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In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

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  • A Three-Year-Old Girl Was Listening Intently To ...  PRO

    Contributed by Matthew Rogers on Feb 20, 2002
    based on 4 ratings
     | 5,614 views

    A three-year-old girl was listening intently to the children’s sermon one Sunday morning at her church. The minister explained that God wants everyone to get along and love each other. “God wants us all to be one,” he said. To which the little girl replied, “But I don’t want to be one. I want ...read more

  • Why It's Called Spam: The Most Plausible ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 27, 2006
     | 1,468 views

    Why It’s Called Spam: The most plausible explanation comes from www.spam.com, a good-humored Website owned by Hormel Foods. “Use of the term ‘spam’ was adopted as a result of he Monty Python skit in which a group of Vikings sang a chorus of ‘SPAM, SPAM, SPAM…’ in an increasing crescendo, drowning ...read more

  • Advice And Instructions Taken From Actual ...

    Contributed by Davon Huss on May 26, 2008
     | 2,799 views

    Advice and instructions taken from actual military sources. Some of these guys must have had a sense of humor. "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." --U.S. Marine Corps "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." ...read more

  • It Was One Of The Worst Days Of My Life: The ...

    Contributed by Karl Ingersoll on Jun 19, 2008
     | 3,345 views

    It was one of the worst days of my life: The washing machine broke down, the telephone kept ringing, my head ached, and the mail carrier brought a bill I had no money to pay. Almost to the breaking point, I lifted my one-year-old into his high chair, leaned my head against the tray, and began to ...read more

  • Motherhood Out Of Order  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 23, 2012
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,977 views

    MOTHERHOOD OUT OF ORDER There was a cartoon that portrayed a three-year-old, freckle-faced boy in a hallway. His pajamas are unsnapped, his diaper’s bagging, and he’s got a little teddy bear dangling in his hand. He is standing in front of his mother and father’s bedroom door, which is shut. On ...read more

  • Chuck Swindoll Has Written A Book Entitled ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,924 views

    Chuck Swindoll has written a book entitled “Living on the Ragged Edge.” In the introduction of that book Swindoll discusses the fast paced life of California. He says many people are getting fed up with the fast paced life of California and are moving to other slower environments. In fact, Swindoll ...read more

  • Punxsutawney Phil Is A Groundhog That Comes Out ...

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 15, 2010
     | 1,821 views

    Punxsutawney Phil is a groundhog that comes out of his burrow on Gobbler’s Knob, Pennsylvania, each February 2 to predict the weather. According to legend, if Phil sees his shadow, there will be 6 more weeks of cold weather. If he doesn’t see his shadow, spring will come early. This is all humbug ...read more

  • It's Been Said That The Six Most Important Words ...  PRO

    Contributed by Victor Yap on Mar 20, 2003
    based on 39 ratings
     | 2,871 views

    It’s been said that the six most important words in communications and human relations are “I admit that I was wrong.?Counting down, the five most important words are “You did a great job.?The four most important words are “What do you think??The three most important word are “May I help??The two ...read more

  • Collegiate Online 43% Of College Students Go ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 19, 2007
     | 794 views

    Collegiate Online 43% of college students go online at least 10 hours a week, while 31% spend 6 to 10 hours a week online and 19% visit the Web for 3 to 5 hours a week, finds a recent Experience study. By contrast, just 17% watch TV more than 10 hours a week, and a mere 1% spend 10 hours a week ...read more

  • The Oakland Police Force Recently Unveiled Its ...

