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In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

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  • Some People Have Such Bad Nerves That They ...

    Contributed by Tony Abram on Jan 25, 2007
     | 1,229 views

    1.Some people have such bad nerves that they cannot sleep in church. 2. If people sleep during the sermon, the pastor needs to wake up. 3. Sometimes how well you sleep depends on how little you lie. 4. If you cannot sleep at night, don’t count sheep, talk to the ...read more

  • The Gospel

    Contributed by Dr. Fred W. Penney on Dec 9, 2024
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,355 views

    Pastor Martin Niemoeller confronted Hitler’s corruption of the German church and spent 8 years in prison. In 1945 he was freed by American forces. Remarkably he lived to the age of 92. A few days before his death he wrote - "when I was young I felt ...read more

  • Praying In The Hay

    Contributed by Guy Caley on May 5, 2003
     | 3,043 views

    PRAYING IN THE HAY Armin Gesswein learned about praying God’s promises in a hayloft. Armin was a longtime Pastor, interdenominational prayer organizer and founder of the "Revival Prayer fellowship." When he began as a young Lutheran pastor trying to establish a church on Long Island and having ...read more

  • Ticket When Going To Train Station-Going 60 In 40 ...

    Contributed by Myriam Salcedo-Gonzalez on Dec 2, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,557 views

    Ticket when going to train station-going 60 in 40 zone. I wanted to fight it! The radar was wrong. When was the last time they checked it? I had just come out from a stop sign and the road was uphill, how could I be going 60? Impossible! Good thing I was not close to the my church! Can you imagine, ...read more

  • But We Must Focus On The ...

    Contributed by Brian Harvison on May 29, 2008
     | 3,594 views

    But we must focus on the good Reminds me of a story about a newlywed farmer and his wife Mother-in-law visit demanding an inspection Genuinely tried to be friendly Hoping for non-antagonistic relationship To no avail, nagged at every opportunity Demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and ...read more

  • Stumbling Block Of Envy

    Contributed by Jim Kane on Sep 4, 2008
     | 4,410 views

    Stumbling Block of Envy When I was a few months from graduation from seminary, the church I had attended during college had a position open and I was very interested in it. The pastor had become a spiritual mentor to me, and I was hopeful for the opportunity to work with him. When we met to ...read more

  • In The First Half Of The 17th Century, Germany ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Oct 14, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,779 views

    In the first half of the 17th century, Germany was in the midst of wars and famine and pestilence. In the city of Eilenburg lived a pastor by the name of Martin Rinkart. During one especially oppressive period, Rinkart conducted up to 50 funerals a day as a plague swept through the town and as the ...read more

  • Don't Wait On The ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2009
     | 4,179 views

    DON’T WAIT ON THE DECISION I recently heard a terrible story about a young man who made a bad decision. The church of a pastor friend of mine had a drama about hell, and a mother brought her 26-year-old son who had been in rehab. When the pastor gave the invitation, the mother got up to go to the ...read more

  • Reconcilation Story

    Contributed by Jim Kane on May 18, 2009
     | 2,751 views

    RECONCILATION STORY It was a conversation that has stuck with me over the years. I was not a part of the conversation, per se, but I was a part of the audience that listened. I think that it took place in 1986 but I cannot remember. It was, I remember, a Sunday night at the church where I was ...read more

  • Boss: Mark Dever On The Four Aspects Of ...

    Contributed by Tim White on May 7, 2011
     | 3,158 views

    BOSS: MARK DEVER ON THE FOUR ASPECTS OF LEADERSHIP B=Boss. The leader "reproves, rebukes, and exhorts with all longsuffering and doctrine." There is a delicate balance in local churches between pastoral authority (Hebrews 13) and congregational authority (Matthew 18). The pastors must exercise ...read more

  • The Story Is Told Of A Little Girl Whose Parents ...  PRO

    Contributed by Howard Parnell on Sep 26, 2002
    based on 136 ratings
     | 2,873 views

    The story is told of a little girl whose parents never went to church. However, they insisted upon her attendance and what is more is that she had to be able to recite the preacher’s text for the day. One morning she rushed home excited: "Oh mama, my name is in the Bible." "That’s not likely," ...read more

  • Too Late To Date  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 5, 2003
    based on 10 ratings
     | 3,144 views

    *Too Late To Date* An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to ...read more

  • Little Emily, The Minister's Daughter, Ran Into ...

    Contributed by James Westmoreland on Oct 23, 2006
     | 1,705 views

    Little Emily, the minister’s daughter, ran into the house, crying as though her heart would break. "What’s wrong, dear?" asked the pastor. "My doll! Billy broke it!" she sobbed. "How did he break it, Emily?" "I hit him over the head with ...read more

  • Dr. Stephen F. Olford Was Blessed With A Long ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,120 views

    Dr. Stephen F. Olford was blessed with a long and fruitful ministry on both sides of the Atlantic. Olford Ministries International in Memphis, Tennessee, is his legacy. His passion was for training pastors, preachers, teachers, and leaders in effective, expository preaching. In his book Preaching ...read more

  • The Last Invitation

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Feb 14, 2009
     | 4,311 views

    THE LAST INVITATION While pastoring at the FBC of Cherryville, North Carolina, a disturbance was observed, and shortly afterward a man was taken from the balcony of the church [and placed] in an ambulance. He was dead before they got him to the hospital. He died before the invitation could be ...read more

  • Satan Says In Effect To Jesus In Matthew 4

    Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Jan 2, 2010
     | 1,656 views

    Satan says in effect to Jesus in Matthew 4 "JUST COMPROMISE AND YOU’LL GET WHAT YOU WANT", But the AUTHORITY OF RULE doesn’t come with a CROWN OF POWER from the enemy. It comes with a CROSS OF SUFFERING and humility. Satan says "I’ll give you POWER WITHOUT THE PAIN, A CROWN WITHOUT THE ...read more

  • Teens Admire...?

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Mar 10, 2010
     | 2,863 views

    TEENS ADMIRE...? Have you thought lately about who teenagers admire? World Almanac and Book of Facts surveyed eight graders a few years ago and discovered that the top thirty names were movie stars and athletes. Not one admired adult was a religious leader, statesman, author, painter, doctor, ...read more

  • A Common Phrase Used In The World Of Healing Is, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Kenneth Squires on Mar 22, 2005
    based on 5 ratings
     | 2,806 views

    A common phrase used in the world of healing is, “time heals all wounds.” I have found this to be more false than true. As a pastor, I talk regularly with people who are still carrying hurts from 30 or 40 years ago. The real truth is, time often makes things worse. Wounds that are left untended ...read more

  • Church Finances: The Average Church Budget Size ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 18, 2006
     | 2,474 views

    Church finances: The average church budget size is $292,790 (median: $203,590). Senior pastors earn a median base salary of $31,006 and a median housing allowance of $15,250. 66% of church treasurers are responsible for the oversight of church expenditures. 57% of churches use debt only as needed ...read more

  • What We Believe: A Recent Newsweek Poll Gauges ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 18, 2006
    based on 6 ratings
     | 3,774 views

    What We Believe: A recent Newsweek poll gauges Americans’ opinions on the Book of Revelation and end times: *36% believe the Book of Revelation contains “true prophecy,” while 47% say it is metaphorical. *55% think the faithful will be taken up to heaven in the rapture. *74% of Americans believe ...read more