastor finished his message early one Sunday and he wanted to check his congregation’s understanding. So he asked, “Can anyone tell me what you must do before you can obtain forgiveness of sin?” There was a short pause and then, from the back of the room, a small boy spoke up, “You have to ...read more

  • Jesus Is The Gospel.

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on May 19, 2016
     | 7,277 views

    JESUS IS THE GOSPEL. "Fundamentally, our Lord’s message was Himself. He did not come merely to preach a Gospel; He himself is that Gospel. He did not come merely to give bread; He said, "I am the bread." He did not come merely to shed light; He said, "I am the light." He did not come merely to ...read more

  • A Painless Way To Give In Church

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Nov 20, 2019
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,712 views

    Having a little trouble with giving at the church? Maybe we could all learn a little lesson from the old country preacher who told everyone to stand up at the beginning of the offering. He then instructed everyone to lean forward to the person standing in front of them and grab their purse or ...read more