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In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

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  • Many Years Ago, In My High School Chemistry ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,968 views

    Many years ago, in my high school chemistry class, a little poem was often quoted. Its effort at humor may have been lacking but the consequences of an erroneous belief were certainly well depicted. It goes “Alas for little Willie, We’ll ne’er see Willie more, For what he thought was H2O, Was H2 ...read more

  • Works Thy Hands Have Made, Pt. 2

    Contributed by Brian Harvison on May 29, 2008
     | 1,392 views

    WORKS THY HANDS HAVE MADE, PT. 2 You ever wondered about some of the works His hand have made? Ever seen a picture of a platypus? Strand creature these things are. They live on the east coast of Australia. The bizarre appearance of this mammal baffled European naturalists when they first ...read more

  • The Importance Of Relationships

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Mar 4, 2009
     | 6,685 views

    THE IMPORTANCE OF RELATIONSHIPS I recently read some interesting statistics that show how IMPORTANT relationships are in our lives. The American Institute of Stress conducted research on 232 patients who had undergone cardiac surgery. Of those patients, 21 died within six months. Here are two ...read more

  • Oxen, Nuts And Shells  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 31, 2009
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,285 views

    OXEN, NUTS AND SHELLS All of us, at one time or another, have heard humorous stories of people who in a moment of frightful crisis will make extravagant promises to Almighty God, to other people; or, to themselves! Then, when the crisis is over or has subsided, they reduce the levels of their ...read more

  • Gas ...

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on May 29, 2010
     | 1,634 views

    Gas Mileage According to a story in the Grand Rapids Press, the owner of a small foreign car had begun to irritate his friends by bragging incessantly about his gas mileage. So they decided on a way to get some humor out of his tireless boasting, as well as bring it to an end. Every day one of ...read more

  • Not Much Help

    Contributed by Richard Tow on Jul 18, 2017
     | 6,368 views

    In his Peanuts strip, Charles Schulz had an amazing talent for communicating truths like this in humorous, memorable ways. In one strip Charlie Brown rests his head in his hands while leaning on the wall and looking miserable. His friend, Lucy, approaches. “Discouraged again, eh, Charlie Brown?” ...read more

  • Good God Almighty

    Contributed by Louis Pantelis on May 21, 2009
     | 5,113 views

    GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY I am reminded of the story of the fellow that always fell asleep during the pastor’s sermon. The wife had decided to keep him awake - so she took a large hair pin with the intention of sticking him with it when he nodded off. Sure enough, right in the middle of the pastor’s ...read more

  • Take The Poison

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,247 views

    Joke- Take the Poison A man goes to see the Pastor. "Pastor, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Pastor asked, "What’s wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Pastor, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I’m ...read more

  • Hell Should Break Your Heart

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 26, 2009
     | 1,776 views

    HELL SHOULD BREAK YOUR HEART It is difficult for any of us to receive a hard truth, however necessary it may be for us to hear it. But it is always much easier to hear it if it is told in love. Pastor and author Ray Stedman tells of a congregation that had dismissed its pastor. Someone asked a ...read more

  • The Way To Heaven

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 24, 2019
    based on 1 rating
     | 6,078 views

    . A pastor was trying to teach a children’s class about how to be saved. .”If I sold everything I have and gave it to the church, would I go to heaven?” The children answered, “No.” The pastor said, “Very good. That’s right. And if I worked hard at keeping the 10 commandments, would that get me ...read more

  • Several Christian Men Who Had Been Touched By ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,197 views

    Several Christian men who had been touched by the Lord decided to do something practical for their pastor: pray for him. What is so unusual about that, you might ask. Well, for one particular pastor, it was a brand new sensation. These few laymen had just returned from a Bible study that ...read more

  • Joke: I Am Reminded Of The Story Of The Fellow ...

    Contributed by Larry Jacobs on Aug 12, 2005
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,837 views

    JOKE: I am reminded of the story of the fellow that always fell asleep during the pastor’s sermon. The wife had decided to keep him awake - so she took a large hat pin with the intention of sticking him with it when he nodded off. Sure enough, right in the middle of the pastor’s message, he ...read more

  • Fighting The Wolves

    Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
     | 4,307 views

    FIGHTING THE WOLVES There was a pastor of a local Church who was concerned about some unsavoury business outside his local school. His protests finally led to a court case and the opposing barrister tried to do everything he could to discredit the pastor. "Are you a pastor?" the lawyer ...read more

  • Spite Fences  PRO

    Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Jul 10, 2003
    based on 5 ratings
     | 2,498 views

    SPITE FENCES: I had a good friend that pastored a church in the same town where I pastored. We had a very good friendship and often pent time together. We both loved to laugh. The church my friend pastored was next to a local grocery store. The grocery store venders would park in the back of the ...read more

  • Fred Smith, In His Book Learning To Lead Wrote ...  PRO

    Contributed by Denn Guptill on Oct 23, 2000
    based on 110 ratings
     | 2,674 views

    Fred Smith, in his book Learning to Lead wrote “The shepherd or pastor’s ultimate goal is not to please the sheep but to please God.” Cecil Paul the Author of Passages of a Pastor says that pastors need to free themselves from and I quote “The Tyranny of Evaluation.” Tim Hansel writing in his ...read more

  • Confession

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 6,632 views

    Illustration- Confession A man told his pastor he had done a terrible thing and could find no rest for his conscience. The pastor asked him, “Have you confessed it to the Lord?” And the man replied, “Pastor, I’ve confessed that sin a thousand times.” The wise pastor said, “That is 999 ...read more

  • I Am Sure All Of Us Had Our Fair Share Of Being ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,609 views

    I am sure all of us had our fair share of being disrupted, disparaged or discouraged by rude behavior such as insults, curses, or gossip. Three pastors went to the pastor’s convention and were all sharing one room. The first pastor said, “Let’s confess our secret vices one to another. I’ll start ...read more

  • Keep Your Fire Hot  PRO

    Contributed by John Perry on Feb 8, 2010
    based on 2 ratings
     | 4,839 views

    Keep Your Fire Hot A pastor went to visit a man who had been absent from church for some time. When the pastor arrived at the house of his wayward parishioner he found him sitting by a fire of glowing coals. The man fully expected his pastor to rebuke him for his tardy attendance at services. But ...read more

  • When The Immanuel Baptist Church First Called ...  PRO

    Contributed by Tim Richards on Sep 2, 2004
    based on 8 ratings
     | 2,884 views

    When the Immanuel Baptist Church first called Pastor Waite he quickly made his way to each home. Letting people know that he wanted to know anything about the people that would be helpful in his ministry. It wasn’t long before the new pastor knew most of the church secrets. When it came to getting ...read more

  • Pass Your Wisdom

    Contributed by Charles Whitmire on Sep 28, 2008
     | 3,270 views

    Pass Your Wisdom You and I are supposed to be passing wisdom to each other... Here's the good news - every one of you can do that! Every one of you has the potential to pass on wisdom: To help someone grow, to help inspire someone, to champion someone ...to add value to their life. Every one of ...read more