    Contributed by Scott Jensen on Jan 2, 2009
     | 2,238 views

    The Oakland police force recently unveiled its first lowrider police car. The vehicle has the standard logo, lights and siren, but also includes chrome wheels, hydraulic lift, and a 500-watt sound system. The car was put on the force to help officers build better relationship with inner-city ...read more

  • That's All I Want

    Contributed by Suresh Manoharan on Mar 2, 2013
     | 1,781 views

    THAT'S ALL I WANT Here, I am prompted to share a humorous yet insightful Church story involving a Sunday school girl. Given the task of reciting the first verse of Psalm 23 before a huge Church crowd (including her anxious parents), this girl is said to have uttered unwittingly out of nervousness ...read more

  • Giving Blood  PRO

    Contributed by Matthew Rogers on Mar 11, 2002
    based on 25 ratings
     | 6,298 views

    GIVING BLOOD Priscilla Larson writes, “My brother-in-law, who is a minister, responded to a Red Cross appeal for blood donations. When he didn’t come home by the time his young son expected him, the boy asked his mother, ‘Is Dad going around visiting all the sick people?’ His mother replied, ‘He’s ...read more

  • Giving Blood" Priscilla Larson Writes, "My ...  PRO

    Contributed by Charles Salmon on Aug 18, 2004
    based on 4 ratings
     | 5,491 views

    "Giving Blood" Priscilla Larson writes, "My brother-in-law, who is a minister, responded to a Red Cross appeal for blood donations. When he didn’t come home by the time his young son expected him, the boy asked his mother, ‘Is Dad going around visiting all the sick people?’ His mother replied, ...read more

  • A Baptist Congregation Installed A New Full ...

    Contributed by Scott Jensen on Oct 8, 2008
     | 2,783 views

    A Baptist congregation installed a new full immersion baptistery in the sanctuary as part of an extensive remodeling project. But the county building inspector wouldn’t okay its’ installation. “I can’t,” he said, “unless it has a separate septic tank.” The trusties couldn’t understand why a ...read more

  • Hardship And Discipline

    Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Dec 12, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,919 views

    HARDSHIP AND DISCIPLINE No professional football team that plays its home games in a domed stadium with artificial turf has ever won the Super Bowl. While a climate-controlled stadium protects players (and fans) from the misery of sleet, snow, mud, heat, and wind, players who brave the ...read more

  • What I Wouldn't Give...

    Contributed by Scott Jensen on Mar 28, 2012
     | 2,999 views

    WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE... When Oliver Wendell Holmes was still on the U.S. Supreme Court, he and Justice Louis Brandeis took walks every afternoon. On one of these occasions Holmes, then ninety-two, paused to gaze in frank admiration at a beautiful young girl who passed them. He even turned to look ...read more

  • An Internal Revenue Inspector Walks Into A Church ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
    based on 10 ratings
     | 2,078 views

    An Internal Revenue inspector walks into a church and asks to see the pastor. He is shown to the pastor’s office and is offered a seat. "Pastor, I believe a member of your church, Mr. Jones, states on his tax return that he has donated $100,000 to ...read more

  • In The Movie From Louis L'amour's Book, "Hondo", ...

    Contributed by Clark Tanner on Nov 7, 2005
     | 1,188 views

    In the movie from Louis L’Amour’s book, “Hondo”, John Wayne passes the news to Geraldine Page’s character that their friend, Apache Chief Vittorio has been killed in battle. Her response is ‘no, it can’t be’, to which Hondo declares, ‘Everybody gets dead, it was his turn”. In spite of our ...read more

  • Charlie Browns Christmas--The Clip Is When Linus ...  PRO

    Contributed by Brice Early on Nov 30, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 4,088 views

    Charlie Browns Christmas--The clip is when Linus and Charlie brown are standing by the cement wall and Charlie Brown talks about how Christmas causes him to be depressed and how he doesn’t look forward to it. The draw is that not everyone looks forward to Christmas and the holidays. When the ...read more

  • Rejoice

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Dec 16, 2008
     | 6,543 views

    REJOICE I can recall a memorable moment many years ago when Susan and I were taking Kimberly, age 2, and her slightly younger cousin, Able, to church in the car. Kimberly was in a foul humor that morning, but her smily faced cousin decided it was time for a word of exhortation. Though he could ...read more